Rebecca Holland - Turning 50 During a Pandemic

Turning 50 During A Pandemic

Rebecca Holland

Copyright 2020 Rebecca (R.L.) Holland

All rights reserved.

To Carter

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Mere words cant express the gratitude I feel for the support from family , friends, former newspaper publishers and editors, writing mentors and others who I have passed in my 23 -year career as a print journalist, but also in the 43 years I have dreamed of writing a REAL book.
Most importantly, before anyone else is thanked, I have to give full credit to the good Lord for, well, just doing His thing all over my life even when I act like a red-headed step-monster.

1 Introduction

M uhammad Ali once said, Theres nothing stressful about turning 50 except people remind you about it.

And that aint no lie. Turning 50 is just a thing, but society doesnt want us to have it as just a thing. Oh, no, it has to be a BIG thing!

Prior to turning the big 5-0 in January of 2020, I heard all the jokes and took all the teasing that folks dished out. But, I was fine about it all.

In fact, I was really looking forward to being 50. Some of my plans included eating different foods that I had never tasted before, reading more books, writing the Great American Novel, losing a few pounds and finding my favorite music genre.

In the pages that follow, you will find some real stories about turning 50, and lessons learned during a years journey filled with uncertainty, tears, anger, worry, sadness, melancholy and anxiety.

But, that is not all you will feel or see. During this crazy time, there also has been some enlightenment, some laughter, some growth, some maturity, some reflection, some learning and a whole lot of love.

Navigating the year of turning 50 wasnt hard or complicated, it was an incredible journey even during this pandemic.

Getting older is a natural part of life as Jaclyn Anglis once wrote for Womans World. And it can be quite a beautiful part too.

Oprah Winfrey said, The way I see it every year can be a brand new journey. Think about it. You get one chance to be 25, 38, 44, 61 and every age before and between. Why wouldnt you want to experience all the wonder in each step on your path?

Even if it includes finding your way through a pandemic?

Sharon Stone said, Its not like 50 is the new 30 Its like 50 is the new chapter.

See You Soon, Becky

The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down. T.S. Eliot

The man who views the world at fifty the same as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life. Muhammad Ali

2 Be You

W hen I hit the 50th birthday, I saw a quote in an article that said If you have not grown up by age 40, you dont have to. I laughed because, as I typed in quotes about turning 50, that very same quote showed up, with the age 50 in place of 40.

January 29, 1970 I was born in a little rural community in east Texas called Linden. The hospital was small, and this was way before beepers and cell phones. Being the fourth child two of the previous were by birth and the other was by choice (my parents took in a child three years prior to my arrival) I was to be the last, and hopefully, the easiest birth.

I did find out though, recently, that during her pregnancy with me almost 51 years ago my mom was very sick. In fact, my dad said she was the sickest with me than with my older sister and oldest brother. Dad told the doctor who was going to take a break and run home that he better not go far, that my mom was a pretty quick on her deliveries.

Apparently, he wasnt telling a fable Dad and the nurse were in the delivery room prepping to do the docs job. Luckily for them, or me, Moms doctor got back just in time.

I arrived with a head full of black hair and a tooth. My beginning, I guess, set the tone for me. But that is the case for anyone right?
Saying all of this to get to the one thing I have learned this year- my year of turning 50.

Be You. Dr. Seuss did say, Why fit in when you were born to stand out?

People would tell me that by the time I reached 50, I would know myself, and be able to decipher my purpose. Or at least would know my strengths and weaknesses, know my likes, what my beliefs are and so forth.

Or if you dont know, age 50 is the age of awareness self-awareness. You will begin figuring out who you are pretty quickly.

And get ready, you may not like the picture you see at first, but it is OK. It is never too late to adjust your sails.

Just be you.

Kacey Musgraves song, Follow Your Arrow, came to my attention this year. The song was written by Brandy Clark, Musgraves and Shane Macnally.

The lyrics go as follows, If you save yourself for marriage, then you are a bore. You dont save yourself for marriage, youre a horrible person. If you wont have a drink, then youre a prude. But theyll call you a drunk as soon as you down the first one.

It continues. if you cant lose the weight, then you are just fat. But if you lose too much, then youre on crack. Youre damned if you dont, so you might as well just do.

Musgraves sings with passion. So, you might as well just do whatever you want.

Just follow your arrow wherever it points, yeah. Follow your arrow. Wherever it points

Just be you!

3 If You Dont Like the Green bean Casserole, You Dont Have to Eat It

G reen bean casserole has been named one of Americas least favorite Thanksgiving food. Or so a Harris Poll survey for Instacart in 2019 says. My understanding is about 24 to 29 percent of those dont like it.

I have never liked it. When my grandmother on my moms side was alive, it was like a mainstay in all holiday meals not just as part of a tradition at Thanksgiving. As a kid though, I was taught that we had to eat everything, and it was not polite to crinkle my nose at any food when we were at guest at someones table.

For 50 years, I ate foods and drank drinks that I really didnt care for just because I thought I was supposed to, or because I didnt want to offend someone. From rutabagas to chocolate to bread to beets to olives to well, you get the picture, I stomached them.

Being the youngest, I never had the opportunity to hide my food in my napkin like older siblings and cousins did. Why? I was always sitting in between my parents or close to my aunts or grandparents.

It was just easier to eat the green bean casserole than not to eat it? I can just see my mom giving me the stink eye just daring me to not spoon a bundle of the casserole onto my plate.

As I rounded the corner from turning 50 in January, the proverbial light bulb went off in my brain.

Youre 50 now. If you dont like something, you dont have to eat it, you dont have to wear it, you dont have watch it, you dont have to

And you dont have to explain why or make an excuse. You certainly dont have to apologize.

Practice the words. Say it with me now. No, thank you. Sandwich that phrase in between a smile and a small shake of the head.

You are 50 now. You are not 20 or 30 where you hare trying to make your mark in the world, and have to please people. You are not 40 where you are trying to reinvent yourself. You are 50.

You have earned the right to say no.

You have earned the right to walk past the green bean casserole without putting any on your place.

4 The Weeds

A weed is defined as a wild plant growing where it is not wanted, and in competition with cultivated plants. During the last several months, we have done some yard work digging up flower gardens, making flower gardens, planting seeds and keeping the weeds out of the way.

One day, I was working on cleaning the area where we had some marigolds planted away from the house. The weeds had overtaken the marigolds in height. So, I was trying to pull them away and get rid of them. Our marigolds were a fiery reddish orange. I noticed a few funky looking flowers with the colors of pink and purple.