Lessons from a
Reluctant Healer:
On Learning to Listen to that
Still Small Voice Within to Better Bring Your Gifts to the World
Mary H. A. Kearns
Copyright 2021 by Mary Hoyt Akiyama Kearns
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the author, addressed Attention: Permissions at info@yourstellarself.com
The stories in this book reflect the authors recollection of events. Some names, locations, and identifying characteristics have been changed to protect the privacy of those depicted. Dialogue has been re-created from memory.
Cover Design : Mary H. A. Kearns
Cover Photo : Thomas Kearns
eBook ISBN: 978-1-7371840-0-3
Published by Your Stellar Self, LLC
Falls Church, VA
www.yourstellarself.com
Printed in the United States of America.
First Edition
Dedication
To my family, friends, and all my teachers, with love.
Table of Contents
Introduction
I f youre willing to listen to, be guided by, that still small voice within yourself, to find out what makes you come alive, you will be more than okay. You will be happy, you will be successful, and you will make a difference in the world.
Oprah Winfrey
From a very young age, I was aware of my connection with Spirit. But, as I grew, I allowed myself to be pulled away from this inner knowing, following directions that I felt I should be following, rather than what my heart told me was my true path. I hope that by offering stories of the challenges Ive overcome, and talking about some of the tools I have learned along the way (such as learning the importance of staying grounded), I can help you avoid some of the mistakes I have made so that you can enjoy a smoother journey.
In this book, I share examples of how I have fallen down, gotten up, grown, and regressed and how I kept working to improve my ability to hear that still, small voice within myself and honor my innate gifts. I encourage you to think about similar experiences in your life and how they might be guiding you. Im guessing that little I say in this book about finding your inner guidance will be absolutely new to you. In your heart, you all know all of this, but you may have set it aside for day-to-day real life concerns. Now, however, is a time of rememberingremembering who we are, why we are here, and what innate gifts we have a responsibility to share during our time here on earth. It is always good to have reminders. I hope this book will inspire you to keep striving toward that place where you allow yourself to shine and bring your beautiful authentic self and gifts to the worldgifts that the world needs now more than ever.
As I was writing this book, I discovered a pattern in my life. Each time I listened to other peoples opinions about what I should be doing or the logical voice in my brain rather than listening to my inner wisdom, things had a tendency to go off the tracks for me, like when I took jobs just for the money or because someone else told me I had to. But when I paid attention to that still, small voice in my heart, my life flowed with ease and I was able to clearly see the steps I needed to take to live my lifes purpose. Even though I have always felt a deep connection with all beings on this planet (people, animals, insects, plants, minerals, water), it took me a long time to accept the responsibility that I am here on earth at this time to be a healer for all of them.
We all have a life purpose, a mission that we are meant to fulfill in this world. At times, following this mission can be difficult, and it can be tempting to ignore the calling, opting instead to follow a more conventional, materially-driven path, but that usually leads to feelings of imbalance and dissatisfaction, an always-searching-for-more. Ignoring your purpose often leads to a nagging feeling of discontent, a desire for something more in your life. In some more extreme cases, Spirit will bonk you on the head, reminding you that you have lost your focus and demanding that you honor the gifts you were given. For example, you may be going along thinking things are just fine, but then an unexpected illness, job loss, loss of a loved one, or any number of other life disruptors come along to remind you of what you are supposed to be doing. Collectively, we have been going through an extreme example of this.
I started writing this book two years ago and have been putting the final touches on it during a pandemic, social unrest, increasing economic disparity, and climate change-induced natural disasters affecting everyone and everything on this earth. With all of these challenges placed front and center where we cant help but see what needs to change, we are clearly being asked to re-evaluate our priorities as individuals, as a society, and as a world communityit is a spiritual call to action to create a better world for all. These times are truly apocalyptica word that comes from the Greek apoklypsis , meaning an unveiling of deeper truth and meaning.
Along with many others, I have been hearing this call to action for several years and have been doing the self-work I need to be able to show up fully for my part in creating a better world. I believe we each have an important part to play, and that is why I wanted to share my story of discovering (or rather, rediscovering) the gifts with which I came into the world, gifts that allow me to contribute my part to bringing about the positive evolution of our world. Each one of us is born with unique gifts that can help us contribute to the evolution and betterment of humanity, so I hope you find helpful my stories about the tools I have picked up along the way that have helped me to excavate and polish those gifts. Like the musicians in a magnificent orchestra, we each have a part to play. Each of us must play our particular piece of the symphony to create something so much more beautiful and transcendent than we can without one another.
During times of personal tribulationmy mothers death, my fathers prolonged illness, my divorceI have felt abandoned by Spirit and have fallen into deep despair, losing perspective on my reason for being here on this planet. Over time, though, I have learned how to raise myself out of those feelings of despair, by opening myself up to the higher realms of consciousness and reconnecting with my purpose. I have done this by learning ways to raise my vibration,
Allow me to take a moment to explain what I mean by raising my vibration. If you are like me, you have heard the term good vibes all your life and have a vague understanding that it related to a place or person that feels good to be around, but what exactly are these vibrations and how do you raise them?
Over the past hundred-plus years the discipline of quantum physics has been exploring the idea that everything in the universe is made up of energy vibrating at different frequencies, a concept that Eastern cultures have talked about for centuries.
Each of these systems has an optimal vibrational level that is associated with physical and emotional wellbeing. Low vibrations are associated with disempowering thoughts, negative emotions, poor health, physical pain, and mental confusion. Conversely, high vibrations are associated with empowering thoughts, positive emotions, good physical health, and strong spiritual awareness. So, it makes sense that you benefit by raising your vibration, as do those around you and, by extension, the entire world. When I am consistent in my observation of these practices, I can more easily hear that inner voice of wisdom and appreciate my interconnectedness with all living beings.
