Ebony S. Small - The Leader in You: Discovering Your Unexpected Path to Influence

TO MY HEAVENLY FATHER

Youve given me a new life and purpose.

I am because of you.

TO MY PARENTS

Thank you for loving and believing

in me no matter what!

TO MY SIBLINGS AND GODCHILDREN

I live to make you proud.

TO LINDA

This book is what it is because of your wisdom.

Thank you is not enough.

We say with confidence,

The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.

What can mere mortals do to me?

HEBREWS 13:6

UP UNTIL THE FOURTH GRADE I was bullied by two girls at my school in East Harlem. Lets call them Sarah and Christine. I dont know what made me a target. All I wanted was to make it stop.

I was a quiet kid. I loved school. I was one of the lucky students who won a school lottery to study the violin under the instruction of Ms. Roberta Guaspari, the subject of the film Music of the Heart.

Sarah, Christine, and I were in the same class. Sarah and Christine were best friends. They were bigger than I was. I felt powerless against them and their endless teasing. All I wanted was friendship and to be loved. I was desperate to fit in.

I told my mom that I was being bullied. She encouraged me to stand up to both girls and assured me that I would see them for who they wereall bark and no bite.

One day during recess Sarah threatened to slap me. I was terrified. I didnt want to be beaten up. But then I remembered my moms instruction: Just stand up to her. I would see what she was really made of.

When Sarah said again that she would slap me, I responded, Do it! I was stunned as the words left my mouth. Where did this boldness come from?

Sarah was shocked. I had never stood up for myself before. We had a standoff/stare down that felt like it lasted for an eternity. She kept gesturing as if she was going to slap me. We got closer and closer to each other, faces nearly touching.

I kept saying over and over again, Do it!

Finally, she backed off. I couldnt believe it!

That day, something changed in me.

This experience became just one of the markers that led to my discovery of the person God called me to be: a leader who deals with people who are terrified, overwhelmed, angry, hopeless, oppressed, and in need of deliverance. Just as I needed someone to speak into my life when I was a kid, people today need leaders to speak into their lives.

If you saw the 1994 animated movie The Lion King or the Broadway play of that name, you remember Simbas struggle to be a leader. Believing himself to be responsible for the death of his father Mufasa, he ran away from his family at Pride Rock. Though he found companionship with Pumbaa and Timon, who became his surrogate parents, he forgot who he wasthe son of the king of all of the animals. While he was away, his people suffered under the cruel rulership of his uncle Scar. Simba needed to be reminded of who he was and what he had to do. Maybe thats where you are today.

Have you ever been in trials or battles so intense that you lost sight of who you were? Maybe you started to believe the things being said about you. Maybe you thought they were right about you. Perhaps you thought, Maybe I am unqualified. Maybe I cant overcome in this area.

In 2006, I worked at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center (MSKCC) as an associate director for special programs in the development department. My responsibilities included planning the newly launched Rock-And-Run on the River, a 5K run/walk event, as well as supporting external organizations sponsoring fundraising events on behalf of the hospital. Six months into my new role, my boss began to criticize my work performance after previously lauding me for such great work. Her disdain for me seemed sudden and soon became unbearable. There were days when I would go into the bathroom, get on my hands and knees in the stall, and cry out to God for relief. While I was determined to avoid being bullied out of my job, I was desperate to know what Gods will was.

During this time I read Rick Warrens The Purpose Driven Life. The life-application questions in the book led me to discover that I loved encouraging and counseling others. These were areas of passion. I committed to spending time in prayer and fasting to hear Gods heart in the matter. In the months following, I had a feeling that I would be leaving my job even though I was not actively seeking employment elsewhere. I started cleaning up my work files. I even began taking home my personal belongings. Its hard to explain why I had this feeling.

In August 2007, I decided to take a few days off of work to seek God more intently in prayer. I had a strong sense that I was to wholly devote my life to the work of the Lord by working in a faith-based environment. I couldnt bear another day of going into the office without knowing what my next steps should be.

God met me in two powerful ways, beginning one Wednesday evening at my churchs prayer service. Pastor Lorna Brown, one of our elders and the wife of my senior pastor, Bishop Carlton T. Brown, spoke a prophetic word over the congregation. She said that someone present had accepted a job that this person shouldnt have accepted.

Her words pierced me. I immediately began to ask God if this word was directed at me. I spoke to Pastor Lorna after the service. When she asked how I came to obtain my job, I shared that a friend had referred me.

She looked at me in awe and said, I did not say all that the Lord spoke as I shared the prophetic word. God also said, She got the job through her friend.

I was floored! My friend had helped me land the job. Pastor Lorna cautioned me to avoid making a hasty decision about leaving my job without receiving a clear confirmation of Gods direction to do so.

The next day I went back to church for our noonday prayer service. Pastor Johnny Green led prayer this day. We went through the entire service and I did not hear any instruction from the Lord concerning my situation. I left church feeling discouraged. It was now Thursday, and I knew I had to return to work on the following day. As I walked to my car, I passed a senior citizens assisted-living building. A yellow piece of paper on the ground caught my eye. It was shaped like a prism, and I could see a large, green sticker on the front. I continued walking past the paper but then asked myself, Are you going to just walk past it? I turned back to pick up the paper, which read, Your faith instructions before bed tonight. I was floored again!

The first phrase on the paper was this: Receive this prophetic word from the Lord, followed by these verses of Scripture:

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.