Lily Collins - Unfiltered: No Shame, No Regrets, Just Me

For all those who have ever felt alone...

To the incredibly inspiring young women around the world whom Ive had the pleasure of meeting in person or on social media: Thank you for your constant support, passion, encouragement, and love. Your bravery to bare your souls and share your stories has inspired me to do the same.

CONTENTS

Standing out in a crowd is much more rewarding than blending in.

I used to be extremely insecure about my eyebrows. Theyve always had a mind of their own. When I moved to LA in elementary school, thin brows were the in thing. But since I was only six at the time, I wasnt paying attention to the media or the fashion world, nor did I feel the desire to change according to trends. I just knew I looked different. Once I hit twelve, though, and my preteen insecurities developed, I became very aware of my brows. They were all I could see when I looked in the mirror. They were so big and bushy and took up half my face. Kids started to make mean comments about them and it really got to me. Desperate for the insults to stop, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

One night before my mom and I were going out for dinner, I took a pair of tweezers and went to town on my brows. After what felt like forever, I stood back and admired myself in the mirror. I thought Id done an amazing job: they each had a nice arch and looked even and equally separated. I was super proud! My mom and I drove to the restaurant and got a table without mentioning my plucking job. I was so nervous to know what she thought, Id avoided her eyes the whole car ride. Well, that was no longer possible once we were across from each other at the table. My mom just sat there, staring at me, and asked what Id done to my face. At first she genuinely couldnt figure out what was different, until it finally clicked. I said I thought my eyebrows looked great. She said she did not. She informed me Id plucked half of them off and now they were two lines straight across my forehead. I refused to believe her, getting defensive and trying to justify why Id done it. Then I went to the bathroom and stared long and hard at myself. Ugh, she was right. They really did look a hot mess. I couldnt believe it. I was instantly regretful and sulked back to the table. My mom tried to make me feel better, but then added that they might never grow back, which did NOT help. I was not only annoyed with myself but also terrified that my once-luscious (though somewhat unwieldy) brows were forever thinned out and Id always look like a fool.

Well, BrowGate definitely taught me an important lesson. Id let other kids negative comments affect me, and then Id let my insecurities lead me to alter my appearance and make a big mistake. Which was exactly why my mom was upset. She wanted me to recognize that Id tried to change one of my features to fit in. I hadnt seen my thick, bushy brows as beautiful; Id seen them only as something that made me different. So she taught me the mantra The quirky things that make you different are what make you beautiful. Different shouldnt be considered a bad thing. Different is beautiful!

Luckily, my brows did grow back... albeit after quite some time. And I never went crazy on them again. It took me a while to fully embrace how prominent and unique they are, but once I did, I never went back! While I am still faced with negative comments online every daypeople saying that I should shave or wax them off, that Im too hairyI just laugh and roll my eyes. Ive grown so attached to my brows (and they to me) over the years. Theyve become my signature feature! Aside from the internet trolls, I get compliments on them all the time. Ive even been asked by people if they could touch them. Its like theyre rubbing the stomach of a Buddha statue for good luck! Despite being slightly confused by all this fuss, Im super flattered. My brows have become a characteristic that defines me, rather than a characteristic that defines how I feel. Theyre part of who I am, and thats exactly the point: theyre part of what makes me me. A trademark. Theres only one of each of us in this world, so all those quirks that define us are special things that should be embraced, never pushed away.

Quirky isnt only about the physical characteristics were born with. It can also be about our personality traits. Growing up, I was fascinated by what made people tick and loved finding any excuse to socialize with strangers. I genuinely wanted to meet new people from all walks of life and get to know them, and I craved the gratification that came from making others and, by extension, myself happy. I used to go up to people on the street and compliment them, telling a lady I liked her shoes, hair, dress, you name it, or even telling a guy he was handsome. My friends found it so weird, and they definitely didnt understand where I got the guts to do itbeing super extroverted wasnt their style. Like the time I was nine and waiting on line at an amusement park with my mom and, with her approval, I approached this intriguing-looking thirtysomething guy in line in front of us. I told him I thought he was cute. I then asked him to sit next to me on the roller coaster because I was scared and knew his cuteness would distract me. As you might expect, he was thrown at first but, eventually, ended up caving. See! I was always weirdly brave around strangers, compelled to interact with them and befriend them even at the risk of embarrassing myself. I still remember going up to a heavily tattooed guy on a Harley-Davidson in Venice Beach when I was six and telling him in my sweet, innocent British accent that his tattoos were very pretty. Now, Im sure that wasnt what he was expecting, nor what he wanted to hear in front of his fellow bikers, but I bet it made him smile on the inside. And I think thats why I did it. Not because I expected anything in return, but because I was never afraid to put myself out there in order to make someone else feel better. Which is very similar to what I often do as an actor: I help bring to life stories that I hope will make people feel comforted or happy. And theres nothing wrong with wanting to spread a little happiness. Its beautiful.

I WAS ALWAYS TELLING STORIES TO WHOEVER WOULD LISTENGNOMES INCLUDED. I DIDNT DISCRIMINATE.

This sort of quirky free-spiritedness didnt stop there. Ever since I was little, Ive sought out the company of people much older than me. As a kid I didnt care that a grown-up and I had seemingly little in common, because once we got chatting, we had lots to say. Sometimes I even had more to talk about with them than with kids my age. Adults would ask me all kinds of questions about my generation and what certain words meant or what was cool. And I found them world-wise and hilarious. In fact, I made sure to include my friends moms in conversations, while my friends would have rather ignored them. Being so close with my own mom, I loved hearing her friends stories and found their conversations really interesting. Maybe it was considered odd that I was socializing with people triple my age, but I genuinely didnt think twice about it. And the wisdom they imparted to me was really valuable. Being open and nonjudgmental is an incredible thing. After all, its how wed want others to be toward us.