Patrick Madrid - Life Lessons: Fifty Things I Learned in my First Fifty Years

Fifty Things I Learned in
My First Fifty Years

Patrick Madrid

Ignatius Press-Augustine Institute

San Francisco Greenwood Village, CO

Ignatius Press Distribution

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Fort Collins, CO 80522

Tel: (800) 651-1531

www.ignatius.com

Augustine Institute

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Tel: (866) 767-3155

www.augustineinstitute.org

All Scripture contained herein is from the
Revised Standard Version, Second Catholic Edition
2000 and 2006 by the Division of Christian Education
of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the
United States of America. All rights reserved.

Cover Design: Christopher Murphy

Copyright 2016 Patrick Madrid
ISBN: 978-1-62164-114-8 (PB)
ISBN: 978-1-68149-706-8 (EB)
All rights reserved.
Printed in the United States of America

Someday, youll understand is an admonition Ive heard countless times over the years. Unfortunately, when I was younger and dumber or in too much of a hurry to get on with my life, I paid this concept scant attention.

I wish I had listened. I wish I had paid attention when people who had been on this planet a lot longer than memen and women who had traveled farther down the highway of life than I had or whod been dinged up pretty bad by adversity, affliction, or their own bad decisionsbothered to try and help me with a kind (or sometimes harsh) word of advice.

Yeah, well, someday is a long way away, Id often think to myself. Ive got all the time in the world. Well, life doesnt work that way, I eventually discovered. You see, as anyone with enough gray in his hair will tell you, time marches on. Time waits for no man. Time is of the essence. Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin into the future, as someone once put it.

All of which means that theres no time like the present to learn a good lesson. Or a few. Or fifty of them, as the case may be. I wrote this book as a kind of monument to all the times Ive said to myself, sometimes wistfully, sometimes ruefully, If only I knew then what I know now.

Perhaps something shared in these pages will be useful to you and maybe even save you some time and trouble or heartache. Thats my sincere prayer.

Anyone whos lived more than fifty years (Ill turn fifty-six soon) has surely learned far more than fifty important lessons, as is true for me. And, as you might expect, some of my lifes lessons arent appropriate for sharing here, not because they werent meaningful or life-changing, but because Im not nearly as brave as St. Augustine was when he wrote his classic autobiography, The Confessions , and let it all hang out. So, Ive passed over in a discrete silence some of lifes more distinctive pitfalls and entanglements that Ive lived to tell about but that I have chosen to tell only to God and my confessor. That is as it should be, I believe. Something true for all of us, in the mercy and grace of Gods loving providence.

Heres a bonus lesson before you get started:

God loves you just the way you are, but he loves you too much to let you stay that way.

If that little thought doesnt hit home right now, if it doesnt kind of bonk you on the head and shake you up a little, dont worry. Eventually, it will. Someday, youll understand.

Patrick Madrid, 1966

S OME YEARS ago, as I pulled my rental car into the parking lot of the Catholic parish where I would be giving a lecture that evening, I glanced up at the large, new non-denominational Protestant church standing prominently on a nearby hill. What caught my eye was a large banner stretched across its facade that read in big, bold letters: GUILT SHOW.

Guilt show? Whats a guilt show? I asked myself, puzzled by the enigmatic message. It didnt take long, though, before I had figured it out. Those Protestants up there on that hill were mocking Catholics, I reasoned indignantly. The folks who attend this parish have to see that banner every time they come to Mass. Why else would it be so prominently displayed?

Guilt show must obviously express those peoples disdain for the Catholic Sacrament of Penance. After all, those Protestants believe in the doctrine of eternal security: once saved, always saved. In other words, that true Christians cannot lose their salvation. They regard the Catholic emphasis on guilt, examining ones conscience, and confession to be wrong and unbiblical. So I was certain that thats what the banner meant. Clearly, those Protestants up on the hill were mocking Catholics!

I asked the parish secretary what she thought it meant. Oh, I never really noticed it, she said. But when I explained what I thought it meant a look of dismay crossed her face. It had never occurred to her that the next-door neighbors up the hill might be making fun of her and her fellow Catholics.

I decided to take the bull by the horns and call the Protestant church to ask them directly about the banner.

Hi, Im from out of town, I told the friendly receptionist who answered the phone, and I am curious about the banner you have out front. What does guilt show mean? Is it intended to be some kind of message for Catholics?

Guilt show? she asked, befuddled by my question. She paused for a moment and then said, Oh, you mean the Quilt Show banner, she chuckled. Yes, were hosting a quilt show here next weekend and everyones invited.

Boy, did I feel stupid.

Sheepishly, I explained that the banner must have been folded a littlejust enough to make the Q in quilt look like a G as in guilt. She said shed have the janitor smooth it out so it would read properly.

I thanked her and hung up, ashamed of myself for having so quickly jumped to the (totally erroneous) conclusion that those Protestants up on their hill were taunting Catholics. In my haste to account for the banner I had assumed ill will on their part, concluding without any evidence that their motives were dishonorable.

I had done, albeit in a minor way, exactly what Jesus tells us not to do:

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brothers eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, Let me take the speck out of your eye, when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brothers eye. (Mt 7:1-5)

The memory of that incident has never left me. Many times since, when I have been tempted to assume the worst of others based solely on appearances, or impute bad motives to someone who disagrees with me, or judge other peoples hearts, Ive thought of that banner.

Maybe God intended it to read GUILT SHOW just for me. After all, it showed me I had something in my eye.

Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment (Jn 7:24).

O NE EVENING, on my commute home from a long day at the office, I stopped at a gas station / mini-market to refuel and grab a cup of coffee. As I got to the entrance, a bedraggled young man of about twenty stepped nervously toward me from the shadows.

Please, sir... he said in a low, faltering voice. We locked eyes for an instant. I sized him up before glancing away with a grimace of irritation. He seemed kind of scared, as if he were about to cry. Ashamed of begging, perhaps.