Contents
Landmarks
Print Page List
![PRAISE FOR I Love Jesus But I Want to Die Ive battled the dragon of depression - photo 1](/uploads/posts/book/284963/images/9780593193532_cover.jpg)
PRAISE FOR
I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die
Ive battled the dragon of depression ever since I was in college, so I know firsthand how painful it can be. And because Ive been a churchgoer since childhood, I also know how ill-equipped most churches are to help people survive it, much less fight it. I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die is a tender, practical guide for people of faith who struggle with depression. It weaves together vulnerable storytelling with simple practices to help you love yourself well, even when the dark cloud grows thick. Sarah Robinson has written a book I have needed for years. My only disappointment is that it didnt exist sooner.
Jonathan Merritt, contributing writer for The Atlantic and author of Learning to Speak God from Scratch
This book is a beautiful heartbreak, a necessary look at the hard stuff wed rather avoid talking about, and one we need now more than ever. For those struggling for a reason to keep going, and for those who love them, this is a must-read.
Jeff Goins, bestselling author of The Art of Work
The way Sarah blends her personal story with helpful suggestions makes I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die an important read for anyone wanting to learn or understand more about the ways faith and suicidality can interact. Whether youre someone with similar experiences, a caring friend, or someone wanting to make your faith community safer for others, this book is for you.
Robert Vore, therapist, co-host of the podcast CXMH: On Faith & Mental Health, and human being who has been suicidal while believing in Jesus
In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah Robinson brings her hard-earned wisdom and the compassionate heart of a fellow traveler to the page. Sarahs words are a needed and helpful guide for folks who are navigating the difficult terrain of depression, trauma, and mental illnesswhile also looking for ways to experience Jesus in the midst of the storm. Its my privilege to highly recommend this important book.
Aundi Kolber, licensed therapist and author of Try Softer
In this book, Robinson places a candle in the middle of our darkness. By talking about the things Christians have too long kept hidden and hushed, she gives us room to hear our truest name: Beloved.
K. J. Ramsey, licensed professional counselor and author of This Too Shall Last: Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers
There are excellent books about depression and suicidal thoughts, and even a few written by those with lived experience, but I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die is a one-of-a-kind book. Sarah Robinson opens to us the journal she kept during some of her worst days, giving the reader a tender glimpse of her intense struggles and suffering, as well as the beautiful hope she has found over time, without trying to tie a pretty bow around serious depression. This is a book to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized, or over-spiritualized. This is a really good book.
Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church
![I Love Jesus But I Want to Die All Scripture quotations unless otherwise - photo 2](/uploads/posts/book/284963/images/9780593193532_title_page.jpg)
I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version ), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked ( NLT ) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a division of Tyndale House Ministries, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked ( NKJV ) are taken from the New King James Version . Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked ( NIV ) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version , NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. (www.zondervan.com). The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica Inc. Scripture quotations marked ( KJV ) are taken from the King James Version. Scripture quotations marked ( MSG ) are taken from The Message. Copyright 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, a division of Tyndale House Ministries. Scripture quotations marked ( GNT ) are taken from the Good News Translation in Todays English VersionSecond Edition. Copyright 1992 by American Bible Society. Used by permission. Scripture quotations marked ( NASB ) are taken from the New American Standard Bible , copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org).
Italics in Scripture quotations reflect the authors added emphasis.
Details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.
Copyright 2021 by Sarah J. Robinson
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by WaterBrook, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC.
WaterBrook and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Robinson, Sarah J., author.
Title: I love Jesus, but I want to die : finding hope in the darkness of depression / Sarah J. Robinson.
Description: First edition. | Colorado Springs : WaterBrook, [2021] | Includes bibliographical references.
Identifiers: LCCN 2020048250 | ISBN 9780593193525 (trade paperback) | ISBN 9780593193532 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Depressed personsReligious life. | Depression, MentalReligious aspectsChristianity. | SuicideReligious aspectsChristianity.
Classification: LCC BV4910.34 .R625 2021 | DDC 248.8/628dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020048250
Ebook ISBN9780593193532
waterbrookmultnomah.com
Title page and part-title page images: copyright iStock.com/FORGEM
Cover design: Sarah Horgan
Cover images: Bipsun/Shutterstock (watercolor), A.Rom/Shutterstock (torn paper)
ep_prh_5.7.0_c0_r1
Contents
Dearest Reader,
I am so grateful for your presence in this precious moment and for your willingness to begin this book. Regardless of how this book has crossed your path, the pages ahead contain some of the most honest and tender reflections from one womans journey navigating the intersection of faith and mental health.
Over the last several years, weve heard more courageous and heartbreaking stories surface alongside a growing amount of research that indicates our faith and mental health are interwoven in complex ways. As someone who has examined this intersection for more than a decade, I sense that these stories and studies are beginning to heal the complicated and unfortunately common divide between faith communities and mental health professions. Sarahs willingness to share her story and wisdom from lived experience helps us heal this division and empowers each of us to see these areas of our lives not as