Table of Contents
Also by Al Siebert
THE RESILIENCY ADVANTAGE:
MASTER CHANGE, THRIVE UNDER PRESSURE,
AND BOUNCE BACK FROM SETBACKS
(Winner, Independent Publishers 2006 Best Self-Help Book)
THE ADULT STUDENTS GUIDE TO SURVIVAL & SUCCESS,
6th edition
with Mary Karr, MS
THE SURVIVOR PERSONALITY MANUAL
THE RESILIENCY MANUAL FOR FEDERAL EMPLOYEES
RESILIENCY:
THE POWER TO BOUNCE BACK PERSONAL LEARNING COURSE
(audio CDs)
with Paul Scheele
GATHERING WISDOM:
HOW TO ACQUIRE WISDOM FROM OTHERS
WHILE DEVELOPING YOUR OWN
with Jerry Fletcher, Cheryl Matschek, MS, MH, and Gail Tycer, MS
STUDENT SUCCESS:
HOW TO SUCCEED IN COLLEGE
AND STILL HAVE TIME FOR YOUR FRIENDS, 8th edition
with Tim Walter and Laurence Smith
LAWRENCE ALBERT (AL) SIEBERT
At the moment I was introduced to Al, I was captivated by his quiet, gentle, yet playful spirit that twinkled in his eye. I often watched and listened as he responded and interacted with people. I observed the deep connection they felt with him and his work, and I gained immense respect for his clear insight into how humans survive and thrive. Al and I both acknowledged that our connection was much more than our human brains could reason. Sharing six years of marriage with Al was more than any lifetime experience could provide.
This edition of The Survivor Personality is dedicated to the memory of Al Siebert, PhD, and his lifes work of more than forty years as a pioneer in survivor and resiliency research. I admired witnessing how Al was hitting his stride as an internationally recognized and sought-after resiliency expert and consultant to organizations such as the World Trade Center Survivors Network, the U.S. Army Medical Service Corps Provider Resiliency Training, the federal Eastern Management Development Center, Northwest tribal gatherings, and more. Unfortunately, Al was taken from all of usyou, his family, and mebefore he felt his contribution was complete. He was comforted in the knowledge that people will continue to learn and grow from his survivor personality and resiliency research.
It is my desire that this book will enrich your life by showing you that you can learn the skills necessary to survive and thrive in any life experience.
MOLLY SIEBERT
PREFACE
This book is a survivor. For more than fifteen years and in eight different languages, it has inspired those around the world who reach for its universal message: that we all possess, instinctively, everything we need to survive, adapt, and thrive. Survivors have learned it is in the development of everyday skills that will better allow them to overcome adversity and challenge by providing a reservoir of responses from which to draw. Survivors know that experiencing crisis will often enable inborn strengths they didnt know they had. Survivors have learned to search for the gift in their difficult situation.
In todays world, we all need to be survivors. It is not just of extreme situations but also in daily life, work, and health. The wisdom captured within these pages is timeless and crosses situational boundaries. While the survivor personality is something everyone feels, we often dont know how to manifest it into the survival skills necessary for surviving and thriving in our own lives. When talking with people about the survivor personality, some will respond, I have that but are unable to articulate exactly what it means. Al Siebert removed the guesswork.
We humans have a wonderful advantage over other creatures. Our brains give us the ability to respond with conscious choice to events in our lives instead of being led by a simple, reflexive reaction that may do us in. The awareness of our conscious response to adversities and challenges can provide us with the choice to respond mindfully instead of automatically.
The type of attitude you develop toward change determines your level of survival. Understanding basic theories of why and how to change the way you react in stressful situations and practicing the exercises in this book will lead you to discover your inborn skills as well as how to become change proficient. You will see that the proficiencies necessary to cope, adapt, survive, and thrive through adversity are largely the same ones you use every day. You will find that an experience that once may have drained you emotionally can be made emotionally nutritious. A difficulty that might have broken you can be turned into one of the best things that ever happened to you.
Al had unique experience and perspective gathering his lifes work on survival and resiliency. We believe this revised edition of The Survivor Personality will give you a better understanding of why developing your own survivor personality traits is essential and provide you with the tools you need to do so.
KRISTIN PINTARICH
MOLLY SIEBERT
FOREWORD
I was raised by parents who taught me about survival behavior. My fathers father died when he was a child, and my father told me that it was one of the best things that ever happened to him because it taught him how to survive. My mother, in times of adversity, would tell me, It was meant to be. God is redirecting you. Something good will come of this. It never failed to amaze me how often God did something to prove my mother right.
Most of us are not trained by parents, teachers, or religions to survive. If you are one of the fortunate few taught by family or circumstances the lessons of survival, then this book will confirm what you already know. If you have yet to discover within yourself those qualities that seem evident in survivors, then this book will show you not only what they are but how you can access and use them for yourself.
So many people complain that life is unfair, but that very fact proves just how fair it can be. Life doesnt discriminate. Everyones life contains difficulties, and Al Siebert, with his wisdom and experience, shows you not only how to survive but how to thrive in the face of adversity.
A few people recover when their physicians expect them to die. I asked many of these survivors, Why didnt you die when you were supposed to? I learned that their recovery was not luck, a miracle, or because of an error in diagnosis. They all knew they participated in their survival. It is the same for those who make it through natural disasters and other catastrophic events; they know they were not just lucky.
There are qualities that survivors possess, and they can be described and learned. No one can make you a survivor and thriver. You have to have the desire and inspiration. No one can change you. Only you can do that, but the scriptthe road mapis here for you to follow. Many others have gone before you on this journey. They have trudged through the deep snow leaving a path for you. Stepping in their footsteps will make the journey easier. You dont have to be a pathfinder.
Why would you want to make the effort? Well, which is the better choice, self-love or self-neglect and self-destruction? The truth is, it is not selfish to care for yourself. If you dont, who will? Part of surviving is knowing you are not just the role you are playing. You need a life with the self-esteem and self-worth that go with it.
