David Kundtz - The Art of Stopping: How to Be Still When You Have to Keep Going

Praise for
The Art of Stopping

Instant Zen.

Susannah Seton, coauthor of Simple Pleasures

A guide to sanitycan help us navigate through the white-water rapids we call our lives when all else fails to slow us down.

Lauren Artress, author of Walking a Sacred Path

In a world where peoples lives seem to be caught up in a whirlwind of activity, David Kundtzs book is an oasis, a stopping-off place, to heal ones life and rediscover ones true purpose for being here. I highly recommend it.

Ron Roth, author of The Healing Path of Prayer

An elegant, powerful, and simple tool for finding serenity. Just what the world needs right now.

Richard Carlson, author of Dont Sweat the Small Stuff

Also by David Kundtz

Nothings Wrong: A Mans Guide to Managing His Feelings

Quiet Mind: One Minute Mindfulness

Awakened Mind: One Minute Wake Up Calls

Being Present: A Book of Daily Reflections

Coming To: A Biomythograph

The Art of
Stopping

How to Be Still When
You Have to Keep Going

David Kundtz

Foreword by Richard Carlson

Coral Gables

Copyright 2020 David J. Kundtz, SThD

Cover and Interior Layout Design: Jermaine Lau

Published by Conari Press, an imprint of Mango Media Inc.

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The Art of Stopping: How to Be Still When You Have to Keep Going

ISBN: (p) 978-1-64250-439-2 (e) 978-1-64250-440-8

BISAC: SEL016000, SELF-HELP / Personal Growth / Happiness

LCCN: Pending

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher. Printed in the United States of America.

All acknowledgments of permission to reprint previously published material can be found on pp. 247-248, which constitute an extension of this copyright page.

Chart on page 145 John Lomibao Design

To the memory of my father whose example
taught me about Stopping.

To the memory of my mother who encouraged me to write.

Table of Contents

When I first looked at The Art of Stopping: How to Be Still When You Have to Keep Going , I realized immediately that I was in familiar territory. In fact, it didnt take me long to locate in my own work a very specific expression of what Stopping is all about: Virtually every day, I stop whatever Im doing to enjoy the sunrise (from Dont Sweat the Small Stuffand Its All Small Stuff) . And this is just one of many examples. Yes, Stopping as defined by Dr. Kundtzdoing nothing in order to wake up and remember who you areis something that has been part of my life for a long time.

What we owe David Kundtz is credit for conceptualizing a simple yet profound reality and offering to us an elegant and powerful tool for finding the serenity and stillness that so easily escapes us as we cope with too-busy lives.

Stopping is a happy marriage of the riches of many of the worlds contemplative and mystical traditions with the insight and awareness of contemporary psychology. Just what the world needs right now, it seems to me.

Finally, because it gives us perspective, because it encourages us to put first things first, and because it keeps us awake and aware, Stopping is an ideal way to remember something important about the vast majority of things that bother and upset us: its all small stuff.

Richard Carlson, PhD

How to be still when you have to keep goingthats what this book is about. It offers practical help in coping with the complicated and challenging world of the twenty-first century, which, as this book goes to press, is experiencing the global crisis of Covid-19. The pandemic came into an already struggling world that seemed to be losing its sense of fairness and decency, and was foundering about in search of leadership and unity.

This is, however, the world we actually live in; and we have no choice: we have to keep going, often now through unknown territory with no precedents to follow.

Thus, the art of Stopping: a process of accessing your own untapped inner wisdom and strength.

Stopping is doing nothing, as much as possible, with the purpose of becoming more awake, remembering who you are, and what you want. Its elements are Stillpoints, Stopovers, and Grinding Halts.

It is based on the belief that only if you have enough stillness and relaxation in your life are you able to access your ever-present inner wisdom and live the life you want, the life you choose to live. Otherwise that wisdom never finds its voice, is drowned out by distractions, and you forget what is truly important to you, only to live a default version of life that the unenlightened and wild forces of the world dictate. In other words, your life becomes a tragedy.

The title of this book is The Art of Stopping . Stopping is an art rather than a process or an activity. It is an art because it depends on your own creativity and style and it is based on accessing your own rich and wonderful inner life. Your experience of Stopping is your unique creation.

Stopping is compatible with all faiths or none, has no doctrines or politics, and is elegantly simple.

Welcome to your true life. Welcome to Stopping.

David Kundtz
Kensington, California

The dogmas of the quiet past, are inadequate to the stormy presentAs our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew.

Abraham Lincoln

Its too much, Mary Helen told me, way too much. I just cant deal with it all! Then she gave in to tears. Mary Helen, a successful and intelligent woman of thirty-eight, with a thriving career and a loving family, was close to the end of her rope.

Any observer in my counseling office that day would have seen that Mary Helen was in trouble: anxious, stressed, unfocused, irritable, unable to sleep, over-whelmed by life, and frustrated with her inability to manage it. She was angry at herself for her inability to cope and angry at me because I was the one to whom she had admitted it.

Although she was not aware of it, she did know what the problem was. It was the first thing she said: Its too much. Upon further exploration, I found no underlying psychosis, no debilitating personality disorder, no family-of-origin dysfunction making a sudden midlife appearance, and no marriage about to crash on the rocks of incompatibility. Just that life had become too much.

Just that life had become too much? Hardly. Although the problem may seem well known, its vastness, depth, and long-term implications are still far from our conscious recognition. As with any hidden enemy, the contemporary problem of too much has its way with all of us. The damage is extremely severe and is sometimes even life threatening.

Being overwhelmed means that your life or work