Tiede - When your husband is addicted to pornography: healing your wounded heart

A porn plague is raging in homes across the world today, and for every addicted husband there is a brokenhearted wife. While there is an abundance of powerful, biblical resources to help men overcome addiction, their wives have largely been overlooked. I am grateful that Vicki Tiede has filled that void. In a book that is sensitive, biblical, and conversational, she comes alongside hurting women as a friend and guides them to the hope and peace only the gospel can give.

Tim Challies, Pastor; blogger; author of Sexual Detox: A Guide for Guys Who Are Sick of Porn

This is an outstanding, significant, invaluable, and essential resource for todays women and particularly todays Christian women. (I am confident that men would benefit from reading it also.) Vicki presents hard information in a most gracious and gentle way. She is relational and honestly cares about the women who will be reading this book. She conveys an earnest desire to be a comforting resource to those suffering with a wounded heart. I recommend this book as a source of comfort, strength, and hope. It is saturated with Scripture and prayer.

Elsie E. Woolf, M.A., Board Certified Christian Counselor, National Coalition For Purity

When your world is rocked by your husbands infidelity, God can seem far away and Scripture dry. This book will be a breath of fresh air during those days. Having been in that situation, Vicki earns the right to challenge us to turn to the true Source of our hope, strength, and healing. Her blend of hopeful stories, helpful information, and pure Bible study fills a gap in the healing journey not seen in other materials.

Melissa Williams, Womens Director , Pure Life Alliance

Heartfelt, restoration , and complete are the words I would use to describe this book. It is by far the most thorough book on helping a woman deal with her husbands struggle with pornography. As I read the book, I could see the restoration happening in womens lives. Each chapter (week) leads you to the next step in getting your life and relationship with God back on track. Vickis comment at the beginning of the book is The purpose of this book is to take you on a journey to discover how your broken heart can become a work of splendor in the masterful hands of God. As a man who has broken trust with his own wife, this book made me realize that it was important for me to see the full betrayal this addiction has on a marriage. My recommendation is that every man who is serious about restoring his relationship with his wife reads this book after his wife has finished it. He will see his pornography addiction in a completely different wayand that will be a good thing.

Brent Barrowcliff, Transparent Ministries, www.transparentministries.org; Freedom Begins Here, www.freedombeginshere.org

Vicki Tiede has come alongside the millions of wives whose husbands are addicted to porn, to bind up their broken hearts and give them hopeas only one who has been there can.

Bob Tiede , Director of Global Operations Leadership Development for Campus Crusade for Christ International

If you are one of the increasing numbers of women who have discovered their husband losing the battle with pornography, Vicki Tiede gives you an informed, practical guide offering Christ-centered hope and restoration. Be sure to make this book a part of your journey to healing.

Michael John Cusick, author of Surfing for God: Discovering Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle

Vicki Tiede guides, comforts, and encourages hurting and heart-bruised wives to fix your eyes on the One who calms the storms and stills the raging seas, and find peace in the midst of it all. Ive been refreshed and helped in my own ministry to hurting women by this book which clearly and compassionately points us to the grace of Jesus Christ and the healing power of his Word.

Ellen Dykas , Womens Ministry Coordinator for Harvest USA www.harvestusa.org; editor of Sexual Sanity for Women

I will recommend this book for women to read. It will serve as a valued addition to therapy, and the thoughtful questions interspersed throughout the book are rich opportunities for exploring feelings, truth, and faith further. The author has an easy-to-read writing style and has tackled a difficult subject with grace and truth.

Margaret P Moore , MA, LMFT, LADC, RN, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Experiencing Moore, LLC

New Growth Press, Greensboro, NC 27404
www.newgrowthpress.com
Copyright 2012 by Vicki Tiede

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided by USA copyright law.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version . Copyright 2000; 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version . NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Cover Design: Brandon Hill Design, bhilldesign.com
Interior Design and Typesetting: North Market Street Graphics

ISBN 978-1-936768-63-9
ISBN 978-1-936768-58-5 (ebook)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Tiede, Vicki, 1967
When your husband is addicted to pornograpy : healing your wounded heart / Vicki Tiede.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-936768-63-9 (alk. paper)
1. PornographyReligious aspectsChristianityTextbooks. 2. HusbandsSexual behavior.Textbooks. 3. Christian menSexual behavior.Textbooks. I. Title.
BV4597.6.T54 2012
241'.667dc23

2012018321

Printed in Canada

19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 1 2 3 4 5

This book is dedicated to

every woman who is seeking hope and healing

in the midst of her husbands addiction

and

to Jesus,

for putting my heart back together and

making something beautiful out of my mess.

Ill love you, trust you, and follow you forever.

Acknowledgments

A book this honest and sensitive could have been written only with the support of many treasured people.

Blythe Daniel, my outstanding literary agent, thank you for believing in me and in this project. Your encouragement, friendship, and expertise are priceless.

To my new friends at New Growth Press, I am so excited to be collaborating with you. I cant wait to see what God is going to do. Sue Lutz, thank you for gently smoothing out the rough spots and polishing my words to a shine.

I could not have written this book without the family members and friends who made up my team of faithful prayer warriors. On the dark days when I was reliving deep sadness from my own story in order to remember my healing journey, you were on your knees seeking the face of the Healer of broken hearts. On the days when I pushed my chair away from the computer and wept tears of joy because the writing that day had been particularly sweet, you were standing in the gap, giving praise to the Giver of Joy.