Arntz - How to suffer � in 10 easy steps: discover, embrace and own the mechanics of misery

Introduction

How to Suffer

You go into a book store, you surf around online, and there are books, articles and blogs on How To Everything . How to Write a Book, How to Fall in Love, How to Manifest your Dreams, How to Divorce, How to Clean your Teeth. But the one thing that is constant and always right around the corner Suffering has been woefully overlooked.

Yet Suffering is the 800-pound Gorilla in the room. Those above-mentioned books could be called: How to Write a Book, and Escape Suffering, How to Fall in Love and not be Suffering Loneliness, How to Manifest your Dreams and thereby alleviate Suffering, How to Divorce and really not Suffer. Not just books, but nearly everything we do is a strategy to eliminate suffering, while not dealing with it directly.

Think about it: thousands and thousands of How Tos out there and not one on the one thing that we all do, do everything to avoid, and has your name on its dance card.

Everyone suffers. Theres not one of us on this planet whether youre living the high life in the beautiful mountains around Montecito or struggling to survive from one moment to the next in a slum somewhere who isnt suffering in some way or other.

In this book, I hazard a theory. Every human being, either consciously and/or subconsciously, thinks/believes/feels, that: If I could create life according to my wishes, hopes and desires, I would not suffer.

Get the dream job, win the lottery, have your kids respect you, find your dream lover (the one that will adore you and never leave), be totally confident 24/7, eat voraciously without gaining weight, pick the next president hell, be the next president win the Kentucky Derby, become a Hollywood Mega-Someone The list is endless.

All this (and more) would create the perfect life. And living the perfectly delicious life of no suffering, youd be the perfect you!

Really?

You may know the story of the king who tried to keep his son in ultimate luxury in a pleasure palace with the most beautiful woman and servants attending to his every want, need and desire. Didnt work. The boy split and learned the truth. What truth? Life is suffering.

Meanwhile creating your reality the way you want continues to have an obvious appeal for pretty much everyone. With such omnipotence you could control your world and thus be free from all the nasty surprises that turn a good day into hell.

But does it really work that way?

My hypothesis is: it does not.

Look at the people who have achieved everything. Many seem miserable, often to the point, and beyond, of suicide. Personally, I can attest to the fact that scaling the mountain of money and success is good and all, but at the top, Im still me. I still get pissed when someone cuts me off in traffic. I still get sad when someone trashes my wife on Facebook. And I definitely become despondent when my body craps out in new and exciting ways.

The statement If I could create life according to my desires, I would not suffer is simply not true. You may suffer less, but as often recounted: desire itself causes suffering and there you are, back in bed with the Gorilla Suffering. And now youll have to deal with it.

Which is what we dont do.

Which is what this book is about.

So much of the self-help, self-improvement, self-discovery world has an implicit and lived happily ever after built into it. Get rich and live happily ever after. Win friends, influence people and live happily ever after. Discover your Unique Special Self, and live happily ever after. But were not going there. Were going to Suffering , up close and personal. Its obviously easy to suffer, we all do it. So theres the 10 Easy Steps to see how we do it, and have a jolly good laugh at our own foibles. And after that theres the 6 Slippery Steps on what to do when suffering pays you a visit.

Along the way theres great wisdom from our fellow sufferees; off-beat footnotes in the text I suffered to get them in (which of course you already know because you read it in the footnote); construction of your very own Sufferometer; and tales of freedom to instruct, inspire and enjoy.

Dont bypass them please I suffered greatly convincing everyone they were worth it.