Its been a long time since Ive read a parenting book that was more enjoyable than this one. Robert Wolgemuths helpful advice, coupled with his humor and transparency, is wonderful. Once you start reading, it will be hard to put the book down.
G ARY S MALLEY, author and founder of the Smalley Institute
With a five-year-old daughter, I needed advice, wisdom, and direction. I found it in She Calls Me Daddy. Robert Wolgemuth has provided me and other dads with the godly wisdom to raise godly daughters.
S TEPHEN A RTERBURN, founder and chairman of New Life Ministries
As a clinical psychologist, I can assure you that Robert Wolgemuths counsel is sound. As a theologian, I can affirm that his approach is solid. This book is filled with profound truth and practical ideas, and its great fun to read. What a wonderful combination!
R ODNEY L. C OOPER, P H. D ., professor, Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary
One of the greatest advantages I have had in life is being well loved by my father. If he were alive today, he would agree wholeheartedly with this book. By practicing these principles, he gave my sister and me a foundation of love and confidence that nothing can shake.
D ALE H ANSON B OURKE, author
If you knew this mans daughters like I know this mans daughters, you would buy this book, read it carefully, and do exactly as it says. You would also give a copy to every man you know whos raising a daughter.
M ARK D E V RIES, president and founder of Ministry Architects
You want advice on raising daughters from someone who has done it. Robert Wolgemuth and his wife, Bobbie, have done it. I know their daughters, and you need look no further for examples. If you have a daughter, this is the right book for you.
J ERRY B. J ENKINS, author
She Calls Me Daddy
Copyright 1996, 2014 by Robert D. Wolgemuth
A Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188
Focus on the Family and the accompanying logo and design are federally registered trademarks of Focus on the Family, 8605 Explorer Drive, Colorado Springs, CO 80920.
TYNDALE and Tyndales quill logo are registered trademarks ofTyndale House Publishers, Inc.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. TM . Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide (www.zondervan.com). Scripture quotations marked ( NASB ) are taken from the New American Standard Bible. Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org).
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise without prior written permission of Focus on the Family.
The author is represented by the literary agency of Wolgemuth & Associates, Inc.
Editors: Larry K. Weeden and Ray Seldomridge
Cover design: THP, Ron Kaufmann
Cover photography by David Smith
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Wolgemuth, Robert D.
She calls me daddy/by Robert D. Wolgemuth
cm.
ISBN-13: 978-1-56179-652-6
Fathers and daughters. 2. Parenting. 3. Fatherhood Religious aspects Christianity. 4. Conduct of life. I. Title
HQ756.W651996
307.8742-dc2096-2303
CIP
The use of material from or references to various websites does not imply endorsement of those sites in their entirety. Availability of websites and pages is subject to change without notice.
Some peoples names have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved. However, the facts of what happened and the underlying principles have been conveyed as accurately as possible.
Build: 2014-06-11 11:46:42
To Melissa Christine Wolgemuth Schrader and Julie Elizabeth Wolgemuth Tassy
To Abigail Grace Schrader, Harper Corin Tassy, and Ella Patrice Tassy
Two daughters and three granddaughters about whom and for whom this book was written.
Your love encourages me; your affection warms me; your relentless devotion to Jesus inspires me.
F OREWORD
As fathers of daughters ourselves, and after counseling with hundreds if not thousands of parents, we have no doubt that girls are very different from boys. And most dads can see themselves in their sons and have some intuitive sense of what their boys need from them the same things they sought from their own fathers.
But when it comes to girls, thats another matter. Most guys are still trying to figure out their wives how are they to know what daughters need?
Boys often love to be tousled and teased by their dads. Girls love to be cherished. Boys can be spoken to with single words, half sentences, and grunts. Girls want their dads to talk to them in complete sentences. Boys long to live without their dads protection. Most girls thrive with confidence when they know their dad will be there.
We fathers can so easily blow it, though. I (Gary) remember when I was driving my then-16-year-old daughter, Kari, to a basketball game to see her boyfriend play. She opened her heart to me and confided that she thought she loved him, and that they had even discussed marriage. How did I respond? Well, after I spewed my soft drink through my nose, I shouted, I can take the love thing. But if you guys are talking about marriage, thats where I draw the line! Youre only 16 years old, for crying out loud!
As you might imagine, things only went downhill from there. And I confess that spewing soda and crushing your girls spirit are not how I normally advise other parents to relate to their children, even in times of high stress.
Fortunately for all us dads, Robert Wolgemuth takes the mystery out of raising daughters more tenderly and effectively. As the father of two girls himself, he learned a lot of lessons that he reveals in this book, making the way a lot more clear for the rest of us.
Let us explain what particularly drew us to She Calls Me Daddy. One of the primary themes in our own teaching about healthy family relationships is the importance of honor, attaching high value to those you love and demonstrating it every day in how you speak to and act toward them. Happily, in a nutshell, that describes what She Calls Me Daddy teaches dads to do for their daughters. Its seven tools for building a daughter amount to seven great ways to honor your girl, whether shes two or 17.
Dads have always played a crucial role in the healthy development of their daughters. As Robert points out in this book, the way you teach her and prepare her for life will have a huge impact on whether shes ready to embrace it and live it to the fullest. The way you treat her and her mother will set her expectations for how men should treat women. The lines of communication you establish with her will give her a way to face the challenges and temptations with confidence and a sense of security.
In this revised edition of a now-classic book, Robert also helps us dads to cope with phenomena like texting and the Internet. We all know the modern world has become a more connected and, in many ways, a more dangerous place. But how technology is used has implications for the father-daughter relationship, too, as youll soon discover in the following pages.