Thomas Erikson - Surrounded by Setbacks

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Sometimes it just happens. Things go bad. In a big way.

Youre about to celebrate your daughters graduation with a party in the backyard; the family has prepared for this for months, fifty guests have arrived, and suddenly the heavens open, the rain pours down, and the whole affair is ruined.

When you check the balance of the equity fund the bank recommended so highly and realize that your financial advisor really didnt know more than you. Now youre brokeagain.

When you realize that the presentation youve been working on for several weeks, the one that is going to catapult you directly to the corner office, was on the other USB stick.

When the house youve dreamed about since you were a kid finally comes on the market, but the bank says no.

When youve just reestablished contact with an old friend, only to learn that he only has six months left to live.

When youre walking down the sidewalk one fine morning and happen to put your left shoe right into a pile of dog shit.

When your worst enemy in the company gets the top job you thought had your name on it.

When you just open your eyes in the morning and everything goes wrong.

Sometimes you feel as though youre surrounded by setbacks, obstacles, and adversities. Little ones and big ones. And each time, youre overwhelmed by a feeling of hopelessness.

Youve picked up a book with a slightly depressing title. But this book isnt really about setbacks. Its about how you can deal with what you perceive as setbacks, and instead learn to achieve success. Life is what it is; its more a question of what you make of it than of what happens around you.

Like a wise person once said: it isnt about what happens to you, but about how you deal with it.

This planet can be a tricky place to live. A wonderful place, too, but nevertheless a rather weird one. And we arent always great at adjusting to the circumstances.

Some people manage to get through life fairly well without serious damage, but nobody manages to completely avoid difficulties and setbacks. Some people only have to deal with minor irritations. And then there are those who get such a rough deal from life that it makes you wonder why the powers above dont descend and give them a helping hand. They get hit so hard that you wouldnt want anyone to suffer that way.

Despite unimaginable difficulties, some of these people do keep going. How? What is their secret? Why dont they just lie down and give up?

Somewhere I heard an expression that stuck in my mind: If you find yourself in a rowboat way out at seaby all means say a prayer, but start rowing toward land at the same time.

Thats a good approach to difficulties and setbacks in life. Sometimes you need to hope that it will get better, but you also need to act.

And here we have one of the most important keys to dealing with setbacks and building your path toward success: you have to do something.

Theres research that can confirm much of what I am going to share with you. I will refer to some of it, and at the end of the book you will find a list of books to read on many of the subjects that Ill discuss.

A lot of what were going to look at is based on my own experiences. Experiences that Ive spent years trying to understand myself. Ive also observed the journeys of others Ive encountered over thirty years of professional life.

The approach that I share in this book has saved me from serious problems on more than one occasion. Its given me the ability to pitch unpleasant experiences overboard, retain my focus, and keep rowing my boat.

So has everything gone perfectly? Certainly not. I make my own mistakes and end up in trouble, just like everybody else. Even in situations where I really should have known better, Ive sometimes managed to mess things up all by myself. And sometimes the world doesnt go my way at all. A few situations come to mind:

• When I was ten years old, my family moved hundreds of miles away from everyone I knew.
• I misjudged the willingness of a potential client to do a deal, and that carelessness meant a missed contract for a lot of money.
• On one occasion, I wrote a grumpy letter of complaint to my employer (the biggest business bank in Scandinavia). The letter went right up to the CEO, who phoned me and gave me what for.
• At first, nobody was interested in the original Swedish manuscript of Surrounded by Idiots, my first book. About twenty publishers said no. Some of them rather brutally. I had to publish it myself.
• After the publication of my first book, I was pursued by a malevolent stalker.
• Ive gone through two divorces.

Of course, this list of failures, setbacks, and difficulties could be far longer. Nevertheless, Ive succeeded with some things. And you can read about the methods that have helped me in this book. Youll learn how to:

• never forget where youre going in life;
• not worry about what other people think of you;
• know which people really wish you well, and who doesnt;
• learn from every setback, so that you wont run into a brick wall again;
• stay on track, even when the people around you are doubtful;
• turn a setback into a success;
• stop wasting your time on the wrong things;
• deal with your fears;
• achieve long-term success without giving up on the way.

That familiar old expression Knowledge is power is indeed deceptive. Knowledge is not power. The world is full of enormously well-educated people who (if were being honest about it) arent doing particularly well. People with all the right letters before and after their names. They know just about everything and can quote every possible theory, but they dont even have power over their immediate environment.

So what is knowledge? Well, knowledge is potential power. If you use it, that is.

It makes no difference what you know and what you are capable of doing. Not even if you have an IQ higher than anyone south of the North Pole. However well-read you might be, and whomever you may have listened to, whichever books written by the worlds cleverest people you may have readit makes no difference.

No. Difference. At. All.

What you are capable of is beside the point. What you know is irrelevant. The only thing that matters when it comes to dealing with obstacles and creating success is what you actually do.

In the United States, 44 percent of all doctors are overweight (Newsweek, October 2008). I havent managed to find any equivalent statistics for the Swedish medical profession, but all the doctors Ive met are definitely not in the best shape. How can that be? They know better than anyone what you should eat and that you should exercise regularly, and theyve seen all the sad effects of being overweight and smoking. Nevertheless, many of them also have challenges with their health. It doesnt add up.