Feinberg - Hungry for God: hearing Gods voice in the ordinary and the everyday

For three days no grilled skirt steak, fresh guacamole, homemade salsa, or slices of lime. Instead I ask God a question:

What does it mean to hunger for you?

My stomach mumbles and grumbles, refusing to let me forget that I havent eaten solid food for nearly seventy-two hours. The sacrifice hasnt been easy. Some people need to remind themselves to eat; I have to remind myself to stop eating. I count Rachael, Paula, and Emeril from the Food Network as friends, and Iron Chef among my favorite shows.

Though fasts have always been difficult for me, this one has been especially laborious. The first day I had sharp pains and constant discomfort. My mind was foggy, my responsiveness slow. Worse, anyone unlucky enough to stray into my path became a target for grumpiness. The second day, the condition of my body, mind, and temperament was slightly improved though everyone I encountered was still fair game.

Today is different. Ive made peace with the hollow companion in my stomach, the sudden twinges of belly pain replaced by a dull ache. While Im still grumpy, I hold my tongue: its me, not you.

With the discomfort subsiding, Ive welcomed a sense of clarity. Colors are more vibrant, details more refined. Thoughts meander rather than scamper away. Reflecting on God and offering up a prayer feels natural, almost effortless.

Why dont I fast more often? I wonder. Then I remember the first two days, and how much I miss my foodie friends.

I dont know anything about real hunger. While billions suffer in starvation and poverty, I live behind the plush curtain. Yet hunger is woven into the fabric of our humanness no matter where we live. Appetite is a primitive desire that doesnt discriminate; every human has felt its pangs. Without an appetite, we slip into starvation and even death. Hunger is the gnawing reminder that in order to have strength, we must have sustenance.

As Ive thought and prayed during this time, Ive wondered if the ache I feel inside parallels what it means to have a divine appetite for God. If physical hunger is a set of feelings that leads a person to search for food, then spiritual hunger is a set of experiences and longings that compels a person to search for God. Just as my body needs food to survive, my spirit needs God to thrive. A divine appetite drives me to pursue a vibrant relationship with God one in which I find my sustenance and strength.

Our spiritual appetites can be quelled only by God. But is it possible to dine on an intangible being? How do we feast upon something we cannot see, touch, or taste? Over the last several years, Ive learned that Gods voice is the only entre that can nourish our ethereal cravings. Hearing and experiencing, rather than eating, assuages spiritual hunger.

My spiritual hunger grumbles loudest when I feel furthest from God. Though I cling to the assertion that God is everywhere and promises to never leave or forsake us, Ive spent days, weeks, even months wondering, Are you there God? Its me, Margaret.

I long for a single word to appease my spiritual belly. When the silence finally breaks, the sound of Gods voice is a banquet for my soul every syllable a tasty morsel, every expression flavored with love.

Longing to know him.

Longing to experience him.

Longing to hear him.

Is that what it means to hunger for God?

These are some of the foundational longings of my heart, but like most Ive tried to satiate the desire for God by stuffing myself with carbohydrates and comfort, entertainment and distraction, activity and productivity anything to fill the void. A thousand times over Ive discovered that these things dont satisfy.

Maybe thats why I keep returning to this issue of hungering for God. More than a decade ago, a friend gave me the opportunity to publish my first book. Though I considered submitting a dozen different ideas, I decided to explore what it looks like to pursue God and hear his voice. In some ways, Ive never stopped mining these themes, as evidenced in The Organic God, The Sacred Echo, and Scouting the Divine. I hope I never do.

I wrote God Whispers: Learning to Hear His Voice exploring the belief that as followers of Jesus, we are wired to hear and respond to the voice of God in our lives. Instead of shouting, God takes a subtle, gentle approach to communicating with us. Instead of filling the solar system with Star Wars presentations, carving words in tree bark, or dropping parchment from the sky, God whispers in order to draw us closer. While God can reveal himself through a trumpeting angel descending from the sky, the presence of the divine often greets us in the mundane, in the midst of our workday routines and everyday circumstances.