Karen Walrond - Beauty of Different

Observations of a Confident Misfit

KAREN WALROND

FOR MARCUS AND ALEX

Beauty is something we experience and feel on a soul level. Its more than being pretty or aesthetically attractive its an intangible attribute that stirs something deep inside of us.

Each of us because of all of our differences possesses the power to touch anothers soul.

Look closely.

We are all beautiful.

W hen I was about eleven years old, my family moved from our tiny island home of Trinidad, located just off the border of the South American country of Venezuela, to the relatively large town of Kingwood, located just off the border of the Texan city of Houston. I remember going to school that first day, with my short afro and sensible shoes, staring open-mouthed at the Kingwood Girls with their long, elaborately styled hair, tight blue jeans, lip gloss, pink bubble gum and high heels.

The Kingwood Girls were one of my first exposures to Different. In their defense, I was probably pretty odd looking to them, as well. So naturally, they stared right back.

In response to all this gaped-mouth staring, I reacted as most eleven-year-old girls would, I suppose: as much as humanly possible, I did everything I could to look like them. I talked my mother into buying me tight jeans, lip gloss and high heels (or as high as my no-nonsense mother would allow). I grew my hair, straightened it and wrestled it into wings. I officially began my long career in Trying To Be The Same.

I am embarrassed to tell you how many years I spent working at this career.

However.

At some point, I grew up. I got educated. I got a job and I traveled. I met people who looked different from me, sounded different from me, loved different from me. I saw buildings different from the ones in my neighborhood, ate food different from my favorite cuisines, smelled different aromas, touched different things. I began to seek Different, taking note of it. Writing it down. Photographing it. Celebrating it.

Because after all those years of Trying To Be The Same, I had finally discovered that Different is

very,

very

beautiful.

What follows is what I found.

Be Yourself. Life is precious as it is. All the elements of your happiness are already there. There is no need to run, strive, search or struggle. Just be.

Thich Nhat Hanh

For several years now , Ive been on the constant lookout for Individuality. Whenever I go to a party, one where I dont know a soul, I find myself surveying the room searching for someone, anyone, who looks like they might be interesting, approachable and very, very cool and yet, not so cool that they are firmly in the realm of haughty, mortified to be cornered into talking with someone the likes of me. Even though I certainly dont go to parties nearly as often as I used to a side effect, I suppose, of being mother to a young child who cant or at least shouldnt be left home alone Ive noticed that every time I go out, I fall into the very same pattern.

Recently I attended a celebration dinner held by a bride and groom the night before their wedding. The odd thing was I didnt know either of them. An out-of-town guest the brides cousin, and a good friend of mine had flown in for the festivities. My friend wasnt going to be able to spend much time with me while she was in town because she was busy photographing the wedding, so she invited me to come to the party. I therefore found myself standing at the doorway of a home Id never visited, clutching a bottle of what I hoped was a decent champagne.

(I wonder, exactly, how do you know if youve purchased a decent champagne? The bottle I bought was of an average price not the cheapest in the specialty food store Id dashed into prior to arriving, but certainly not the most expensive yet, I suspect price isnt always the best indicator of taste.

But I digress.)

Once I was invited in, I began my usual habit of scanning for an Individual.

What is somewhat ridiculous about this whole scene is that Im not entirely sure what I was looking for: after all, I dont have a Party Type. What Im seeking isnt physical beauty sure, attractiveness is nice, but its not like Im looking for a date. I do know that if hes dressed differently from everyone else in the room, this is a plus. If shes watching the setting with an air of intrigued-yet-detached confidence, bonus points. And if the words quirky or odd could be used to describe the person, I might just buy him a drink.

My fascination with the unusual or different isnt confined to people; Ive always been drawn to places and things that are singular, as well. But really, arent we all? Given a street full of houses with blue doors, save for one with a red door, 98.3 percent of us will be intrigued by the red door. Whats behind that door? we think. What couldve possibly possessed the homeowners to paint the door red? Are they artists? Separatists? Just plain ornery? Or maybe its some sort of sign, a secret code that only those who have red front doors could possibly understand. Id really like to knock on that red door.