The
Clarity Method
Tap Into What Motivates Your Clients, Your Colleagues, and You
Tim Brownson
TheClarityMethod
For Helen.
This is why I spent so much
time locked away in my office.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Foreword
Values. Right up there with oxygen. When I wrote those words in my first book, How to Be Brilliant, I really believed I knew a thing or two about values.
How mistaken can one be?
Like many people, I was faced with a dilemma. I thought I knew what my values were. As a coach and trainer, I would encourage people to discover their own values. Id stand on stage and give glib advice such as, Decision making is easy once you know your values.
The fact was, like many so many truths, you dont know what you dont know.
In my quest to be a better version of me, Id listened to millions of minutes of audio programs, read hundreds of books and traveled thousands of miles to see the gurus. You know the ones: big teeth and bigger hype. They all made a difference, but still there was a nagging question gnawing in the back of my mind.
How do you help someone, even yourself, to genuinely understand, find, articulate and live their life based on their core values?
And then I met Tim Brownson.
When I say that I met Tim, Ive never actually been in the same room as him since he lives more than 4,000 miles from me. Somehow we became friends andthis is the best bitTim has become my go-to coach on values.
Hes rather good at other areas of coaching too but if you really want to understand values, Tims the one person whom I confidently recommend to everyone.
Id better explain why.
As youll see throughout the pages of this book, Tim is a realist. Youll not see much advice along the lines of Chant your wishes or Just send out a message to the universe and relax as the universe will always give you what you need. Thats not Tim.
But at the same time he does have many magic-wand moments where something that could have taken you years to discover will become crystal clear in a few magical minutes.
And hes funny. Well, he thinks hes funny and thats a starting point. Tims comfortable with saying how it really is. Youll find yourself smiling on every page and even, as I did, laughing out loud many times as you dive in. And you will dive inbut be careful.
As you read The Clarity Method , youll feel tempted to skip the exercises and put off the tough questions. Youll confidently tell yourself you can come back to this exercise or test out that idea later. Dont.
Understanding something after youve read it is good. Doing something about it in that moment can change your life.
And if youre really going to use Tims powerful ideas to teach, help, and support others, could you put your hand on your heart and tell me youd feel comfortable advising someone to do something that you havent done yourself?
Much of Tims work is based on solid research. Ive always admired how he appears to be at the cutting edge of the latest thinking, and even more so how he takes what can be complex models and makes them easy for simple folk like me to understand and use.
But where Tims real skill and expertise comes from is the knowledge gained from the thousands of people he has coached and the hundreds of coaches he has taught to be better coaches.
The examples you will read are realmany from individuals who have experienced their own life-changing transformations while being coached by Tim. Using The Clarity Metho d , you will do the same. By educating yourself and helping others to really understand what motivates them, why they make the decisions they make, and how to live a fulfilled and happy life, you will be giving a gift that changes lives and lasts a lifetime.
Michael Heppell
Best-selling author of Flip It
Acknowledgments
I want to offer a massive thanks to all my clients. Without them and their brilliant hard work, determination, and feedback, this book could never have happened.
And, of course, we want to thank our newsletter and blog readers for keeping us on our toes. I know that when we get things wrong, you will point out the error of our ways but in a respectful way.
I would also like to thank Chris Gaskill, and Kate Di Cerbo for their invaluable help in transitioning from the first two iterations of Aligning With Your Core Values into what you have now, The Clarity Method . And also, a huge thanks to Angela Anderson and Kristi Anderson for help with editing, Dragan Bilic for the cover design and Leila Summers for keeping me on track.
A leader will find it difficult to articulate a coherent vision unless it expresses his core values, his basic identity. One must first embark on the formidable journey of self-discovery in order to create a vision with authentic soul.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow and leader in the Positive Psychology movement
The Clarity Method: Introduction
Many years ago, when I was about 10 or 11 years old, I was trying to fit in with some boys a year or so older than me. It was the beginning of my first year at a big, new school and I had few friends close to me because those of us who had moved up together had been split up across the entire lower form. As such, I was eager to please the other new boys in my class so I could feel included.
I had latched onto a group of about four boys and we were walking home from school one late afternoon. As was common practice, we stopped to go into a small convenience store that sold everything from fruit and vegetables to the more desirable candy. In those days, we all wore school uniforms and I had on a new blazer that was a bit too big for me, making me look a bit like Paddington Bear minus the marmalade sandwich under my hat.
I was wandering around the store ruing the fact that I didnt have any money to buy anything lovely and sweet, when suddenly I felt something heavy drop into the right-hand pocket of my blazer. I nervously looked down and could see an orange nestled neatly in the pocket.
I looked back up to see one of the other boys grinning at me. He put his finger to his lips and gently pushed me toward the door, obviously wanting me to leave with the free orange.
I immediately felt sick with nerves. Id never stolen anything in my life, and this didnt feel good at all. Neither did the thought of my trying to put the orange back and getting caught or telling the store owner that my new friend was attempting to encourage me to steal his produce.
I must have had guilt written all over my face because I was barely a half dozen paces through the door when I felt a large hand on my shoulder. I spun round hoping it was my friend but deep down knew it wasnt. My worst fears were realized as I faced an angry store owner who immediately thrust his hand into my pocket and pulled out the errant orange. I was so anxious, that I had to fight the urge to throw up all over the guy.
He brandished the citrus reticulata in front of my face and said, What do you think youre doing with this? Are you a thief? Im going to call your parents. I could barely talk, I was so frightened. My fear intensified as I saw my new friends walk off laughing, obviously not in the least bit concerned by my predicament.
To the best of my knowledge, that was the first time I was introduced to values. It was a chastening experience explaining to my parents why Id done such a thing after they had been called to collect me. They felt let down but probably more importantly, I felt Id let myself down to such an extent that I vowed I would never allow myself to get dragged into such behavior again.
I value honesty and integrity and I demonstrated neither. But equally, I value loyalty and friendshipeven if in hindsight both were misplaced in that instanceand as such never told my mum and dad the true story until many years later. I felt the pull to be honest but I was conflicted because I didnt want to be the honest kid who had no friends. Nobody said life was easy, right?