Cindy Bunch - Be Kind to Yourself: Releasing Frustrations and Embracing Joy

The only true gift is a portion of oneself writes Ralph Waldo Emerson, and this, to me, is an apt description of what Cindy has done in the book you hold in your hand. She has shared with us generous portions of herselfher own story, her honest struggles, and the practices that have helped her endure and find joy in the midst of it all. Since all of us have our own stories that include joy and pain, gladness and sadness, this is something we all need.

I love that this book is ordered around the general practice of self-kindness, an idea we hear very little about these days and yet is sorely needed. Most of us have lived so long in highly judgmental and overly evaluative environments, we might wonder if self-kindness is even allowed. But the truth is if we just learned how to practice this, we would be changed! And, as Cindy so wisely points out, so would our relationships, because being tender with ourselves begets tenderness and consideration toward others.

This book is deeply encouraging because it offers us small, simple practices that can have a big impact if we let them. From the shame-free examen to the visio divina walk to the songs that bring you joy playlist or even the practice of smashing things (!) to release grief and anger, this work offers a plethora of practices that require nothing more than shifting our focus and recalibrating our thoughts, attitudes, and intentions for loving and spiritual purposes. Cindys intimate and fresh insights, combined with specific and concrete practices, make for wise spiritual guidance.

A very personal joy for me in perusing this book is Cindys reflections on the practice of spiritual direction in general and the impact of Marilyn Stewarts life and ministry specifically. In Marilyn I found a cherished spiritual friendship that spanned over twenty years as well as a role model who continually inspired my own ministry. Reading Cindys reflections on what Marilyn meant to her during a harrowing season of her own journey is a great gift to all of us who knew and loved Marilyn.

Finally, I am convinced that the art, photography, and creative exercises woven as a thread throughout this work will be a blessing to manyincluding (and maybe even most especially!) those who do not think of themselves as creative or artistic. Since we are all made in the image of the One who created and is creating, there is something in each of us that is capable of giving ourselves over to the creative process as one aspect of being in relationship with our creator God. My hope is that all who find themselves with this book in their hands will engage the practicesall of themincluding the ones that involve art and creativity. I pray you will be kind to yourself and stretch yourself. I promise, you wont regret it!

Notice when you are bugged. That statement stopped me short as I was reading. The things that bug me can form a low hum in my brain throughout a day. They can spoilor threaten to spoilthe other lovely moments of the day.

I found these words in the manuscript for Gem and Alan Fadlings book What Does Your Soul Love? in a section where they were describing how we place ourselves in a state of openness before God. In my work as an editor, I get to read wonderful books and interact with some very wise souls. When I am reading in manuscript form, I am often in professional mode, thinking of the structure of the book, how the audience will receive it, and so on. But sometimes a line or section jumps out to me. Then I know those words are for me. It is God offering me a nudge in the midst of the workday.

I took that statement and made it into a question. Then I decided to make it a part of a daily practice. I would think about the past day and write down the answer to just two questions:

1. . Whats bugging you?

2. . Whats bringing you joy?

Creating that simple practice has been a great help to me. As I lean into it, I see where I am hooked into negative thought patterns about myself or others and recognize what I need to let go of. I also see what brings me joy. And each day brings a new opportunity to lean into that as well. The more I understand about whats bugging me and free myself of that, the more I am able to embrace opportunities for joy. Its part of what I am learning about being kind to myself.