Christina Chase - It’s Good To Be Here: A Disabled Womans Reflections on God in the Flesh and the Sacred Wonder of Being Human

Christina Chase

Its Good
to Be Here

A Disabled Womans Reflections
on God in the Flesh and the
Sacred Wonder of Being Human

SOPHIA INSTITUTE PRESS
Manchester, New Hampshire

Copyright 2019 by Christina Chase

Printed in the United States of America. All rights reserved.

Cover by LUCAS Art & Design, Jenison, MI.

Cover image (769309027) W. Phokin / Shutterstock.

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Bible, revised edition 2010, 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, D.C. and are used by permission of the copyright owner. All Rights Reserved. No part of the New American Bible may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

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eBook ISBN 978-1-64413-108-4

Dedicated to the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
in thanksgiving for
my amazing, self-giving parents,
Dan and Francine,
who have helped me to know that I am loved,
and for Carole, Carl, Matthew, and Nathan,
who are also loving wonders in my life

The glory of God is a human being fully alive, and the life of a human being is the beholding of God. St. Irenaeus, Against Heresies , bk. 4, 20:7

Contents

Crippled: A Preface

This little book contains reflections from a human person who loves the gift of life, with all of its fearful wonder, and who is diseased and disabled. These personal reflections, both the long and the short of them, some adapted from blog posts and some written specifically for this book, have as their focus the loving wonder of life the meaning of being human and the amazing privilege, goodness, and sacred joy of being here in Gods Creation. Christ, who is both fully divine and fully human, shows us not only who God is, but also who we are in the divine living of His little life on Earth. After all, this is the place where God, the Creator of the universe, chose to live in the flesh .

Like a little manger, crudely fashioned by human hands, the pages of this book hold God Incarnate, God in the flesh, in the fragile state of His humanity, full of newness, wonder, and love of life. The Creator of all chose to become a helpless and dependent creature, experiencing our suffering, our sorrows, and our delights because He infinitely loves each and every one of us and wants to pull us ever more intimately into the power and bliss of His divine love.

I know that I cannot do Christ justice all that I can do is simply love Him. In loving Him, however, I realize my true identity and reason for being human, and Im filled with the wonder and goodness of being alive. Beginning with the wonder of created life and our human need for divine love, this book chronologically explores Christs life on Earth, from conception, through infancy, adolescence, and adulthood, ending with Christs present life among us in the world. Each section is introduced with a personal reflection on some aspect of my own little life on Earth, because God became incarnate in order to unite Himself wholly with us in our little lives.

My life is very little. In the subtitle of this book, I have identified myself as a disabled woman, but I often refer to myself as a cripple. My genetic, lifespan-shortening disease (SMA type II) makes me physically dependent on others and incredibly weak certainly a cripple. (Forget political correctness.) Although, if we met in person, my crumpled, crippled body in a wheelchair would probably be the first thing that you would notice about me, I dont share this fact as an introduction to who I am for I am so much more than what my body cant do. We are not meant to define ourselves by our limitations, but always, in wise humility and desire for truth, we are meant to acknowledge them with love. Everybody is unique, but I have always known and felt my rarity because of my progressive muscle-wasting disease. Being so obviously different from other people gives me an unusual perspective on what it truly means to be fully human.

All humans are limited by virtue of being creatures: we cannot exist without definitions, boundaries. We are all dependent on God, our Source, and on Gods Creation and every human person is helpless in the face of forces beyond our control. In our pride, we like to think that we can control anything and everything that we put our minds to and that we should exist independently, self-sufficient and autonomous, made for our own finite ends. But we are made for endless glory we are made for divine love. Through our self-centeredness, we often miss this mark. We sin. Our pride hinders us from living the fullness of reality.

And so, we are all cripples.

Nobody can walk through this life unaided.

And none of us, through our own power, can stand in the presence of God.

In the full embrace of truth, I know that all of us who live and breathe as part of this fearsomely wonderful Creation are crippled in some way. We desire. We need. We lack. With our struggles and sufferings, our stories might be tragic but for the fact that we are infinitely loved . This love is the source of our human dignity. Our true joy and fulfillment abide in the receiving and giving of divine love, now and forever.

For God so loves the world that He became one of us, incarnate. O Wonder of wonders! Our fears He lived, and He showed us that we need not be afraid. Even the less-than-wonderful aspects of being human have been made sacred and terribly beautiful because God Himself has lived them in the flesh . Almighty God became human to raise us to the divine, both now, in the living of life here on this blessed earth, and forever, in the perfect glory of Gods love.

Here I Am, Lord

On the Wonder of Being:
The Mystery of the Incarnation,
the Nativity of Christ, and the Hidden Years,
Introduced by My X-Ray Image

Fearfully and Wonderfully

One look at my weak, twisted body, and its pretty obvious that Im a mess.

Chatting and laughing with my family doctor at a regular appointment one day, I took the time to look closely at my X-ray images, and even I was a bit shocked by what I saw. My ribs and right hip have extensive deformities; the spine in my thorax is nearly horizontal and rotated so that the spinal cord is on the side; and the vertebrae are misshapen, lacking discs to cushion, and riddled with arthritis. Deeply studying the images of my bones as a woman near forty, having lived my original life expectancy three times over, I said aloud, How does that not hurt more?

And I wondered to myself: How am I alive?

Conceived with a particular genetic flaw, a defect unwittingly passed on to me by both of my parents, I have a crippling disease called Spinal Muscular Atrophy, which causes a severe shriveling up of muscles as my motor nerve cells progressively deteriorate. Born into the world a seemingly healthy baby, my body slowly weakened every year, never able to walk, losing gross and fine motor skills, and collapsing upon itself with severe scoliosis. My weak neck is bent over with my sharply S-shaped spine so that, as I sit crumpled up in my wheelchair, my head rests heavily upon my left shoulder and hunched back.

Never having walked, I cant say that I miss the ability, but that doesnt mean that I dont want it. I most certainly want it. Still, its the progressive collapsing and weakening of my body that is the worst part of the disease. The yearly losses of strength and abilities lifting up my arms, feeding myself, brushing my own teeth, breathing without labor these are the hardest things to bear. Hard to bear is an understatement. The difficulties, disappointments, and deteriorations can be overwhelming... and sad. Terrifyingly sad. The circumstances of my life altered my childhood, undermined my teenage years, and rendered me into an adult who is completely dependent upon others for everyday survival. My body has been wracked with the pain of angry weeping, my bones crying out with shuddering grief, and my mind seized with the heartache of my life. And yet...

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