Further praise for
Happiness in a Storm
Dr. Harpham mixes practical advice with a deep concern for each and every Healthy Survivor. She brings all her firsthand experience as doctor, patient, and very Healthy Survivor to bear on the most essential of human valuesthe pursuit of happiness. This book is a great asset to allpatient, caregiver, and physician interested in navigating the course to Healthy Survivorship.
Leonard Zwelling, MD, MBA, vice president of research administration, MD Anderson Cancer Center
This book pulses with the fervent heart and knowledge that its author brings as both patient and physician. The joy that Wendy Harpham has found in learning to live with cancer, whatever the outcome, is illuminated by a cogent argument for hope that is the most compelling I have ever encountered.
Joanna Bull, MA, founder, Gildas Club Worldwide
Wendy Harpham has written a wonderful book. Her understanding of the impact of serious illness on peoplehow it changes lives, relationships, perspective on the world, thinking and feeling, and just about everything elseis nothing less than extraordinary. The advice she gives about what patients should do about their care and themselves is practical, solid, and, above all, useful. On top of that, she is a wise, knowledgeable, upbeat, and caring woman, and that shines through on every page. Her book is must reading for people and families threatened by serious disease. It is just as valuable for physicians, nurses, and other caregivers who will find it very helpful and more than worth their time.
Eric J. Cassell, MD, MACP, clinical professor of public health, Weill Medical College of Cornell University
Wendy Schlessel Harphams important new book, Happiness in a Storm , is frank, realistic, scientific, and up-to-date, but most important it will be helpfuleven to people who say they have lost hope for a fulfilling life after a serious illness. Healthy survivorship is an art, Dr. Harpham writes, and like all art you wont find an absolute right or wrong way to do it. With Happiness in a Storm , Wendy Schlessel Harpham has turned the How-To book into an art form.
Natalie Robins, author of A Cancer Journal
Happiness in a Storm is a warm, knowledgeable, and personal exploration of living with illness. Dr. Harpham presents wise and clear advice about riding the emotional roller coaster that is life with illness. She teaches how to hope for the best but prepare for the worst, respect your emotions and learn from them. Her book is heartwarming because she shows how she faces sadness and uncertainty while celebrating her sons home runs and her husbands love for her. Dr. Harpham makes the phrase tears of joy understandable.
David Spiegel, MD, Willson Professor and medical director, Center for Integrative Medicine, Stanford University, and author of Living Beyond Limits
As I read Wendy Harphams Happiness in a Storm , I felt as though she were walking beside me, encouraging, appreciating, and informing me on how to undertake the journey through cancer-land with all my courage and optimism in hand. She covers all aspects of the experience from the practical and medical through the emotional and spiritual. Everyone facing illness would do well to read this book.
Susan P. Halpern, MSW, author of The Etiquette of Illness: What to Say When You Cant Find the Words
Happiness in a Storm gives us just what we need to face illness with knowledge, action, and hope. Rarely do we get perspective from a physician who is not only a medical expert but also a survivor with a compassionate, resilient soul. Thanks to Wendy Harpham, we now have a book filled with practical tips and medical guidance with inspiration woven throughout. Its one of those books we will carry with us everywhere. Thanks to Wendy for guiding us to face illness and remember lifes joys available to each of us in any storm.
Jackie Waldman, author of The Courage to Give series
Dr. Wendy Harphams writings tell it all as to the kind of person/doctor she is. Hope is sometimes all we have to keep us going. Many thanks to Wendy.
Kathleen Williams, CMA, CST, survivor of ruptured brain aneurysm
A jewel of a book and a gift to all who are confronting a serious illness. Wendy Schlessel Harpham draws on her personal experience as a physician and cancer survivor to offer empowering words of wisdom, inspiration, and hope to others who are living through cancer. Dr. Harphams resilience and generosity of spirit are truly awe-inspiring.
JoAnn E. Manson, MD, DrPH, chief, Division of Preventive Medicine, Brigham and Womens Hospital; professor of medicine, Harvard Medical School
happiness in a storm
Also by Wendy Schlessel Harpham, MD
Diagnosis: Cancer:
Your Guide to the First Months of Healthy Survivorship
After Cancer:
A Guide to Your New Life
When a Parent Has Cancer:
A Guide to Caring for Your Children,
with the illustrated childrens book,
Becky and the Worry Cup
The Hope Tree: Kids Talk about Breast Cancer
co-authored with Laura Numeroff
happiness in a storm
Facing Illness and Embracing Life as a Healthy Survivor
Wendy Schlessel Harpham, MD
W. W. Norton & Company
New York London
Our knowledge about illness and healing is constantly changing. This book is not intended as a substitute for competent medical care. It serves to supplement the information provided by your doctors and nurses.
While the incidents in this book are true, I have changed particulars or peoples names, or occasionally created composites to protect privacy.
Copyright 2005 by Wendy Schlessel Harpham
All rights reserved
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Harpham, Wendy Schlessel.
Happiness in a storm: facing illness and embracing life as a healthy survivor / Wendy Schlessel Harpham.1st ed.
p. cm.
ISBN: 978-0-393-07759-9
1. SickAttitudes. 2. SickPsychology. 3. Chronically illAttitudes. 4. Chronic diseasesPsychological aspects. 5. Happiness. I. Title.
R726.5.H37 2005
155.9'16dc22
2005011983
W. W. Norton & Company, Inc., 500 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10110
www.wwnorton.com
W. W. Norton & Company Ltd., Castle House, 75/76 Wells Street, London W1T 3QT
To the researchers and clinicians who are dedicated
to helping patients become Healthy Survivors.
To the researchers and clinicians
who saved my life and cared for me.
The sea, like life itself, is a stern taskmaker. The best way to get along with either is to learn all you can, then do your best and dont worry, especially about things over which you have no control.
Admiral Chester William Nimitz, quoting his grandfather in E. B. Potters Nimitz
Acknowledgments
One of my greatest joys as a writer is receiving candid comments on my manuscripts. Without this critical feedback from my select group of readers, how could I know if my meaning is clear, tone is comforting, or message is helpful to others?
My most dedicated and valuable reader is my husband. Thank you, Ted, for seven and a half years of listening to me work my way through the challenges of presenting medical information and my approach to survivorship. Thank you for reading innumerable drafts when the very last thing you wanted to think about was illness and healing. Most of all, thank you for twenty-five years (and counting) of happily ever after, loving me the way you do, in sickness and in health.
Thank you James F. Strauss, MD, my oncologist, and Leonard Zwelling, MD, MBA, for reviewing and discussing chapters 2 and 6. Since closing my practice, I treasure any opportunity to talk about (and argue about) medical matters and their presentation to patients.