Jack S. Deere - Surprised by the voice of God: how God speaks today through prophecies, dreams, and visions

H e sat there before me, the ideal image of the all-American boy. Robert was young, handsome, intelligent, impeccably dressed in a suit and tie, and spiritual. He was an elected leader of his seminary class, headed for a promising pastoral career. He was also in the bondage of a terrible, merciless evil he had hidden from everyone, for he knew if he shared his darkness with anyone, he would be immediately and irrevocably ruined.

So for years Robert lived the life of a religious hypocrite. The irony was that he didnt want to be a hypocrite, and he didnt really want to sin. Although he hadnt confessed his sin to any leader, he had tried all of the spiritual prescriptions his religious teachers had given him through the years, but they never seemed to work for him. He was trapped. He felt utterly condemned and hopeless.

It was amazing how well he had hidden it allthe sin, the guilt, the condemnation, the hopelessness. Years of practice had taught him how to attend church and prayer meetingseven how to conduct religious services and write theological paperswithout betraying the state of his soul. He was convinced no one would ever know. No one could ever know.

But Robert was wrong. Someone did know, and in spite of this knowledge, he loved Robert. He loved Robert even though Robert had long since lost the capacity to feel that love in any meaningful way. Roberts only hope lay in that love, and in the sudden exposure of his private darkness, an exposure the mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ was about to grant him. Evil becomes impotent in the presence of the mercy of the Savior. Unwittingly, almost comically, Robert was poised to fall into the limitless mercy of Gods Son. Like the woman at the well, he was about to be surprised by the voice of God. And so was I.

It began earlier that afternoon while I was sitting at my desk in my seminary office pondering what was wrong with contemporary theological education. A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts. Robert pushed his face through the door and asked if he could have just a minute of my timewhich translated usually means, I am here to take up the rest of your afternoon if you will give me the slightest encouragement.

I was Roberts Hebrew professor, and Robert had come to my office to ask for mercy for a late assignment. He began to offer a long and unnecessary excuse for his tardy workunnecessary because, in my way of thinking, seminary students already had enough pressure on them without professors demanding everything be handed in on time; I had already decided to accept the late assignment. Wishing to appear courteous, I patiently listened to the superfluous explanation.

Thats when it happened, something I had never experienced before. Or if I had experienced it, I certainly didnt remember it. As I was listening to Robert, he faded away and in his place I saw the word PORNOGRAPHY in large, capital, block letters. What is happening to me? I thought. There is no way this student is into pornography. I must be making this up. But why would I make up something I thought to be an impossibility?

I realized I was having what some believers call a word of knowledge. It wasnt intuition; knowledge about Robert was being given to me by the Spirit of God. He was the last student I would have suspected of being addicted to pornography. Yet now I was sure, well almost sure, he was under its power.

For months, I had been praying for God to speak to me like this, asking him to impart to me supernatural knowledge about people so that I might minister to them more effectively. For months, I had been longing to experience the supernatural ministry of Jesus. Now at last it was finally beginning to happen. God was telling me supernaturally about the sin of one of my students.

All I needed to do was confront Robert so he could confess his sin and be forgiven. It seemed simple, but what if it wasnt that simple? What if Robert denied he had any attraction to pornography? Worse, I could just see myself bungling the confrontation so badly that Robert would leave my office in anger and tell other students, Dont go into Professor Deeres office, the guys a pervert hung up on pornography. Worse still, what if news of such a bungled confrontation reached the presidents office? What if he called me into his office and asked, Did you accuse one of our students of an addiction to pornography? I would be forced to admit that I had. I could just hear the president saying, On what basis did you make this accusation?

Uh, a vision.

A what?

Well, er, uh, a kind of vision, you know.

You had a vision!

In my circles, in those days, visions werent exactly in vogue. In fact, having a vision could have been grounds for dismissal, or at least a trip to the faculty psychiatrists office. As these cold realities began to settle on me, my enthusiasm for my newly found word of knowledge ministry began to sputter.

Was it really worth the risk? Was it worth being humiliated? I decided not to say anything. Yet, I had been praying for months for God to speak to me like this. A harsh legalistic thought entered my mind. If this is God speaking to me and I dont say anything to Robert, God may never speak to me like this again. It seemed like, one way or another, I was going to offend someone. Whom would I offend, man or God? Not really a difficult choice, unless you are in that embarrassing position. I decided to obey Godat least sort of.

I took a weak stab at confronting Robert by interrupting his excuse for his late assignment and asking, Excuse me, but have you been struggling with anything lately?

No, not at all. Why do you ask? came the confident reply.

Oh, no reason reallyanyway, what were you saying? That was as much risk as I was going to take that day for God and my fledgling word of knowledge ministry. As soon as I made the decision not to say any more to Robert, the vision came back. This time the word pornography started blinking on and off. Sounds crazy, doesnt it? I was beginning to think so myself. On the other hand, maybe God was letting me know he was really serious about this confrontation. There was only one way to find out.

I interrupted Robert again, Are you sure you dont have any guilt you havent been able to get rid of?

No, he replied. This time he looked offended. Why are you saying this? Why are you asking me this?

I apologized, saying that I wasnt really sure why I was asking. I decided to shut up and just listen. But the word came back! I wondered if this was going to be like the blood on Macbeths hands, the spot that wouldnt go away until he finally made his confession. My last thought was, This had better be worth the risk. I looked Robert straight in the eyes and blurted out, Are you into pornography?

When I looked into his eyes, I knew two things. First, he was into pornography. Second, he was going to deny it. Wait a minute, I said. Before you say anything, let me tell you something. Since you have been sitting in my office, I think God has been telling me you are into pornography. If you are, I will never tell anyone your name, and I will not get you dismissed from seminary or your church because of this. And finally, I think the Lord has been telling me this because he wants to set you free. And he wants to start today.

Robert was stunned. He turned his eyes away and hung his head. I was, he confessed.

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