S. Michael Wilcox - When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered

Library of CongressCataloging-in-Publication Data

Wilcox, S. Michael.

When yourprayers seem unanswered / S. Michael Wilcox.

p. cm.

Includesbibliographical references and index.

ISBN-101-59038-586-1 (hardbound : alk. paper)

ISBN-13978-1-59038-586-9 (hardbound : alk. paper)

1. MormonwomenReligious life. 2. PrayerMormonChurch. I. Title.

BX8641.W54 2006

248.8'43dc22 2006006523

Printed in Mexico

R. R. Donnelley andSons, Reynosa, Mexico

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Letters from Father

A number of years ago my eldest daughterwent to Russia. This was before e-mail was the popular and convenient means ofcommunication it has become. Russia was just opening up to the world, and shewas going to teach English in Moscow. Our ability to communicate with her wouldbe intermittent at best, and we were concerned about her welfare. In order forus to support her at such a long distance I decided to write some lettersbefore she went just in case we couldnt talk to her during her six-monthstay. She was just out of high school, and as a parent, I was somewhatconcerned. I tried to imagine every problem, dilemma, emotion, concern, feelingof loneliness, elation (from the high to the low), she might experience in thattime period. I then wrote a letter of counsel, comfort, or advice that shecould read there, since I couldnt otherwise readily communicate with her. Ilabeled each letter on the outside: When Youre Discouraged; When You GetHomesick; When You Are Tempted; and so forth. During our good-byes at theairport, I handed her the large packet of letters that I hoped would aid her insolving any concerns she might have.

I was not omniscient about everything she would face duringthose six months, but I did hit a number of them. Some of the letters sheopened after her return home, just to see what I had written, even though shehadnt faced that particular concern.

I believe there is a parallel to this situation in all of ourlives. In a manner of speaking, the scriptures are like a handful of lettersfrom our Father in Heaven, who has anticipated the questions and concerns wemight have from time to time during our mortal existence. Unlike me, he knows all the varied and multipleexperiences his children will face, and so he has provided answers for usbefore we even ask the questions, face the temptations, or are challenged bylifes trials.

During many years of teaching, I have been asked a number ofquestions, but one stands above the rest because of how often it has been asked and the number of different age groups that have shared its concern. It issometimes phrased in different words, but the theme is essentially the same:How do I get answers to prayer? Why does the Lord deal with us the way hedeals with us? Why, sometimes, do we appear not to get answers at all? Whydo others receive their desires and I do not? How can I know the answers arecoming from God and not from my own mind?

Maybe if I describe the details of an extreme case it willcover everything to a lesser degree. The scriptures do tend to deal withextremes for that very reason.

"Did Heaven Look On?"

There are twolines from Shakespeare I often quote to myself when I face certaindilemmas in life. I repeat, these represent extreme situations, but they quitesuccinctly state the difficulty most of us face. Here are the quotes. The firstis from The Tragedy of KingRichard III. Elizabeth, who is the dispossessed former queen, receives word that the two princes, hertwo young sons, have been executed in the Tower of London by their uncle,Richard III. She raises her eyes to heaven and prays:

Wilt thou, O God, fly from such gentle lambs,

And throw them in the entrailsof the wolf?

When didst thou sleep when sucha deed was done? (Act IV,Scene iv)

The second quote is from TheTragedy of Macbeth. Macduff learns that Macbeth has killed Macduffsentire family. Once again, there is a turning to heaven and a wondering and aquestioning why there was not help in such a desperate situation. Macduff inhis agony cries:

Did heaven look on,

And would not take their part?

(Act IV, Scene iii)

In lessermoments in my lifeand perhaps in lesser moments in your lifeImust admit I am sometimes tempted to be critical of the way that God is runningthe universe, at least our corner of it. I have a tendency occasionally to lookheavenward and quote Shakespeare, and say as Macduff said, Did heaven look on,and would not take their part?

The issue at hand is not always one concerning my owndesires or needs.It often occurs when I see someone I love seemingly deniedrighteous longings or called to endure lifes trials beyond reason. On abroader scope, even a cursory perusal of the nightly news can providesufficient fodder for a heavenward glance and a quiet quoting of Macduff.

I think about a daughter who was born wanting to be a motherbut who hasnt yet been able to have children; another daughter longing to bemarried who just turned thirty-two and still hasnt had that joy inher life; a wife who, in spite of blessings and prayers and temple rolls, livesin pain everyday. And these are just some of the concerns in the great ocean ofhuman experience. Im convinced all of us have those disappointing, tryingtimes when we wonder why heaven [looks] on, and [will] not take [our] part.

The Fourth Watch

I would like tosuggest some things that go through my mind in those difficult momentsof life. Hopefully theyll be of value to you as they have been to me. They arethe letters I peruse from a kind Father in Heaven, who knew beforehand we wouldface such dilemmas and questions. One of the first of those scriptural letterscontains a principle I call The Fourth Watch.

A New Testament day was divided into twelve hours, beginningat six in the morning. The third hour would be nine oclock, the sixth hourwould be noon, and the eleventh hour, though we visualize it as being justbefore midnight, actually was five oclock in the evening. The night wasdivided into four watches: The first watch was from six in the evening untilnine at night. The second watch was nine until midnight, the third watch frommidnight until three in the morning, and the fourth watch from three in themorning until six, about sunrise.

The Savior had just fed the five thousand. He instructed hisdisciples to get into a boat and pick him up later, after he had dismissed themultitude and later spent some solitude in prayer. The disciples obeyed. It waslate afternoon or early evening when they got into the ship and pushed out intothe Sea of Galilee. Jesus sent the multitude home and then turned to communionwith his Father. He prayed into the evening and long into the night.

In the meantime, a storm had swept down on the disciples intheir voyage: And when even was come, the ship was in the midst of the sea,and he alone on the land. And he saw them toiling in rowing; for the wind wascontrary unto them (Mark 6:4748). In Matthews version it says, Theship was... tossed with waves (Matthew 14:24), and in Johnsaccount we read: And the sea arose by reason of a great wind that blew. Sowhen they had rowed about five and twenty or thirty furlongs...(John 6:1819).