Marc Leavitt - 幕后: 一位觉者的实修日记 = Enlightenment: behind the scenes;一位觉者的实修日记

Reality Publishers

PO Box 143

Roseland, VA 22967

Copyright 2012 by Marc Leavitt

ISBN: 978-0-9881736-9-9

Cover Design: Marc Leavitt

Cover Art: Mark Martel (MartelArt.com)

Interior Art Design: Marc Leavitt

Interior Art: Mark Martel

Editor: Jeff Palley (jeffpalley@gmail.com)

eBook Conversion: Ebook Perfection (Jeff Palley)

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Is it possible to map the directions to a Void? Is it conceivable that one can point to the abyss? Just maybe, it can be done, and here is how I propose to do it.

It starts with the recounting of my personal quest for Spiritual Enlightenment, which can also serve as a roadmap for any human being who takes the spiritual journey seriously.

This story centers on the peak period of my spiritual journey just after returning home from a weeklong meditation retreat at the world renowned Monroe Institute. I had been home less than a week after attending one of their advanced programs when, without warning, I began to have profound Visions while living out my day-to-day life. I could be taking a walk with my wife and daughter or going about my daily routine at work when I would find myself spontaneously thrust into a vastly more expansive perspective that placed my entire world in a wholly new context. These Visions were progressive in nature as they clearly and pointedly demonstrated to me the Grand Design of Reality.

Some of these Visions were existentially devastating and some were downright terrifying, as they exposed the true nature of the self. Others were so blissful that they could only be tolerated for brief moments. Ultimately, they coalesced to reveal a model of Reality that is as elegant in its simplicity as it is mind-numbing in its implications. In this book, I outline a play-by-play account of how four of these Visions shaped a new understanding regarding the true architecture of Reality and how this understanding resolves some of our greatest philosophical paradoxes, such as the relationship between mind and matter or God and the world. Given the universal nature of these experiences, there are opportunities throughout the book for you to verify each truth for yourself.

I wrote this book to demystify the subject of Enlightenment. There are already many excellent books on the subject of Enlightenment otherwise known as Nondual Wisdom. However, what is missing is a book that chronicles the day-to-day, month-to-month, and year-to-year unfolding of the Self in detail. This book is a very personal account of an incredibly impersonal process, broken down step by step and presented almost in slow motion. The reader is invited on a journey that chronicles each step along the path to Enlightenment. The details of the climactic experience itself and the final understanding that results from undergoing such a radical and permanent shift in perspective is where I intend to lead you.

It is also my hope that this book will demonstrate how the experience of Enlightenment is not something mythical a fable belonging to some other time or place but an actual shift in perspective that is available right here and now to anyone who is curious enough to explore the true nature of being. I speak to you from the point of view that we all share the human experience and when we explore the depths of our minds we find that the same treasure awaits us all. The fact that I am a husband and father with a full-time career stands as proof that you dont have to choose between a worldly life and Enlightenment.

Throughout the book, you are offered a number of opportunities to verify for yourself some of the subject matter as its being discussed. To be true to my story, I rely mostly on my personal journals, which are individually dated and appear in italics, while my current narration appear in normal type. And so it begins

I could have begun this story at several different times of my life but it makes most sense to begin with the day that I finally gave up

Journal Entry: May 31, 2001

Wherever I was at that moment, it was the end of the road for me. No more aspirations. No more plans. No more security. Not looking for any changes or modifications to my life, I just came to rest in what I already was. It was the single most satisfying and natural feeling I have ever experienced. It was like a complete retirement from the game of life. I had been a spiritual seeker for over ten years and the seeking ended at that moment.

I discovered in myself something that I call the last desire. The last desire is to desire nothing. I had spent my whole life waiting for something else and now I was done waiting. Now I am 31 years old and have pretty much retired. I still go to the hospital and run sleep studies but I am doing so in my retirement. We have a wonderful arrangement. I share my time at the sleep lab and they share money for food and whatnot. I am not working to attain anything anymore.

Since this discovery of my last desire, I have noticed that I seem to be dying in some quiet way. A big piece of me has already died. It is quite apparent and I can tell that as long as I continue in my practice, I will continue to die. And now that this is becoming clear, I realize that this is all I ever wanted. I would go so far as to say it is the only thing anyone has ever wanted.

Looking back on those words now, a full decade after that particular moment of surrender, I find myself thinking; anyone who reads this is gonna think Im suicidal or depressed at the very best. But the truth is that this was probably the best time of my life, perhaps the very peak. I was happily married, with a daughter that my wife and I both enjoyed spoiling with our time and hearts. I had a great job working at the sleep lab which suited me in just about every way. We had just fulfilled our fantasy by moving out of the city into the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains just outside of Charlottesville, Virginia. Most important, this was also the period when my wife and I were at our peak in terms of our mutual spiritual seeking.