Debbi Marco - Anxiety

ANXIETY

Copyright Summersdale Publishers Ltd, 2020

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Introduction

Most people experience some worry or fear around certain situations. It is perfectly natural to feel anxious before a job interview or when you are going through big life changes, but sometimes anxiety starts to creep into everyday situations such as going to work or seeing friends. It becomes a problem when your anxiety appears more regularly, lasts longer or becomes more extreme. If your anxiety is increasing to unhealthy levels, make sure you seek professional help. Often you can learn to manage your anxiety using some simple tricks and tips to train yourself to worry less. Here you will find some practical advice to lift your mood and calm your mind.

WHAT IS ANXIETY?

Anxiety is rooted in the fight or flight response and symptoms can include negative thoughts, overanalyzing conversations, insomnia, nausea, sweating or panic attacks. What causes your anxiety and how it manifests itself will be unique to you. This doesnt mean that what is worrying you is more or less serious than what might be worrying someone else, but it is important to take steps to address your worries before they get too serious which is why reading this book is a great idea!

IDENTIFY YOUR FEARS

Sometimes anxiety can feel as though it is floating around your body for no discernible reason. Grab a piece of paper and write down everything that is bothering you, however small or silly those things might be. When everything is clearly laid out in black and white, you can start to understand what is niggling you and how you can make things better.

Seeing the Signs

Not everybody who suffers from anxiety recognizes it. Perhaps you are very high functioning, or you dont display outward physical symptoms. Remember, even if you only check a few things on the list, you can still help yourself by practising self-care. Signs of anxiety include: difficulty controlling your worry, trouble sleeping, rapid breathing or a tight chest, regular feelings of panic and nervousness, and avoiding social situations. Seek help if your anxiety is causing you to feel depressed or have suicidal thoughts, or if it is affecting your relationship or job. Whatever your levels of anxiety, there is help out there for you. Just be brave and speak to someone you trust rather than suffering in silence you may be surprised by how many people feel the same as you.

YOU MAY NOT CONTROL ALL THE EVENTS THAT HAPPEN TO YOU, BUT YOU CAN DECIDE NOT TO BE REDUCED BY THEM.

Maya Angelou

Once you choose hope, anythings possible.

Christopher Reeve

Be Honest

The first step in dealing with your anxiety is to own it. Admit to yourself that you are struggling and that things are hard right now. They wont always be this way, but you need to face up to what you are dealing with. Perhaps your anxiety is social, work related or to do with money. Whatever it is, take some time to sit quietly and think about your problems you could write a list or draw a picture to represent what is going on with you at the moment.

It may feel overwhelming at first, but taking the time to really see what is going on in your life will help. You might make connections that werent obvious. For example, perhaps you were worried about going to a party, but actually it is one individual who is the root of your concern. And dont forget, you wont feel like this forever you will one day be able to overcome these feelings of anxiety.

You dont have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.

Dan Millman

DONT PRETEND

Sometimes it feels like the easiest option is to pretend everything is fine and that you have all aspects of your life under control, but this could be adding to your anxiety. The pressure of keeping up the appearance that everything is okay could actually be making you feel worse. Pretending to be fine is draining, but if you start to be honest with yourself and others youll find it easier to tackle the root of your problems.

KEEP IT REAL

Its easy to believe our negative thought patterns are the truth, but just because something might happen, it doesnt mean it definitely will. For example, if your bus breaks down on the way to work, you might start to worry about what will happen if youre late: perhaps your boss will call you in to their office and tell you off or you might be put on probation. When anxiety takes hold, it is easy to catastrophize and take any situation to its worst possible end. Try to break down your negative thoughts by asking yourself why this terrible thing might happen and then think of a more positive alternative. Of course, theres no guarantee the worst wont happen, but when you start to frame events with different possible scenarios and outcomes, it will seem much less likely. If you start to treat your negative thoughts like a feeling instead of the truth, you can begin to train yourself to move away from the worst-case scenario and see a different, less stressful possibility.

Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.

Kahlil Gibran

BE YOUR OWN FRIEND

Imagine your buddy made a massive mistake at work and confided in you about it. Would you berate them and call them stupid? Would you tell them they will probably lose their job and that everyone thinks theyre incompetent? Of course not, so why would you say it to yourself? Next time you start to beat yourself up internally, pause and imagine youre talking to a good friend instead. Youll find it easier to be kinder and more rational with a different perspective.