Amalia Andrade - You Always Change the Love of Your Life (for Another Love or Another Life)

PENGUIN BOOKS

An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC

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First published in Spanish as Uno siempre cambia al amor de su vida (por otro amor o por otra vida) by Espasa, an imprint of Editorial Planeta Colombiana S.A., Bogot, Colombia

Copyright 2015, 2017, 2018 by Amalia Andrade Arango

Translation copyright 2018 by Ezra E. Fitz

Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.

ISBN 9780143133469 (paperback)

ISBN 9780525505266 (ebook)

The recipes contained in this book are to be followed exactly as written. The Publisher is not responsible for your specific health or allergy needs that may require medical supervision. The Publisher is not responsible for any adverse reactions to the recipes contained in this book.

Cover design: Brianna Harden

Cover illustration and hand lettering: Amalia Andrade

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FOR LA MAMMA, WHO TAUGHT ME THAT LOVE IS A SUPERPOWER

FOR MOM

One thing I am never going to do when I grow up is fall in love, drop out of college, learn to subsist on water and air, have a species named after me, and ruin my life.

NICOLE KRAUSS, The History of Love

Is there a word for when you are young and pretending to have lived and loved a thousand lives? Is there a German word for that?... Lets say its Schaufenfrieglasploit.

AMY POEHLER, Yes Please

BEFORE YOU START READING

This book is for you if you are heartbroken because:

The love of your life is gone.

You let the love of your life go and now youre regretting it (deeply).

You were born with a broken heart.

You are heartbroken over the death of your dog, cat, or boa constrictor.

You broke up with your best friend.

You broke your own heart.

Someone you love very much has passed away.

You broke up with your imaginary boyfriend/girlfriend.

Other:

(Write your emotional situation here, total anonymity guaranteed.)

ALTERNATE TITLES

1. What People Promise When They Are in Love: How to Deal with Broken Promises, Broken Hearts, and Other Related Complications

2. Heartbreak: A Portable Encyclopedia of Bad Romances, Bad Breakups, Bad Vibes, and Other Related Feelings

3. ___________________ (Write your own title here.)

TREAT YOURSELF TO STICKERS

Stickers (available wherever stickers are sold) can be used whenever you feel you are making progress. Any sparkly star sticker, smiley face sticker, good job sticker, or the kind of stickers that smell good if you scratch them (not you, licorice sticker, you suck) will work PERFECTLY FINE for the purposes of this book. Use a sticker when:

• You havent cried in public in over a week.

• You have refrained from writing passive-aggressive tweets and/or Instagram captions.

• You havent asked your friend who follows him/her on Instagram to show you pictures in more than three days.

• You have showered, gone to work, and eaten a proper meal in the past twenty-four hours.

I THINK THAT THE WORST PART OF IT ALL WASNT LOSING HIM. IT WAS LOSING ME.

TAYLOR SWIFT

Artist and expert in emotional dilemmas. Superhuman.

CHAPTER ONE

CRYING

The act of producing tears, often while making loud sounds due to pain, sorrow, joy, or need. Usually accompanied by wails and sobs.

A LIST OF THINGS THAT DEFINITELY DO NOT WORK RIGHT NOW

• Sending text messages that are longer than a handwritten letter and contain the words I hate you, I hope you die an awful death, and/or You are the worst thing that ever happened to me.

• Sending text messages that are longer than a handwritten letter asking for forgiveness for having sent the previous messages.

• Sending naked selfies (please dont do this).

• Using witchcraft or any kind of sorcery to get your loved one back.

• Compulsively stalking your loved one via Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, etc.

• Deleting your loved one from all of your social networks in a flash of hatred and only to add him/her again five minutes later.