Gareth Higgins - How Not to Be Afraid: Seven Ways to Live When Everything Seems Terrifying

Praise for How Not to Be Afraid

In a world in which everything seems to be imploding around us, I dont find it particularly realistic or helpful to be told that I should really be transcending fear. But I totally trust Gareth Higgins when he writes about his own fear and how its actually possible to transform it into something powerful, something capable of healing us and the world.

Nadia Bolz-Weber, author of Shameless; Accidental Saints; and Pastrix

It is easy to say Do not be afraid, but it is difficult to live it. In this book, Gareth Higgins brings us on a journey from fear to courage, from being afraid to not staying afraid, from defensiveness to an imagination about what justice might look like in private and public. Gareth Higgins is a friend. This book is too.

Pdraig Tuama, writer, poet, Theologian-in-Residence at On Being, and author of In the Shelter

In How Not to Be Afraid, Gareth Higgins doesnt dismiss the very real fear we feel, but instead invites us into stories and practices that offer us ways to process our feelings and experiences and bravely cultivate substantial, generative love. This book is a much-needed resource for skill-building through our fear and trauma so we might create the belonging and communities we desire.

Micky ScottBey Jones, the Justice Doula, director of healing and resilience initiatives with Faith Matters Network

Through his brilliance as a storyteller, Gareth Higgins has allowed us simple but deep insights into the possibility of managing the debilitating emotion of fear. By bearing his soul-exhausting experience with fear, he allows us to take our own heros journey to find our way through.

Dr. James McLeary, former CEO of Inside Circle Foundation and executive producer of the award-winning documentary The Work

Gareth Higgins spent years feeling trapped in fear, but you wouldnt guess that about him now. He has worked out an escape route from fear, and he was kind enough to write down each turn along the journey. This practical book makes it a lot easier for each of us to find a way to not be afraid.

David Wilcox, storyteller, singer, and songwriter behind The View from the Edge

Gareth Higginss book reminds us that its never too late to sit down for a cup of tea with your shadows and your fears. Like old friends, youll have plenty to talk about.

Rodrigo Dorfman, award-winning filmmaker, multimedia producer, and visual storyteller

Im so happy this beautiful book is here. Gareth Higgins has a certain rare magic as a writer and human being. This book will touch you and help you overcome fear, live with courage and creativity, and find meaning on this frightened planet.

Brian D. McLaren, author of Faith After Doubt and The Galpagos Islands: A Spiritual Journey

This storytelling is really captivating! The depth I sensed in the writing touched and opened my heart. Im already thinking of many people I want to give this book to. Im grateful Gareth poured his precious time and singular abilities into this work.

Mark Silver, founder of Heart of Business

This is a book written exactly for these challenging times. I dont remember ever reading a book so creatively structured.

Nancy Hastings Sehested, prison chaplain and pastor

Uniquely crafted! Sure to be an important, transformational read for a lot of people.

Tyler McCabe, former program director at Image Journal

Gareth Higgins

Foreword by Kathleen Norris

Broadleaf Books

Minneapolis

HOW NOT TO BE AFRAID

Seven Ways to Live When Everything Seems Terrifying

Copyright 2021 Gareth Higgins. Printed by Broadleaf Books, an imprint of 1517 Media. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical articles or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher. Email or write to Permissions, Broadleaf Books, PO Box 1209, Minneapolis, MN 55440-1209.

Cover design by Juicebox

Print ISBN: 978-1-5064-6903-4

eBook ISBN: 978-1-5064-6904-1

for Brian Ammons,

who once woke me up from a nightmare

and said, Youre OK. Youre OK.

You have what you need.

And he was right.

I have learned over the years that when ones mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.

Rosa Parks

Kathleen Norris

Your enjoyment of the world is never right, till every morning you awake in heaven. Not many of us can match the abandon of the seventeenth-century British poet Thomas Traherne, but he lets us know we have an option: to embrace gratitude so fully that it eclipses our anxieties and fears.

Lest we dismiss Traherne as naive or foolish, consider that his was a remarkably unstable era: a violent civil war and the execution of the king, followed by the brutal dictatorship of Oliver Cromwell. Social unrest eased when Traherne was twenty-four and newly ordained as an Anglican priest, but five years later, the bubonic plague struck London, killing thousands and shutting down all trade and social life. Imagine the terror of not knowing what had caused the disease, what might cure it, or how long it would last.

And yet we find Thomas Traherne waking every morning in heaven. His religious faith no doubt helped him, but the kind of gratitude he exudes does not require it. It does require a realistic assessment of our fears.

Now we have a book to help us with that: How Not to Be Afraid, a wholehearted blend of memoir and practical suggestions for coping with fear. It is a necessary book at a time when so many have so much to fear and when fear is being manipulated for political gain. Gareth Higgins examines the full range of human anxieties, from personal feelings of shame and exclusion to concerns about social upheaval. He firmly rejects the notion that violence is needed to conquer fear and restore order.

I became a friend of Gareth when he invited me to one of his annual retreats in Northern Ireland. There I learned more about the terrors he experienced growing up during the Troubles. But I also learned about the peacemaking efforts that he and many others are engaged in there in the hope of transforming their society for the better.

I confess that I dont like self-help books. They typically offer a false sense of security, suggesting that we can control our lives with cheerful thoughts and a list of dos and donts. This book is an altogether different animal. Its a gentle, open invitation, full of hospitable storytelling that allows us to find ourselves in its pages. As we read about how Gareth has faced terror in his life, we are challenged to reflect on our own fears and to imagine a way to a better self, a better story.

God knows we need it. We may be hardwired to fear genuine danger. But all too often, we let it imprison us until, as Gareth points out, it becomes self-defeating. I once witnessed a dear friend pacing, wringing her hands, and grinding her teeth, fretting about her daughter who was driving home for Thanksgiving from a college two hundred miles away. When at last the girl entered the house, there were hugs and tears and laughter. But within minutes, my friend was grinding her teeth again and wringing her hands. Whats wrong? I asked, and she replied, Now I have to worry about how to get her back safely.

Our fears can be a spiritual short circuit, as they were for my friend: preventing us from being fully present, even to those we love. But Gareth knows there is another way, and he provides valuable insight into the difference between debilitating fear and a holy fear that gives us courage. Naming and facing our fears can open us to acts of great compassion.