Muehlhoff - I beg to differ: navigating difficult conversations with truth and love

The New Testament is relentless when it comes to unity. Jesus clearly calls his followers to communities released of contempt and angerresolute in selfless devotion to the good of the other, even when the other is an enemy. And the model for the kind of unity he envisages for his disciples is none other than that found in the relationships between members of the Holy Trinity. The apostle Paul implores the church at Corinth to pursue a division-free and perfect unity of mind and judgment. The Ephesians are likewise called up into a life of loving, gentle and patient bearing of one with the other. The vision is clear. As followers of Jesus and his way, were to find our way increasingly out of dissension and into loving unity with each other.

But how?

Here, as in other areas of deep human significance, God has elected to create for his children space for the joy of discovery. If were to take seriously the injunction to pursue unity in our relationships, we must avail ourselves of the penetrating and life-giving wisdom that comes to us from the best reflections on human relatedness. We do well, then, to consider the study of communication as an accumulated body of wisdom and knowledge about how to progress toward the lofty biblical vision of unity.

As is always the case when availing oneself of an unfamiliar body of wisdom and knowledge, a guide is essential. Here is where this book comes in. Muehlhoff has given us an informed and accessible introduction to the art and science of communication in difficult situations. This book distills the theory of successful communication and offers the reader practical guidance for its application. The honest reader will frequently recognize herself in the difficult situations addressed in the book and will find in its pages practical suggestions for making progress.

Perhaps most importantly, one will find on these pages advice from an informed guide who practices what he preaches. I have found my way into disagreement with Tim on matters about which we both have passionate conviction. And Ive seen the wisdom of this book transform those potentially divisive conversations into opportunities for mutual learning and growth.

My prayer is that you too will find your way into fruitful conversation in the context of disagreement and, in so doing, will find your way further up and further into the New Testament vision of unity.

Gregg Ten Elshof

Director, Center for Christian Thought, Biola University

Author, I Told Me So: The Role of Self-Deception in Christian Living