Nozedar - Freaky dreams: an A-Z of the weirdest and wackiest dreams and what they really mean

When I started researching this book, I asked people to tell me about their dreams; specifically, I was after the weirdest, the freakiest, the most disjointed examples, the ones that really do defy analysis. And the two-line quote above, was possibly one of the oddest.

It seems odd because its so normal.

After all, its in the nature of a dream that its weird and freaky. If youre describing a dream to someone, is it likely that youd ever say, Oh my, Ive got to tell you about the REALLY NORMAL dream I had last night!? Nope!

Despite centuries of research thats still continuing, theres still so much about dreams, and indeed sleep, which remains a mystery.

Mankind has traveled into the deepest depths of the oceans. Weve set foot on the moon. Weve sent probes to pick up pebbles from Mars, and weve taken photographs in the unfathomable vastness of space. And yet we still dont know quite what happens, or where we go to, every night when we toddle off to bed, close our eyes, and sleep.

For example, heres something thats very puzzling.

If youve ever watched someone sleeping, you might have noticed their eyeballs moving swiftly back and forth under the lids. This is called Rapid Eye Movement (REM), and it happens when the sleeper is dreaming. Dreams are our way of processing the events of the day, incidents in our lives, and all sorts of physical and philosophical phenomena.

The duck-billed platypus, of all animals on earth, shows the most extreme incidence of REM.

What is the platypus processing? What sort of anxieties could exist in that little platypus mind? Well never know. Another mystery. In fact, to be fair, scientists arent even certain that the platypus is even dreaming.

BUT WHAT IF IT IS?

The great thing about dreams is that anything can happen, any kind of surreal scenario is allowed to play out, no holds barred. In your dream world, you can be a superhero or a god, an animal, a tramp, a teapot. Dreams allow us to tap into an internal imaginary world that is as vast as that external universe that the space probes poke around in. The possibility of a fabulous dream is enough to make bedtime seem like a really fun proposition.

Were presupposing that you already know how to sleep, so lets get straight to the juicy stuff. Some of us really do believe that we never dream, or maybe that we dream only very rarely.

Thats not true. Everyone dreams.

Whats more, we each have several episodes of dreaming throughout the night. They occur primarily during the period of REM described above, during which our most intense dreams take place, but theres also a phase called Non-Rapid Eye Movement (NREM) during which dreams might happenor they might not..

So, if we all dream, then why dont we all remember them?

Some scientists have speculated that we dont remember them simply because it wouldnt be healthy to do so. After all, if we had to think not only of all the stuff that happens every day in our waking lives AND then think about our dreams, wed probably go mad. There also needs to be a clear distinction between dreams and waking reality. For example, to dream of flinging yourself from the top of a moving train and then finding that you can fly to safety is fine, but to try the same thing in real life wouldnt be very clever. Dreams are by their very nature full of absurd scenarios and impossible situations which would simply never happen in our waking lives.

Always with the adjunct Safety First, then, here are some tips on how to remember your dreams.

DECIDE TO REMEMBER YOUR DREAMS

Start out by making the decision that you do actually want to be able to recall your dreams. Tell yourself that this is what you want. Repeat this mantra several times a day:

I will remember my dreams.

I will remember my dreams.

I will remember my dreams.

BREAK UP YOUR SLEEP PATTERN

If you can, aim to break up your sleep pattern. We remember our dreams usually when weve been woken up in the middle of, or immediately after, a dream episode.

You might have a dedicated friend who will time how long it take between you falling asleep until the REM pattern starts. You could try setting an alarm to wake yourself when this happens. Otherwise, try setting the alarm at random times. We sleep in 90-minute cycles, so if you dont have to get up at the crack of dawn the next day, you could set an alarm clock to go off at 90-minute intervals throughout the night.

Other ways of breaking up your sleep pattern include eating indigestible food (see Cheese Dreams in CHEESE DREAMS: DOES FOOD MAKE FREAKY DREAMSFREAKIER?), taking a long-haul flight into another time zone, or having a baby.

RECORD THE DREAM

The tried and tested method is to have a notebook and (working) pen or pencil beside the bed, but you might prefer to have a recording device. Remember, after all, that Keith Richards recorded Satisfaction in his sleep. Whatever means you decide to use, make sure theyre easily accessible and that youre familiar with any technology. Dreams can be extraordinarily elusive and could easily escape by the time youve jabbed away at the paper with a succession of useless pens, or worked out which button to push.

REMIND YOURSELF OF WHAT YOURE DOING

Its easy, befuddled with sleep, to forget what your aim is, especially if youre trying the 90-minute alarm clock method. Its all too simple to simply throw the clock across the room and continue snoozing. You might try placing a piece of card with the words REMEMBER DREAM! somewhere that youll see as soon as you wake up.

DONT TRY TO ANALYZE ANYTHING

Its more important that you get the details down without immediately worrying about the meaning of them. Let the dreams be. Let them breathe, live with them a little while before deconstructing them.

While youre at it, you might want to consider using your dreams to solve problems.

Youll see several examples dotted through this book about ingenious solutions that have been found in a dream, delivered to the dreamer as though on a silver platter. If you have any sort of conundrum, think of it several times during the day and then concentrate on it before you go beddy-byes. See what happens. By the way, youre more likely to have pleasant dreams if youre close to a pleasant scent, and vice versa.

A DISCLAIMER

Although the bulk of this book is an analysis of some of the features that might appear in your dreams, some of the freakiest dreams are simply beyond explanation, pure and simple. Dont worry if this is the case with one of your dreams. Enjoy it, revel in it, have a laugh about it.

IN CONCLUSION

If you take all this into consideration and start to apply it, youll find that the more you remember your dreams, the easier it will get. Its almost as though your subconscious mind, knowing that youre extending the hand of friendship, starts to come out to play and communicate with you.

YOU MIGHT SEE PATTERNS EMERGING. YOU MIGHT DREAM OF AN INVENTION THAT MAKES YOU A MILLIONAIRE.