Table of Contents
Our appointment with life
is in the present moment.
The place of our appointment
is right here, in this very place.
THICH NHAT HANH
Introduction
What Does It Mean to Live Alone?
The Sutra on Knowing the Better Way to Live Alone is called the Bhaddekaratta Sutta in Pali. It is number 131 in the Majjhima Nikaya. This important sutra is one of the oldest written teachings on how to live in the present moment.
Knowing how to live alone doesnt mean you have to live in solitude in a cave, separated from other people. If we sit alone in a cave, lost in our thinking, we arent really living alone. Living alone means living to have sovereignty over ourselves, to have the freedom that comes from not being dragged away by the past, not living in fear of the future, and not being pulled around by strong emotions caused by the circumstances of the present. When we are master of ourselves, we can grasp the situation as it is, and were in the best position to handle whatever may arise. When we dwell in mindfulness day and night, then we are truly practicing the better way to live alone. This is true whether we are surrounded by friends and family, or when we are living a solitary life.
If a doctor tells you, You have cancer and probably only have six months to live, you will likely feel completely overwhelmed. The fear, the idea that Im going to die in six months, can take away your peace and joy. Before the doctor told you about the cancer you could sit and enjoy your tea, eat your meal, or watch the moon, while now your fear takes away all your joy and freedom.
But the doctors words can be a bell of mindfulness. We all have six months left to live, or seven months, or ten years. If we can know and accept that death is something that comes to everybody, we will not suffer so much. The doctor who tells us we have six months left to live will also die. Maybe the doctor will die before us. We may be lucky to have six months to live. If we look deeply, we see things that we cant otherwise see. We can get back our freedom from fear and, with that freedom and non-fear, we may live those six months happily.
We are all equal as far as life and death are concerned. Everyone has to die. But before we die, can we live properly? If we live properly, the quality of our last six months can be higher than if we were to live six or sixty more years. If were caught in the fetters of suffering, our life doesnt have the same meaning it would if we lived in freedom. Knowing that we have to die, we can become determined to live our lives properly and deeply. If were not able to live with peace, joy, and freedom, then we live as if were already dead.
In the Sutra on Knowing the Better Way to Live Alone, the Buddha teaches that we must struggle to get back our freedom, to be able to live the moments of our daily life deeply. If in the moments of our daily life we can have peace and joy, then we can heal the suffering we have in our bodies and our minds. Living deeply in each moment of our life we can be in touch with the wonderful things of life; we can nourish our body and mind with these wonderful elements, and we can embrace and transform our suffering. To live each day of our life deeply is to live a life of wonder, nourishment, and healing. Living like this we can revive our freedom, experience life deeply, give rise to the truth, and have awakened understanding. Our fears, anxieties, sufferings, and sadness will evaporate, and we will become a source of joy and life for ourselves and those around us.
LIVING ALONE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
There are people who cant see the happiness of the present and think that life was more beautiful in the past. Many of us are caught in this way of thinking. The past is no longer there, but we compare it with the present. Even when we were living those moments in the past we didnt really value them at the time, because in the past we also werent able to live in the present moment.
There are other people who pursue the past because the past made them suffer. We have all suffered in the past, and those heavy wounds are calling us back: Come back to the past. You cannot escape me. We can become like sheep running back to the past for it to enclose and imprison us, and make us suffer.
Sometimes when were sitting with a friend, we can feel abandoned by that friend, because our friend is drowning in the past. He is sitting next to us, but hes not really there. Suppose we find a way to free our friend from the past. We might ask him what he is thinking, or touch him gently in some way to remind him of the present moment. Then our friend may wake up and smile, and be free from the prison of the past.
Sometimes we dont want to go back into the past, but the past grabs hold of us and pulls us back. We have to look directly into the past, smile at it and say, You can no longer oppress me. I am free of you. The past is just a ghost. We know that the past is a ghost, but we allow the ghost to imprison us.
Some of us run to pursue the future. But the future is another ghost. Why are we afraid of the future? Fear comes from our worry that this or that will or wont happen tomorrow. But the future is something that is not yet here. The future is never here. Once its here, its the present.
When we live with a ghost were not living alone, were living with another. We eat a meal, but we have the ghost sitting alongside us. When we see a friend sitting with a ghost we can say, Who are you sitting with? and perhaps that person will wake up. Its not just the ghosts of the past and the future that like to sit with us. In the present we have infatuations, attachments, feelings of sadness, and projects that take us away from the joy of the present moment. When we live with these things, we are not living alone; we are living with ghosts.
The ghosts of the past and the future take away a lot of our freedom. We can become their slaves. They follow us and condition our life, and order us about. But if we know how to deal with them, we will never fall under their influence. We only have to smile at them. We only need to breathe and come back to our awareness of the present moment and say, Oh, I know you are a ghost.
Being aware in the present moment does not preclude our thinking about the past or the future. But we must still dwell in the present moment whenever we look deeply into the past or the future, so that we can be aware of any fear or sadness without being overwhelmed by it. According to the teachings of interbeing, the past makes the present, and the present makes the future. Being in touch with the present, we are already in touch with the past and the future.
Were caught by the ghosts of the past and the future because we dont know theyre ghosts. We think the past is still right here with us, and we dwell in it. But if we can smile to the ghost of the past, and acknowledge that the past was there, but that now it is gone, then we can have the smile of enlightenment. When we smile like that, it shows we have love for ourselves. We know the past and the future are not our enemies. We know how to live in this moment we are in right now. We need to live our daily moments deeply, as they occur. When we live and know that we are living, this is freedom.
The Sutras
