Bhuiyan Ally - Speak to Connect: Public Speaking Demystified

Mushi Bhuiyan

Several years ago, I worked as a consultant for a major international firm (Accenture), spending most of my time on the road, away from my family, moving on to new companies every few months. While the work was challenging and I enjoyed being in different parts of the country, my children were growing up largely without me, and I felt that a gap was growing between me and my family.

I wanted to stop being away from home so much, and start being part of the family again. I needed to get promoted. However, it seemed that I had reached a ceiling in my rise on the corporate ladder; several times I was nominated for a promotion, only to be passed up. I remember one year I sold over $40 million in new business for my company, but all I got as a thank-you was a fruit basket and a cheap bottle of wine in the mail, and that was it! The promotion I had worked so hard for never came.

My friend and career coach Brian Goldberg explained that some of my upper management had expressed concern over my communication skills, and that each time that had been the major factor playing against me. He suggested that I take classes at Dale Carnegie to boost up my skills. I followed his advice, and found that while I was incredibly nervous, I enjoyed learning how to think on the spot when given impromptu questions and how to devise strategies for giving a prepared presentation. When the course was over, I yearned for more, and I discovered Toastmasters, an organization where people come to meetings to practice their speaking skills in an encouraging environment.

I had landed a consulting gig close to home, so I was able to reconnect with my family, and visited so many Toastmasters clubs that I gave several speeches a week. The drudgery of always traveling and spending all my time working and being alone was lifted and replaced by joy and new friendships. Within a few short years I earned the highest public speaking recognition from Toastmasters International, DTM (Distinguished Toastmaster).

Ally Bhuiyan

In the meanwhile, I was teaching high school English to juniors and seniors. I had always enjoyed teaching, and loved bringing a contagious enthusiasm that led young people to appreciate literature and the English language. But somehow, in recent years, Id been struggling to pass along the hunger for learning. I felt overworked and overwhelmed, and seemed suddenly unable to motivate the students. I was no longer connecting with them. It is a horrible place for a teacher to find herself in.

I began looking for other ways to fill this gap in my life, trying to renew my energy and love for teaching. While I had often laughed when Mushi told me to come to Toastmasters meetings with him, thinking the organization had nothing to offer me that I didnt already know, I finally gave in and went with him. It was a game changer. The public speaking platform with its willing listeners rekindled the fire in me, and I loved coming up with new ways to share my messages with my listeners, no matter what the topic of my current speech was. The connection that I had felt was dwindling with my high school students was alive and well with my peers in Toastmasters.

Together

Together, we continued to learn and thrive within the organization, and our newly found joy spread to other areas in our lives as well. We began organizing youth leadership programs, aimed at first at coaxing our own children out of their shells, but now primarily at encouraging the younger generation to develop speaking and leadership skills.

We feel that in todays world, with our reliance on technological gadgets and advances, people are losing the ability to interact with others and simply connect. This is not a skill that we can afford to lose. It is highly likely, in fact, that those who possess the ability to connect with others will be among the most successful people in the future. Successful communication is a requirement for leading. But what seems to be missing from many peoples effort to communicate is an effort to connect. Connecting is a requirement for success.

We have approached our journey of learning to become better communicators and presenters as a task that needs to be tackled using many different strategies. Think of it as planning a trip across the country; you would not simply enter the final address into your GPS and start driving. Instead, you would explore maps to see what your options are and where you would stop along the way. You would research places to visit along the way as well as at your destination, get feedback from others about where to go or where to eat, and determine where to spend the night. You might have to check your budget in order to evaluate your options. In the end, the proper preparation could turn your trip into the most epic one of your life.

This is the road we have been traveling. We are learning from experience, by giving presentations in a variety of settings (most, at this point, out of the realm of Toastmasters) and experiencing first-hand what works and what doesnt. Or what works sometimes but not other times, and why there might be a difference in how our presentations are received. We are also learning from observation, by attending and analyzing presentations of others. Finally, we are learning from experts, by attending lectures and by reading books and articles written by those who have uncovered the secrets of successful communication strategies.

While using all of these different approaches, we have uncovered what good communicators do in order to connect with their listeners. And we want to share our knowledge with you, so that you can implement the strategies to connect with those around you, both on a professional and personal level.

This book is divided into three parts. In Part I , we explain how to construct logical arguments that are clear and persuasive. This part provides basic information that is crucial to ensuring that listeners are able to identify the key points of your presentation without being distracted or confused. If you are new to dipping your toes into the public speaking waters, then Part I will give you the means to get off to a running start. At times, you may feel like Part I reads too much like a textbook, but bear with us, because we have good reason to present the information in this way. We have experienced in the classroom, during Youth Leadership programs, and during workshops that a solid grasp on how to construct a logical argument is a prerequisite to building on top of your foundation. If you are an experienced speaker, you can work through Part I quickly, but we advise against skipping it, first because it is always a good practice to review the basics, but also because you may pick up some nuggets that you have never considered before.

Part II is the main reason we wrote this book. We have seen many experienced speakers missing the mark when it comes to connecting with the audience, failing to persuade or inspire even though their message is worthy. There are a number of things that contribute to such failure, and we have constructed a framework that will elevate your presentations to higher levels and turn you into an outstanding speaker who IS able to connect with audiences.