Adrian van Kaam - Am I Living a Spiritual Life?

Am I Living a Spiritual Life?

Questions and Answers for Those Who Pray

Susan Muto and Adrian van Kaam

SOPHIA INSTITUTE PRESS
Manchester, New Hampshire

Am I Living a Spiritual Life? is a revised version of the original edition, published in 1978 by Dimension Books, Inc., Denville, New Jersey.

Copyright 2006 Epiphany Association, Susan Muto and Adrian van Kaam

Printed in the United States of America

All rights reserved

Biblical citations are taken from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible ( 1971 by Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America).

Cover design by Theodore Schluenderfritz

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

Sophia Institute Press
Box 5284, Manchester, NH 03108
1-800-888-9344
www.SophiaInstitute.com

Imprimi potest:
Rev. Philip J. Haggerty, C.S.Sp.,
Provincial

Nihil obstat:
Rev. William J. Winter, S.T.D.,
Censor librorum

Imprimatur:
Most Rev. Vincent M. Leonard, D.D.,
Bishop of Pittsburgh
June 1978

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Muto, Susan Annette.
Am I living a spiritual life? : questions and answers for those who pray / by Susan Muto and Adrian van Kaam ;
foreword by Adrian van Kaam. [Rev. version].
p. cm.ISBN-13: 978-1-933184-21-0 (pbk. : alk. paper)
1. Spiritual life Catholic Church Miscellanea. I. Van Kaam, Adrian L., 1920- II. Title.BX2350.3.M878 2006
248.482 dc22200600879606 07 08 09 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

OTHER BOOKS BY SUSAN MUTO AND ADRIAN VAN KAAM

Aging Gracefully

The Emergent Self

Dynamics of Spiritual Direction

Formation of the Christian Heart

Foundations of Christian Formation

Harnessing Stress: A Spiritual Quest

Christian Articulation of the Mystery

Growing through the Stress of Ministry

Commitment: Key to Christian Maturity

Guidelines to Becoming Spiritually Mature

Formation Guide for Becoming Spiritually Mature

Divine Guidance: Seeking to Find and Follow the Will of God

The Commandments: Ten Ways to a Happy Life and a Healthy Soul

Epiphany Manual on the Art and Discipline of Formation-in-Common

Healthy and Holy Under Stress: A Royal Road to Wise Living

Womans Guide to the Catechism of the Catholic Church

The Power of Appreciation: A New Approach to Personal and Relational Healing

Readings from A to Z: The Poetry of Epiphany

Stress and the Search for Happiness

Practicing the Prayer of Presence

Songs for Every Season

The Participant Self

Tell Me Who I Am

Foreword

by Adrian van Kaam

All people are called to discover the unique form God wants to give to their lives. For Christians this means that they have to find their unique life form in Christ. Its not only a question of gradually discovering the form my life has to take but of allowing my daily existence to be an answer to this call.

My deepest desire is to be someone unique who lasts forever. A secret yearning for eternity wells up from the core of my being. I seek something lasting amidst the transitoriness of my countless self-expressions. What lasts is my spiritual or fundamental self. This core self isnt of my own making; its Gods gift to me, not a gift that I have but the gift that I am. God first loved me into being as a new emergent self, unique on this earth. He continues to call me lovingly to the unique-communal life form meant for me from eternity. I must answer this call to be myself by commitment and ongoing self-formation, by a life that offers to God a wholehearted yes. This yes to the gift and burden of ongoing self-formation is the foundation of my spiritual life.

For most of us the formative meaning of life reveals itself only bit by bit in the act of living. As I ponder in prayerful presence what happens to me, in me, and around me, slowly a certain direction might emerge. I see a line; a hidden consistency makes itself known. The more this direction clarifies itself, the more I become aware of what kind of self-formation is in harmony with the heart of my existence.

In the center of my being, God keeps communicating to me in love the true form he wants my life to take. He speaks mainly through the circumstances he allows in my life. This book is meant to help you remain in dialogue with this voice of the Lord. Its aim is to assist you in finding the thread that holds the events of life together in this graced disclosure of what God calls you to be. Im not forced to say yes to this gift of disclosure. God=s call in the life situation doesnt compel a response. He waits with infinite gentleness and patience for my reply.

The mystery of my deepest identity cant be found by means of a test or a clinical interview. The ultimate guide I have is the underlying consistency of my life and its harmony with scripture, Church doctrine, and the wisdom of the spiritual masters. As I discover increasingly who I am before God, my life becomes more consistent. In the light of doctrine, the scriptures, traditional wisdom, and personal inspiration, I can come to see what is the best option among the different life choices offered to me. This book illustrates this path by reflections on the many questions people ask themselves while seeking their way in the situations they face daily. We hope these questions and answers will help you to be more in touch with yourself and your hidden calling.

I might not always be able to defend my options with arguments that cant be refuted by the rational mind. It might be impossible for others to understand that a choice I made can be right for me. Its only in the long run that a chain of inspired decisions might begin to make sense. They become meaningful in the total formative orientation that my emergent self begins to manifest.

Its often only in retrospect that people discover the hidden consistency of the many seemingly disparate choices theyve made over a long period.

One condition for the ongoing discovery of the form my life should take in the eyes of God is the ability to distance myself from the circumstances in which I find myself or from the problems or tasks in which Im involved. I must grasp who Im called to be both in and beyond my actual life situation. The responses in this book to similar questions by believers and sincere seekers can help you to gain this ability for distancing in service of deeper self-formation. If there are apparent changes in my life, it isnt because God=s call has changed but because my knowledge of this call has expanded and deepened during the history of my self-formation. Since I cant know and enflesh my call at once, formation is ongoing; its never achieved but is forever being achieved.

To find the life form that best expresses the call of the Lord, I might have to go through the way of trial and error. Before I commit myself to an answer to the question any life situation poses, I have to ask what answer is really the best one for me. The necessity of wise questioning can lead to a crisis. All commitment evokes the fear of making a mistake. Because of this fear, I might get stuck in an excessively prolonged period of trial and error. In that case I might not come to an answer at all. The impulsive attempt to end the period of doubt prematurely by a sudden willful decision only makes matters worse.

Both excessive delay and impulsive decision might imply unfaithfulness to our unique-communal life call. This book presents responses based on universal human experience so that you may neither delay your answer to the situation nor respond impulsively without sufficient prayerful reflection and the graced guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Next page