Betsy Schow - The Quitter’s Guide To Finishing: 101 Ways To Get Where You Want To Be

THE QUITTER'S GUIDE TO FINISHING

101 Ways to Get Where You Want to Be

Betsy Schow

For my husband, who lets me share our lives and my spaz outs with the masses.

CONTENTS

Hello, my name is Betsy. And I am a recovering Quitter.

(Hi, Betsy)

If this strikes you as the beginning of some support meeting, like Quitters Anonymous, youre not too far off.

For most of my life, I was that kid. The one the teachers always harassed for not living up to their potential. In fact, the only thing I truly excelled at was quitting. You name itIve probably attempted and quit it at some point. Id get these grand ideas of how to make my life better. Id get excited about this diet or that workout routine. Or try starting a new hobby or project. On multiple occasions that included attempting to write a book. That was all well and good, but unfortunately, within a few weeks, the excitement would fade and that little voice would kick in. You know the one Im talking about: Youre no good at this. Youll never keep the weight off. Why are you even bothering? That little voice kept me from finishing... anything.

So after many years of being fat and miserable, with a few years mixed in of being average and less miserable, I finally had a lightbulb moment. The reason I was unhappy was not the extra 75 pounds around my middle. Rather, it was the weight of all the things unfinished that pulled me down, making it impossible to move forward.

You see, every time Id get a new idea and quit, each one of those abandoned goals became a stone that piled at my feet. Then my mountain of failures would get a little higher, making success that much harder to see or reach.

The adventure that changed me from Quitter to Finisher started the day I broke the scale and had yet another one of those grand plans to lose weight. Except this time, by complete accident, it went beyond the pounds and snowballed into a year of changing my life and accomplishing seemingly impossible dreams. One of those dreams was to write a book and share my experiences with others. With a lot of hard work and help, my first book, Finished Being Fat, came to life on the page.

Now, one of things Ive heard at book signings or speaking to people about my book is, What does Finished Being Fat even mean? Just because youre skinnier now, you can say that? Thats a pretty bold statement.

The answer is always that my new and improved life has less to do with the shift in number on the scale and more to do with the shift in my state of mind.

I was fat. Huge. Ginormous. Not because of the number embroidered on the tag of my jeans, but because of all those failures I carried around with me every day. My low self-esteem and depression very nearly destroyed my family. Obesity is an epidemic, but so is this unquenchable drive to be better, thinner than the woman standing next to us. Even if that woman is us, looking back from the mirror. I couldnt see past my own judgments for fear that someone elses would be even worse.

The concepts behind Finished Being Fat are much more than preoccupations with outside appearances. How many people worry that they arent successful because they are a stay-at-home mom instead of a business professional? How many people devalue themselves as a person of worth because they feel that they are not enough? That they are broken and not worth loving? Those worries and self-doubts can wriggle deep within our souls and infect every part of our existence with feelings of failure.

And thats why I wrote Finished Being Fat. Its my story, my quest to change the way I looked at my life and myself. Its about how everything became different once I learned the Philosophy of Finishing, and could give that girl in the mirror a hug and say, I love you at any size, and you can be anything you want to be. What I want for everyonemale or female, fit or fatis to discover the Philosophy of Finishing and change the way they see themselves and their lives. To gain the tools and the self-confidence to make goals, tackle the impossible, and find success and peace within their lives.

Because its not about the fat or failureits about the finish.

Finishing changed my life. It continues to change my life. Using the Philosophy of Finishing, I am not only a happier and healthier person, Im finally completing all those grand ideas. For me, I know I can finish anything and everything I set out to do.

I am a finisher.

My life is a success.

And everyone else can have the same thing.

During my yearlong adventure, I climbed a real mountain that darn near killed me, but the one Im going to guide you up is not built of granite, but of the stones and challenges that are unique to you. Your goal is at the summit, and like a Sherpa, I want to show you the way there by sharing some of my favorite quotes, personal sayings, stories, and some meditations/exercises I use when goal keeping that are universal to any goal, whether you want to lose weight, run a marathon, organize your house, finish school, get a better career, be smoke-free, or finally get going on your quest for world domination.

You dont need expensive equipment, coaching, or seminars. All you need is a willingness to look at things through a new lens. These 101 little tweaks in your brain will lead to a course correction in your life and let you tackle any mountain before you. Are you ready to take that first step?

T HE FIRST STEP IS ALWAYS A DOOZY. Aside from admitting that you have a quitting problem, you have to decide how to go about correcting that. Which mountain do you need to climb? What matters to you? What has been weighing you down?

Not all mountains are the same height. And it makes little sense to climb Everest if youd keel over hiking to the house at the top of the hill. What you choose as a goalhow you word and look at that goalsets the tone that can carry you through to the summit.

This section will help you psych up and identify which mountain is the one you need to take on right now and help you avoid the ones with the impassable cliffs.

#1

Philosophy of Finishing

Not everyone can win the race, but everyone can finish it.

Start off with the right mind-setyou arent striving to come in first. Or to beat or outdo anyone else. This is not a game or race to quit midway through if its not going well, or if you make a mistake. The entire purpose is only to keep on the path. Finish no matter how long it takes or what you have to go through.

Your first action along the path is to write in the space provided, I am a finisher. I promise I will cross the finish line no matter what.

There. Youve just made a commitment to yourself. The journey has startednow on to seeing it through.

#2

An ideal is a dangerous lie. A mirage of hope as you cross a desert, which blocks out everything else from sight. As you get closer, that cool sparkling water continues to be just out of reach, no matter how far you travel. Eventually you turn back defeated or keep going and die of thirst. Ideals are impossible to achieve, because they dont exist in reality.

Its a trap.

Dont fall for it.

An ideal is a false finish line. Completely unattainable, even with the best genetics and all the luck in the world. Its the quest to be Enough to fill that hole in your soul. Everybody falls in this snake pit sometimes, prey to the venom within it.

Ill be happy when Im ______________ enough.