Delivered by Desire
The Encouraging Truth
About Christians and Sexual Purity
Daryl Wingerd
Christian Communicators Worldwide
Copyright 2010 Daryl Wingerd
All rights reserved
ISBN 9780982096819
Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible , Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by the Lockman Foundation.
Used by permission. www.Lockman.org .
Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version , Copyright 2000; 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by Permission. All rights reserved.
All italics in Scripture quotations were added by the author for emphasis.
Additional copies of Delivered by Desire and other publications may be ordered online at www.CCWtoday.org .
Published by Christian Communicators Worldwide
Kansas City, Missouri, USA.
www.CCWtoday.org
Cover design by Tony Barmann
www.saul2pauldesign.org
Table of Contents
Two Men, a Park Bench, and a Confession
The Significance of Desire
The Anatomy of Desire
Irrationality 101
Marriage Poison
Fools Vomit
New Creation
Obedient from the Heart
Body Language
The High Calling of Being Yourself
It Only Works by Faith
The Weapon That Works
Be Battle Ready
Prepare Your Mind for Action
Kill the Enemy
Follow Your Love Drive
Fight With the Church and For the Church
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The Danger of Being Deceived
Is the Regenerate Heart Deceitful and Desperately Sick?
Abusing the Body Language of the New Testament
The Relationship Between Nature and Behavior
Have Christians Laid Aside the Old Self or Not?
Before Telling Your Wife
My Personal Story
Preface
Most men believe that accountability is the invincible weapon for fighting lust, but many of us have found that this method falls short. It helps for a while, granted, due to the repulsive power of embarrassment. But whats next? We need something more potent if we are to experience lasting victory.
Daryl Wingerd isnt psychological in his approach, but has dug up and brushed off the Bibles core explosive device for defeating habitual sexual sin. You wont find this concept in most self-help books on the subjecteven Christian ones. Im convinced you will discover here the volatile material able to finally decimate lust as a pattern of life, in you and in those you help. Like others, you may say, Ive not read a book quite like this for clarifying the biblical way to succeed over this troubling issue.
The author writes in an easy style with short chapters, but handles large and powerful biblical concepts. You wont be intimidated by his words, but his words will intimidate your sin. Wingerd has provided some questions at the end of each chapter for those who wish to use the book for small group discussions, and for the man who wants to reflect privately on what he has read. Due to the brevity of the chapters, your small group may be able to cover more than one chapter each time you meet. The book will be invaluable to men in generalsingle and married, younger and older. Lust will nip at us till the end if we dont deal with it biblically.
Im often sobered by the idea that a sin neatly hidden in one mans life is the same sin that entirely ruins another. Where one man will find lust and satisfaction of that lust an intermittent problem at worst, another man will say that what began as a private, occasional sin proved catastrophic later. Were not dealing with trifling matters when we talk about sexual sin. It has destroyed many men, torn up many families, and blighted many histories.
Women may wish to read this book also. It will help them understand what their husbands and sons may face. Though writing from the mans perspective, the author is not unaware of how lust can become a womans problem as well. In fact, believers in general may wish to read this book to discover how to overcome other habitual sins. The biblical principles will apply.
We rejoice at the wonderful liberty men are experiencing as they understand and apply these truths. Enjoy that liberty yourself.
Jim Elliff
President, Christian Communicators Worldwide
Face Reality
You probably experience pornographic temptation almost every day, and the Internet is not the only source. Try walking through a video store without being tempted to lust. Watch primetime TV without your conscience often telling you to look away. Find a grocery store where you can check out without standing next to a display of sexually provocative photographs.
The regrettable truth is, you live in a pornographic culture.
Chapter 1
Two Men, a Park Bench, and a Confession
Two men sit together on a park bench, talking. Even from a distance it is obvious that one of them is troubled about something. His head hangs in discouragement as he speaks. The other man listens, but says nothing.
When a young couple walks by holding hands, the discouraged man stops talking and looks away, avoiding eye contact. The listener looks up at the couple and smiles politely.
Now we are closer and able to hear their conversation. The man who was listening begins to speak quietly, doing his best to preserve privacy. Ill call him Nick and the discouraged man John.
N ICK . I cant believe youre looking at pornography again. I thought you gave that up when you became a Christian last year.
J OHN . I thought so too, but sometimes I just cant resist the temptation.
N ICK , sarcastically . Cant?... or wont? Im tempted too, but I seem to be able to resist.
J OHN , sounding defeated. OK, now I feel like scum.
N ICK . Sorry, thats not the way I meant it. But looking at pornography isnt just a bad habit. Its a serious sin.
J OHN . I know its serious, but there are worse things I could be doing. After all, its not like Im breaking the law.
N ICK . Now wait a minute. Just because you cant get arrested for looking at pornography, what makes you think youre not breaking the law?
J OHN , with a puzzled expression on his face . What do you mean?
N ICK . You call yourself a Christian, and Christians are people who obey Christ. So how can you say youre not breaking His law?
( Long pause as John hangs his head again. )
N ICK, exasperated . Why dont you just quit? Just tell yourself you wont ever do it again.
J OHN . Youre right. I should quit, and I want to quit, but...
( Short pause. John sighs deeply. )
N ICK . But what ?
J OHN . This may sound strange, but Ive tried and tried to quit and Im finally realizing that I dont know how.
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Why do so many men who claim to be Christians fail in the area of sexual sin? One possible explanation is that some may not be true Christians. They have been deceived into thinking they can be saved while they go on loving and practicing their sin. Despite this possibility, the false convert answer should not be our first response to confessions like the one Nick heard from John.
Real Christians are subject to temptation and may sin in many ways as long as they live. They are even encouraged to confess their sins to one another (as John did to Nick) so that other Christians can pray for them (James 5:16). Also, the church is given instructions concerning how to deal with true believers who are caught in any trespass (Gal. 6:1; cf. Matt. 18:1517; Luke 17:3). If a man goes on cherishing his sin rather than forsaking it when confronted by other believers (in other words, if he does not repent), the church must consider him an unbeliever and remove him from their fellowship (Matt. 18:17; 1 Cor. 5). But we are never told to automatically conclude that a sinning brother is not a true Christian.
