Copyright 2017 by Robert D. Wolgemuth
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Scripture quotations are from the following sources:
The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV)
Copyright 2001 by Crossway,
A publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
All rights reserved.
The Living Bible
Copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
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First e-book edition, 2017: ISBN 978-1-62157-568-9
Originally published in hardcover, 2017
Published in the United States by
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Published in association with the literary agency of Wolgemuth & Associates, Inc.
To Arthur S. DeMoss
With deepest appreciation, this book is dedicated to a man I never had the joy of meeting. His untimely death occurred in 1979 on the weekend of his oldest daughtersmy wife Nancystwenty-first birthday. Arts wife Nancy and their seven children have greatly missed his physical presence and his love and leadership. But Art DeMoss left an indelible imprint on each of them, and also on the lives of countless thousands around the world who came to faith in Christ through his personal witness. This man was a good shepherd to his wife, his family, and many others. I am deeply grateful for his example.
CONTENTS
BY N ANCY D E M OSS W OLGEMUTH
T o say that falling in love at the age of fifty-six was unexpected would be a huge understatement. Though I had been a strong champion of the institution of marriage and had never ruled out the possibility of marriage for myself, I had always had a strong sense of being set apart and called to serve the Lord as a single woman. Throughout my adult life, marriage simply had not been on my radar.
All that changed the day a certain gentleman expressed interest in pursuing a relationship with me. Much to my amazement and that of everyone who knew me, my heart was drawn to say yes. That man was Robert Wolgemuth, a widower whom I had known professionally as my literary agent a dozen years earlier.
Thus began a journey that led to our marriage nine months later. It all unfolded in a way that neither of us ever could have scripted. But God gave us peace throughout the process, as we trusted that He was writing this story and directing our steps.
The image of a shepherd was a prominent and recurring theme from the outset of our relationship. In our conversations and text messages, we often referred to the Lord as our Shepherd and invoked His wisdom, guidance, provision, and care. So much so, that our song soon became Savior, Like a Shepherd Lead Us. It continues to be the prayer of our hearts that our Savior would lead us and that we would know His voice and gladly follow Him.
Early on, I learned that the biblical model of the Good Shepherd was the template for Roberts understanding of a husbands calling. In one of our very first phone conversations, reflecting on his forty-four-year marriage to his late wife, Bobbie, Robert said, almost in passing: I loved being married, because I loved shepherding my wife.
Those words nearly took my breath away. I was struck that he didnt say he loved being married because of something his wife did for him, some need she met in his life. Rather, this man loved being married because he loved serving, blessing, caring and providing for, meeting the needs of, and gently leading his wife. He loved being a shepherd.
Seldom if ever have I heard another man describe himself or his marriage in that way. My heart was captured. Before long, this strong woman, the founder and leader of a national ministry who had spent years shepherding others, found herself willing and desiring to follow this man and to be shepherded by him.
Inexperienced as I was in matters of love and marriage, it helped that I had grown up in a home with a dad who had a shepherds heart. Art DeMoss took seriously his responsibility to follow Christ and to lead his family to do the same. He prioritized the needs of his family above the relentless demands of his successful business. He lived out the exhortation found in the book of Proverbs: Know well the condition of your flocks, and give attention to your herds (27:23). So I knew what it was to trust an earthly shepherd.
As I contemplated marriage, which I knew would require an enormous adjustment, I felt I could trust Roberts heart because I saw him daily, earnestly, humbly seeking to follow our Shepherd. I knew Robert would not be a perfect husband (any more than I would be a perfect wife), but I knew I could trust our Shepherd to lead our home through this human shepherd.
Robert wrote this book during the first year of our marriage. Can you imagine the joy of being married to a man whose early morning hours were spent unpacking what it means for a husband to shepherd his wife? (I figured my part was to make sure he had plenty of real life illustrations!) He is a loving, caring, tender shepherd who has won my heart and has given me the joy of letting him lead, a man who seeks daily to follow the leadership of the Great Shepherd.
My prayer is that this book will help you better understand and live out your calling to reflect the heart of that same Great Shepherd in your marriage and family, to lay down your life for those He has entrusted to your care. I can assure you that, with rare exceptions, this is something your wife longs for and that she will likely respond to that kind of grace-filled, loving leadership in ways you may never have dreamed possible.
It is no secret that the majority of Christian books are purchased by women. If you are a husband, theres a good chance your wife put this book in your hands. (Or perhaps youre not even holding itrather, youre listening to your wife read it to you!)
If youre a wife, I would say simply, Let your husband shepherd you. Encourage and affirm him when he takes even small steps in that direction. And when he fails (as he will, and as you will), be patient, and extend to him the mercy, forgiveness, and grace that you want and need him to grant to you.
This is not to say you do not have a voice in your marriage or that you ought to mindlessly follow wherever your husband leads. Robert is eager to know my thoughts, perspective, and desireson everything. He welcomes my input on issues big and small and is quick to thank me for it, even if it runs counter to what he was thinking. He is motivated to serve me, to honor me, and to lay down his life for me in the warp and woof of everyday life. I am a blessed woman.
