Burpo - God is for real: and he longs to answer your most difficult questions

My life is messy. Which God do I need to fix my mess?

I m that small-town guy who is more comfortable getting my hands dirty working on a garage door than typing on this computer keyboard. I would also rather respond to an emergency pager or fire siren with my fellow firefighters than walk out on a stage to face a crowd of people.

When a family is crying together in pain or outrage at the hospital over the bed of a family member, I have a sense of belonging. It might be uncomfortable and painful, but something inside me says that I belong among the dirty situationsthe traumas and struggles of life. Its not just the sense of being needed or useful that takes me to those places. Its also a sense of understanding. Pain is the humbling equalizer of humanity. Rich or poor, healthy or sick, we all eventually experience it. One way or another, all our hands get dirty.

So, I work with people and get dirty. Not just that, I am dirty! I live there amid the emotions, pain, and questions that everyone else struggles with, too. Life is hard, and the quick, clean, Disney Worldstyle happily-ever-after solutions people throw around just downright offend me at times. This is especially true about the cheap, pat answers that come from some Christians. Its as if they live with a blind disconnect between this world and their faith world. Id rather we all be real about these things.

My journey has been difficult. Its been crooked. Sometimes I feel like Im moving in circles, not knowing how to get above lifes challenges and see the meaning of it all!

And then God.

Yep, just him. God has a way of stepping into my mess and bringing me what I could never grab ahold of by myself.

I know that some of my lifes story has been put on public display because of the book and movie Heaven Is for Real. Talk about awkward! Im guessing that God is still laughing at me as I squirm even now just thinking about it. I do have to say that I am still amazed at actor Greg Kinnears portrayal of me. I dont know how he observed me so quickly or if God gave him special help or both, but he showed my struggling fairly and downright realistically. The real Todd Burpo has issueslots of them.

If you are like me, you have wondered out loud about the source of lifes problems. Ive been crushed personally at times, seeing people deal with hurts far greater than my own. Because of them, I live with a sense of gratitude that my problems arent so bad in comparison.

So, what gives? Is it me? Or is it God? Or is it beyond me to even understand it all? But what do I do when God doesnt do what I thought he should have done?

When we were children, we all asked questions, lots of them. Being a parent reminds you of the awe of life as your little one starts asking for explanations and bounces with excitement at the next big thing life introduces to them. But now we are older, and lifes just not as innocent as it once was. We keep problems to ourselves because our questions are now harder to answer, and the answers themselves are harder to grasp.

These days, though, I dont just find children asking me hard questions; I have met people around the world asking me about the broken parts of their lives and wondering out loud if God is big enough to deal with the dirt and hurt they are facing. Or is he too distant even to care about their problems in the first place? They just dont know. I understand their pain. I have asked those same questions myself.

I carry the heartache of burying a loved one. I have the scars of betrayal from people I trusted as friends. I have been lied about, mocked, and schemed against. Where is God in my yesterday, my today, and my tomorrow? Where is he in all of this dirt and mess?

One thing Ive learned is to look for his presence in the pain. Instead of just trying to get an answer to make things make sense, I look for his presence in the stuff that doesnt make sense. If I look for him and am sensitive to it, I find him there in meaningful ways. Apparently, God gets his hands dirty just like I do.

Maybe thats why I feel I belong there in the dirt. God isnt afraid to be found there. I find him more ready and willing to respond to the broken and to the hard parts of peoples lives than in the neatness and the put-togetherness of a nice and pretty church service.

Could it be that God is so big, our dirt doesnt bother him as much as it bothers us? Could it be that God isnt as put off by my failures and questions as I think he is? And could it be that he even gently laughs at me when I get mad?

I remember what I used to say to my children during their tantrums: Are you done yet? I would remind them that I was the parent and they werent. Yes, I may have gotten angry with them at times. But not one of their fits ever threatened my love for them. Its just what the bigger person in a relationship does.

My friend Johns life was changed when he brought this bigger person of God into his life. His struggle was alcohol. It consumed him.

After years of brokenness, I saw John in a grocery store one day, and he was excited. He announced that he had found Christ and that everything was different. John remembers what I said to him that day even though I forgot it myself. I believe it was one of those moments when God just took over.