Thomas Erikson - Surrounded by Psychopaths: How to Protect Yourself from Being Manipulated and Exploited in Business (and in Life)

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.

John Lennon

Imagine that an extremely attractive person of the sex you prefer sits down opposite you and exclaims with a smile: You are the most fantastic person Ive ever met! You immediately sense that this is for real, that the person is sincere. They ask questions and want to know everything about you. They dont talk about themselves, and they look at you as if you were the only person in the room. Their attention leaves you glowing, lit up in a way youve never felt before. This other person says the kinds of things youve waited a lifetime to hear. They somehow understand precisely who you are, the inner quirks of your personality, your every like and dislike. You feel as if you have finally found your soul mate. Through some magic, this person has gotten straight to your heart in a way you have never felt before.

Can you see it in your minds eye? Can you imagine the feeling? It would be fantastic, right?

And now the question: Can you look yourself in a mirror and honestly say that this wouldnt affect you? That you arent susceptible to the lure of romantic nonsense and that you would immediately become suspicious and realize that this person wants something completely different? If not your body, then probably your money.

Think a moment before you answer. Because if youve never been in such a situation, then youll never see the danger. This person is going to tell you their secrets, and they are going to get you to reveal yours. You will answer all their probing questions, the sole purpose of which is to find out as much as possible about you.

A few years ago, I wrote a book called Surrounded by Idiots. The book was about the basics of the DISC language, one of the most powerful methods in the world to describe human communication and the differences in human behavior patterns. The book was a success, which I hadnt really expected. I believe part of the reason for its success is that a lot of people are, like me, fascinated by human behaviorthe behavior of others and, above all, their own. And I might as well admit it: ME, Im an interesting person! At least to myself.

The behavior categories I use, in that first book as well as in this one, are based on William Moulton Marstons theories and consist of four main types of people, each of which is associated with a color: Red for dominance, Yellow for influence, Green for stability, and Blue for compliance. The following chapters provide an overview of what the colors mean in practice. These categories are a tool that can help answer many (but not all) of our questions about how people function.

People are too complex to be described completely, but the more you understand, the easier it is to identify the outliers. This method of behavior categorization encompasses perhaps 80 percent of the entire puzzle. Quite a lot, but far from everything. There are always other elements that we need to take into consideration to understand someones behavior: gender, age, cultural differences, motivation, intelligence, interests, experiences of every sort, birth order, and countless other factors. For the sake of simplicity, lets say that the puzzle has an awful lot of pieces.

As the book became more and more popular around the world, there were some people who chose to use the DISC system in a malicious way. This was never my intention. In this book, I want to make you aware of such individuals, of people who would try to manipulate you, and to give you the tools to protect yourself. Im often asked if an individual can have all the colorsbe a little bit Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue. Im a bit of each color, readers have written to me in emails. Is that possible? It can certainly feel possible. I act Red sometimes, Yellow and Green often, but on other occasions I am undoubtedly Blue. The reason why this is possible is actually quite simple: We all have the ability to use whichever type of behavior we want, thanks to the fact that we are intelligent beings who can think for ourselves. As their self-awareness increases, a Yellow person will learn that its time to close their mouth and open their ears. And a Green person can learn to express their heartfelt opinion even if that might lead to conflict. But the bottom line is that normally two colors dominate a persons behavior.

Approximately one year after Surrounded by Idiots was published, I had a strange encounter. A young man came up to me after a lecture I had given at a university. He stood right in front of me, face to face, more or less pushing aside others who also wanted to ask questions. With an intense gaze, he said that he didnt recognize himself in any of the colors. I asked him what he meant by that, and he said that none of the behaviors I had described fitted him. He thought he was a fifth color. He also wanted to know more about how to best interact with the other colors, but his choice of words was interesting: He told me he wanted to know how to take advantage of this knowledge.

Okay.

I gave him a standard answer since I didnt have time to start analyzing him then and there, and when he realized that he wasnt going to get anywhere with his questions, he stepped aside. But he didnt leave; instead, he remained standing a few yards away, observing me the whole time until I packed up all my things.

Observed is not quite the right word. In fact, he stared at me in an almost embarrassing way for perhaps ten minutes. I saw people come up to him, say hello, and smile. And every time he smiled back. But he wasnt really smiling at all. He pretended to smile. His face was distorted into a weird, strange grimace, a sort of imitation of a smile. Some of the people he smiled at noticed and reacted with a questioning look, while others didnt seem to think there was anything out of the ordinary. And after every smile, he went back to his serious, concentrated staring. At me. It was decidedly uncomfortable.

And what did he mean by take advantage of the DISC system?

It struck me that the young man was right about one thing: the DISC language doesnt apply to everybody. A part of the population cant be categorized. We should be very careful of such unpleasant, maybe even dangerous, types of people. Weve all heard the stories of the master manipulators, the con men, the imposters. How could he trick me so totally? their victims wonder. Why didnt I see that he was a con man?

The reason? Because these individuals know how they can use your own behavior against you. They have an instinctive understanding of how to manipulate a person to do virtually anything. And they can con virtually anybody using what