Fr. Dominic J. Unger - The Mystery of Love for the Single

The Mystery of
Love for the
Single

A Guide for those
Who Follow the
Single Vocation in the
World

Fr. Dominic J. Unger

Nihil Obstat:	Very Rev. Firmin Schmidt, O.F.M. Cap.
Censor Librorum
Imprimi Potest:	Very Rev. Claude Vogel, O.F.M. Cap.
Minister Provincial, Province of St. Augustine
Imprimatur		Samuel Cardinal Stritch
Archbishop of Chicago
April 2, 1958

Copyright 1958 by Franciscan Herald Press, Chicago.

Reprinted in 2005 by TAN Books and Publishers, Inc.

ISBN 0-89555-824-6

Cover images: St. Joseph MoscatiDitta Roberta Russo, Napoli; Pauline JaricotPhoto Jean-Loup Charmet, Missi.

Cover design by Sebrina Higdon.

TAN Books
Charlotte, North Carolina
www.TANBooks.com
2005

"But I would have you to be without solicitude. He that is without a wife, is solicitous for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please God. But he that is with a wife, is solicitous for the things of the world, how he may please his wife: and he is divided ."

1 Corinthians 7:32-33

"I HAVE BEEN espoused to Him whom the Angels serve, at whose beauty the sun and moon are in admiration. My Lord Jesus Christ has given me His ring as a pledge, and has adorned me with a wreath as His spouse."

Words of St. Agnes
From the Mass for the
Consecration of Virgins
(See pp. 55, 79)

CONTENTS

"And I John saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband ."

Apocalypse 21:2

PREFACE

E VEN IN OUR SMALLER PARISHES THERE ARE MEN AND WOMEN who never intend to get married. In our larger parishes there are many such people. And the number of these is growing. Some must remain unmarried by force of circumstances. But today many are freely choosing this vocation because they are interested in a career that is less compatible with married life.

Many, indeed, of these single men and women grasp the dignity of their vocation and live it courageously and cheerfully. They do not waste their years in regret for not having been able to marry or for having passed by the vocation of marriage. Nor do they devote themselves merely to a career. They dedicate themselves primarily to a more intimate and undivided love of Christ and His Mystical Body. Some people live their single lives in the world with inner joy and peace, it is true; but they seem to have a sense of inferiority.

The present book is an attempt to help such generous souls to appreciate the excellence of their vocation as a true calling of Christ, and to realize the greatest personal merit and social blessings from that vocation. The book has in mind not only women but men as well. So throughout the work both men and women are referred to, even though only the masculine nouns and pronouns are used, or even though only the feminine pronoun is used with "virgin" or "bride," unless the very nature of the statement limits the matter to either sex.

There are single people who live a life of perfect chastity and of devotion to fellow men, but who leave the door of their heart ajar, if ever so slightly, so that if some one who would seem to be the fulfillment of a dream should come along, he or she may enter. For those this book is not written, unless it be as an invitation to consider the more excellent vocation of closing the door completely and dedicating themselves to Christ irrevocably in perfect chastity.

Neither does this work aim at describing the destiny of the single man and woman in the modern world, namely, in regard to their contributions to society by careers. Much less does it propose doing this for the single woman alone. Not that such a book, if still unwritten, would not be most desirable and useful. It would, indeed. But that is not my present field of interest. I am interested in the single vocation of people in the world who have determined to dedicate their lifetime to Christ in perfect chastity. For such a person his or her career and contribution to society is great, but his or her perfect dedication to Christ and contribution of glory to Christ is greater, just as charity toward God is greater than charity toward fellow men. And these people deserve to have the subject treated directly from their viewpoint, instead of being touched upon only indirectly or by way of appendix in a general treatise on virginity, which is meant directly or chiefly for the clergy and religious.

We shall, however, devote some attention to the question of the apostolic life and career of the Christ-dedicated bachelor and virgin, first, to meet the objection that the single life of a bachelor or virgin is selfish and anti-social; secondly, to explain how such single people can really make an immense contribution to society as well as to the Church. A more specific treatment of the contribution of men and especially of women to society in the modern world is beyond the scope of this book.

At first reading certain sections of this book might seem to advocate segregating single people from the society in which they live. Nothing could be further from the truth. True, the vocation of single persons in perfect chastity in the world is a distinct vocation. As such it distinguishes single persons from the married, and this has some effects also on their social life. It would be a mistake, however, to think that such single people are to be completely segregated from society, though living in it, perhaps as a kind of secret society of their own with an anti-social attitude. As we shall explain at length, they are to live in the world just as their married brothers and sisters, and through a career they are to make their contribution to society and to the Church, though by their inner spiritual calling and striving they are distinct from the rest.

This book is meant primarily for those single people in the world who never intend to marry; but it can be adapted by widows and widowers, and penitents too. It can be useful even to those whose marriage partner has deserted permanently and irreparably, thus leaving them bound by a valid bond but forced to live a single life in regard to chastity.

To prevent the book from taking on too formidable an appearance, I have tried to keep the footnotes to a minimum. I should like here to make a general acknowledgment of special indebtedness to three studies: Dietrich von Hildenbrand, In Defense of Purity: An Analysis of the Catholic Ideals of Purity and Virginity (New York, Sheed and Ward, 1934, 196 pp.), Francisco de B. Vizmanos, S.J., Las Vrgenes Cristianas de la Iglesia Primitiva: Estudio histrico-ideolgico seguido de una Antologa de tratados patrsticos sobre la virginidad (Madrid, Biblioteca de Autores Cristianos, 1949, xxiv-1306 pp.), Bishop Josephus Meile, Die Jungfrulichen Seelen in der Welt (Drittenordenszentrale, Schwyz, 1950, 383 pp.).

It is hoped that the book may be at least a weak instrument in the hands of the Divine Bridegroom to help people to choose this vocation and to live it wisely, joyfully, and fruitfully, in preparation for the heavenly life of more intimate love and deeper joy with Jesus Christ, through endless ages.

T HE A UTHOR

May 1, 1957

Feast of St. Joseph
the Worker

C HAPTER O NE

The Mystery of God's Love for Man

G OD IS LOVE. T HAT IS THE MOST PROFOUND AND PREGNANT description of God that has ever been given. It was inspired by God Himself in the First Letter of St. John, the Beloved Disciple. "God is love," he repeated several times (1 John 4,8.16).

God is love in Himself. God loves Himself with an infinite love. That is a very profound mystery. In the Most Blessed Trinity there is the Father, who in an ineffable manner eternally begets the Son, and loves this Son of His with an infinite love. The Son on His part loves the Father with an infinite love. This mutual, infinite love of the Father and the Son is eternal: it had no beginning; it will have no end. This mutual, infinite, eternal love of the Father and the Son is the Third Person of the Blessed Trinity, the Holy Spirit. He is the Spirit of love, because He proceeds from both the Father and the Son by way of love.

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