Ellis Jon - I Wrote This For You and Only You

Also available from Central Avenue Publishing
in the I Wrote This For You Series: I Wrote This For You
The first collection of photography and prose
from I Wrote This For You. I Wrote This For You: Just The Words
An expanded collection of the prose and poetry
from I Wrote This For You. I WROTE THIS FOR YOU AND ONLY YOU pleasefindthis 2015 CENTRAL AVENUE PUBLISHING EDITION Copyright 2015 Central Avenue Publishing All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author and photographer except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. This edition is published by arrangement with the author and photographer, contact at Central Avenue Publishing - www.centralavenuepublishing.com First printing published by Central Avenue Publishing,
a division of Central Avenue Marketing Ltd. I WROTE THIS FOR YOU AND ONLY YOU ISBN 978-1-77168-027-1 (pbk) ISBN 978-1-77168-028-8 (ebk) 1. POETRY / Subjects & Themes - General 2. PHOTOGRAPHY / Subjects & Themes - General Published in Canada.

Printed in the United States of America. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. All Photography: Copyright Jon Ellis Dear You,Thank you for finding this book, I assure you it has been lost, and looking for you, for far too long.As you hold it now, is how I held it before it left my hands.All Im trying to say still echoes through these pages.Thank you for reading and for hearing.Wherever this finds you, I hope it finds you well.- Me THE STARS LOOK LIKE DROPS OF WHITE PAINT I know you might think that youre just sitting there, looking at some random book, reading some stupid words and maybe the world has told you who you are for so long that youve started to believe it. But, please, remember that youre so much more than this. THE TIME YOU NEARLY DIED WHEN YOU WERE STILL OLDER As you fell, you begged the air for just a little more time, for a second chance to do all the things youd always meant to do. THE TIME YOU NEARLY DIED WHEN YOU WERE STILL OLDER As you fell, you begged the air for just a little more time, for a second chance to do all the things youd always meant to do.

So here it is. Youll remember nothing of what happened. Youll feel exactly the same. Youll find yourself back in front of this book, reading the same words on the same page that started it all so many years ago. And only the words in this sentence have changed. And this is a little more time.

And this is your second chance. And it starts: Now. THE SILVER ASTROLABE Remember, Theres a map beneath your skin and all your veins are rivers, theres directions and instructions written in secret on your bones, theres a star you cant see that shines in a North youll never know. And a secret current, beneath the waves, that carries you to the end of you. THE ILLUSION OF THINGS NEVER CHANGING You think, This is life, this is just how it is and how itll always be. But you are living through something.

And while, logically, you must know that there was a time before now, when things were different, and that there will be a time after now, and things will change, its so hard to remember right now: Everything will change. You are alive in a memory. You, are once upon a time. THE DREAMS ON THE LINE I chased my dreams until I caught them. I chased my thoughts until I stopped thinking. THE ANXIETY INHERENT IN AIR If you must know, this is what Im scared of. THE ANXIETY INHERENT IN AIR If you must know, this is what Im scared of.

Im scared that everyone else is more who they are than I am who I am. I think everyone else just looks at the things they feel or think and says, Of course this is what I feel or think, this is who I am. But I am never sure of what I feel or think. And Im scared because Im holding all the things I could feel or think on a boat that the slightest breeze could tip over and if that happens, I will fall with all of it into the water. I am scared I will be left with nothing and no idea who I am. THE NATURE OF SCIENCE I have theories about what it takes to talk to you again. THE NATURE OF SCIENCE I have theories about what it takes to talk to you again.

I have theories about what normal is supposed to feel like. I have theories about how many times a heart can be heard. Just theories. THE REMINDER OF THE THING YOU SAID YOUD DO Try and remember what you said youd do and why you said youd do it. Forget what you think other people want the thing you said youd do to be. The thing you said youd do should only be what you want the thing you said youd do to be.

If the thing you said youd do makes other people happy, thats great but dont say things or do things just to make them happy. Find new ways to do the thing you said youd do that dont change the meaning of what you said youd do. Have the purest of intentions for what you said youd do and do it bravely. If the thing you said youd do becomes successful, continue to act and think like it is unsuccessful, otherwise youll spend your time worrying that it might become unsuccessful. If you said youd involve people in the thing you said youd do, listen to them when they say what they think you should do. If you said youd do the thing you said youd do alone, then go boldly into the wilderness and may your own soul be company enough, while you do the thing you said youd do.

Do right by the thing you said youd do. Tend to it and love it. By trying to remember what you said youd do and the reason why you said youd do it. THE REFLECTION IN SHOP WINDOWS If you live in your head for too long, you run the risk of becoming your own secret.