Chris Young - Walk a Mile: Tales of a Wandering Loon

Adam Shaw, a mental illness survivor and mental health advocate, and Lauren Callaghan, an industry-leading clinical psychologist, are the founders of the global mental health publishing enterprise, Pullingthetrigger. With their TV appearances and global education programmes, Adam, Lauren and their amazing team are helping more people around the world understand, recover from, and talk about their mental health issues.

The Pullingthetrigger range user-friendly self-help books with an innovative approach to supporting people recovering from mental health issues.

TheinspirationalseriesTM remarkable, real-life stories of men and women who have overcome mental illness to lead fulfilling lives.

Why have we called our booksPullingthetrigger?

Many things can trigger mental health issues. So what do you do if something makes you feel bad? You stay away from it, right?

I bet youve been avoiding your triggers all your life. But now we know that avoiding them only makes things worse. So heres the game changer: you need to learn how to pull those triggers instead of running away from them and our Pullingthetrigger series shows you how. Your recovery is within reach, we promise.

This is more than recovery, its a way of life.

Adam Shaw & Lauren Callaghan.

First published in Great Britain 2017 by Trigger Press

Trigger Press is a trading style of Shaw Callaghan Ltd & Shaw Callaghan 23 USA, INC.

The Foundation Centre
Navigation House, 48 Millgate, Newark
Nottinghamshire NG24 4TS UK

www.trigger-press.com

Copyright Chris Young 2017

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission in writing from the publisher

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available upon request from the British Library

ISBN: 978-1-911246-53-4

This book is also available in the following e-Book formats:

MOBI: 978-1-911246-56-5

EPUB: 978-1-911246-54-1

PDF: 978-1-911246-55-8

Chris Young has asserted his right under the Copyright, Design and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work

Cover design and typeset by Fusion Graphic Design Ltd

Project Management by Out of House Publishing

Printed and bound in Great Britain by Bell & Bain, Glasgow

Paper from responsible sources

Thank you for purchasing this book.
You are making an incredible difference.

All of TheinspirationalseriesTM products have substantial enterprising and philanthropic value and generate proceeds that contribute towards our global mental health charity,
The Shaw Mind Foundation

MISSION STATEMENT

We aim to bring to an end the suffering and despair caused by mental health issues. Our goal is to make help and support available for every single person in society, from all walks of life. We will never stop offering hope. These are our promises.
Pulling the Trigger and The Shaw Mind Foundation

The Shaw Mind Foundation (www.shawmindfoundation.org) offers unconditional support for all who are affected by mental health issues. We are a global foundation that is not for profit. Our core ethos is to help those with mental health issues and their families at the point of need. We also continue to run and invest in mental health treatment approaches in local communities around the globe, which support those from the most vulnerable and socially deprived areas of society. Please join us and help us make an incredible difference to those who are suffering with mental health issues. #letsdostuff.

This book is dedicated to my lovely wife, Ella.
And to Ben and Kate whenever they need me.

Trigger Warning: The book contains references to attempted suicide, dissociation, and very graphic self-harm.

Disclaimer: Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

CHAPTER 1

LIVING ON THE BORDERLINE

I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in January 2008. At this time, I was a middle manager in a local authority. This is the story of my gradual transition from gamekeeper to poacher.

Had I been waiting for some manner of surgery or medical intervention, then my treatment in line with department of health directives would have started within 18 weeks. However, since I have a mental health problem, the time between referral and treatment is not dictated by any such directives. Psychiatric waiting lists are locally managed with no clear guidelines to ensure consistency or equity of care.

So what do you think Ive got? I was terribly earnest. This diagnosis had been a long time in the making.

I dont like labelling people, Dr Brown, my psychiatrist, was just as intense.

But if you were to give me a label?

Well then, Mr Young, Id have to say you display many of the traits of borderline personality disorder.

Had I been one of my less knowledgeable colleagues or a member of the general public I might have thought, Oh, thats all right then Ive nearly got a personality disorder, or, borderline personality disorder, what the hells that?

That, however, was not the case.

The latest version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), which is used by the American Psychiatric Association, describes BPD as a cluster of symptoms. If a patient displays five or more of these then they can receive the diagnosis:

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. [Not including suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5.]

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. promiscuous sex, eating disorders, binge eating, substance abuse, reckless driving). [Again, not including suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5.]

5. Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, threats, or self-mutilating behaviour such as cutting, interfering with the healing of scars (excoriation) or picking at oneself.

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g. intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness, worthlessness.