About the Author
TARA BENNETT-GOLEMAN, M. A. , is a psychotherapist and teacher who has developed emotional alchemy, an innovative integration of mindfulness meditation and Buddhist psychology with a new dimension in cognitive therapy. For the last decade she has taught workshops on this approach with her husband Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence . Bennett-Goleman has studied for more than two decades with Buddhist masters from Tibet, Nepal and Burma. Her postgraduate training, at the Cognitive Therapy Center of New York, was in schema therapy, which focuses on changing self-defeating emotional patterns. Her humanitarian projects have included working for Tibetan causes and counselling the elderly and terminally ill. She is a longtime student of Japanese flower arranging and tea ceremony, as well as Kathak Indian dance. She lives in Massachusetts, where she affectionately spoils her two horses.
Praise for Emotional Alchemy
May this very important and enticing book find its way into the hearts of readers near and far so that it can perform its mysterious and healing alchemy for the benefit of all. Tara Bennett-Goleman has done a great service in describing in such inspiring and precise ways how meditative practices can liberate us from the patterns of emotional reactions that, unexamined, lead invariably to suffering and harm.
Jon Kabat Zinn,
author of Wherever You Go, There You Are
Professor of Medicine at Umass Medical School
A rare accomplishment, bringing the synthesis of Western psychology and Buddhist Mindfulness practice to an entirely new level. Much more than theory, it is a wise and pragmatic guide to emotional freedom. Tara Bennett-Goleman weaves together with consummate skill the wisdom teachings of the East, the latest understandings of cognitive therapy and neuroscience, and the innumerable personal stories that bring all of it to life.
Joseph Goldstein,
author of Insight Meditation
Gliding effortlessly from personal reminiscence to the latest in neuroscience, from meditation instruction to the intricacies of cognitive therapy, Tara Bennett-Goleman invites us to be part of her journey. In showing us how to use our minds to heal our emotions, she heals our minds with her heart.
Mark Epstein, M.D.,
author of Thoughts without a Thinker and Going to Pieces without Falling Apart
A wonderfully clear, compassionate and insightful guide to freeing ourselves from difficult emotions. Tara Bennett-Goleman illuminates a path of transformation, blending meditative, scientific and therapeutic perspectives, that will invite, encourage and inspire any reader.
Sharon Salzberg,
author of Lovingkindness
A very accessible and practical guide to transforming emotions. If you wish to know how your emotional habits can be changed, this book is for you.
Richard J. Davidson,
Director, Wisconsin Center for Affective Science, University of Wisconsin
Emotional Alchemy is an amazing feast of knowledge of East and West, traditional and current. It shows how everyday emotions can be transmuted as a means of healing. All the principles of the alchemy of mind explained in one book a must read handbook.
Tulku Thondop
author of Healing and the Mind
Written with humour, warmheartedness in lively prose,... a landmark step forward for us all.
Naomi Wolf
author of the Beauty Myth
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Epub ISBN: 9781409003298
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Copyright 2001 by Tara Bennett-Goleman
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner.
Tara Bennett-Goleman has asserted her right to be identified as the author of this Work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
First published in the United States in 2001 by Harmony Books, an imprint of Crown Publishing Group, Random House Inc., USA.
First published in Great Britain in 2001 by Rider.
This edition first published in 2003 by Rider,
an imprint of Ebury Press, Random House,
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ISBN 1-8441-3045-2
ISBN-13: 978-1-8441-3045-0
For the light of wisdom
within everyone
Contents
Foreword
by the Dalai Lama
W e all desire happiness and do not want suffering. Because the very purpose of life is to be happy, it is important to discover what will bring about the greatest degree of happiness. Whether our experience is pleasant or miserable, it is either mental or physical. Generally, it is the mind that exerts the greatest influence on most of us. Therefore, it is extremely worthwhile to try to bring about mental peace.
Although material progress is important for human advancement, if we pay too much attention to external things and give too little importance to inner development, the imbalance will lead to problems. Inner peace is the key: if we have inner peace we will be able to deal with situations with calmness and reason. Without inner peace, no matter how comfortable our life is materially, we may still be worried, disturbed, or unhappy because of the circumstances.
When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us. When our community is in a state of peace, it can share that peace with neighboring communities and so on. When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for but also helps us to develop inner happiness and peace.
As a Buddhist I have learned that what principally upsets our inner peace is what we call disturbing emotions. All those thoughts, emotions, and mental events that reflect a negative or uncompassionate state of mind inevitably undermine our experience of inner peace. All such negative thoughts and emotions as hatred, anger, pride, lust, greed, envy, and so on have the effect of disturbing our inner equilibrium. They also have a taxing effect on our physical health. In the Tibetan medical system, mental and emotional disturbances have long been considered causes of many constitutional diseases, including cancer. Scientists and health professionals in the West increasingly share this point of view, too.
Disturbing emotions are the very source of unethical conduct. They are also the basis of anxiety, depression, confusion, and stress, which are such a feature of our lives today. And yet, because we so often fail to recognize their destructive potential, we do not see the need to challenge them.