Tess Whitehurst - The Self-Love Superpower: The Magical Art of Approving of Yourself (No Matter What)

Llewellyn Publications

Woodbury, Minnesota

Copyright Information

The Self-Love Superpower: The Magical Art of Approving of Yourself (No Matter What) 2021 by Tess Whitehurst.

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First e-book edition 2021

E-book ISBN: 9780738767772

Book design by Samantha Peterson

Cover design by Shira Atakpu

Editing by Marjorie Otto

Llewellyn Publications is an imprint of Llewellyn Worldwide Ltd.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data (Pending)

ISBN: 978-0-7387-6752-9

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Llewellyn Publications

Llewellyn Worldwide Ltd.

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Woodbury, MN 55125

www.llewellyn.com

Manufactured in the United States of America

Contents

Action Steps
(Exercises)

Self-Love: What Is It?

Now Is the Only Time

How to Be Kind to Yourself

Lets Forget about Being Awesome

Compliments Are Complicated

Boundaries Are Beautiful

Energetic Self-Care

Exceptionally Ordinary

Let Your Body Be

Shine Light on Your Shadow

Feel, Heal, and Be Free

How to Be a Rainbow

Remedies and Rituals for the Spiraling Path

Action Steps
(Exercises)

Disclaimer

The material in this book is not intended as a substitute for trained psychological advice. Readers are advised to consult their personal healthcare professionals regarding any counseling needs. The publisher and author assume no liability for any actions that may occur from the readers use of the content contained herein.

Acknowledgments

Gratitude to Ted Bruner, Molly Kate Seifert, Linda Konner, and Jonathan Kirsch. Gratitude also to Natasha Levinger, Melissa Tipton, and Tanya Carroll Richardson. In this solitary business, its good to have coworkers. And, of course, many thanks to everyone at Llewellyn for your help with this book and for your long-suffering support of my career. Finally, the biggest of all thank yous to Patrick: this ones for you.

Introduction

This book was inspired by a really bad birthday.

Last year, the week after my birthday rolled around, I shared on my podcast that I was so depressed on my birthday that I refused to go anywhere and, in fact, stayed in bed all day reading and crying. It wasnt until the next day, when my partner pretty much dragged me out of bed and into the car for a day trip, that I began to cheer up and get my energy back.

The following week, a podcast listener emailed to express her surprise that someone like mei.e., someone who is always writing books and blog posts about positivity and manifesting the life of your dreamswould still experience such a thing.

After I read the email, it hit me that Ive left something out of my books up to this pointsomething important. Ive neglected to sufficiently illustrate the imperfect nature of my personal path. And in the process, Ive neglected to sufficiently illustrate the imperfect nature of the spiritual path in general, which is synonymous with the path of self-compassion, self-approval, and self-love.

The truth is that none of us have this positivity thing mastered. All of us wake up depressed some days. Show me someone who isnt susceptible to a miserable mood, and Ill show you an action figure, or a cartoon character, or a mannequin. I dont care if youre Eckhart Tolle, Oprah, or the Dalai Lamaif youre a living person on Earth, youll have moments when you feel vulnerable, self-critical, angry, mopey, irritated, and afraid. Youll go to a party and youll feel like the odd person out. Youll go over and over something you said and worry that it sounded stupid, or whiney, or self-absorbed. Youll have moments when youre certain that no one likes you and you suspect everyones been whispering mean things about you behind your back.

Thats called being human.

Of course, being human can also involve feeling so much love or perceiving so much beauty you feel like your heart might burst. And the human experience can also include less extreme (but still completely wonderful) positive experiences, like feeling serene, centered, generous, hopeful, masterful, and calm.

And in my experience, theres one thing that can help us navigate the challenging aspects of this life and cultivate the pleasant and transcendent ones more than any other single thing. Thats self-love. When you learn to have compassion for yourself throughout it all and to forgive yourself for your imperfections and mistakesand even to have patience with yourself when you dont have compassion for yourself or forgive yourselfeverything in your life will benefit. And I mean everything.

As youll hear me say again and again throughout this book, learning to love yourself is a process. Its a journey, not a destination. Its a spiral, not a line. By the end of this book, you wont necessarily be a pro at self-love (because who is?), but you will be a pro at experiencing the journey of self-love. Youll be a pro at leaning into challenges and breathing through pain. Youll be a pro at having patience with your learning process and responding to problems and mistakes with self-care instead of self-loathing or self-criticism. And youll discover that this makes all the difference in the world.

Each chapter contains practical action steps. I highly recommend that you take them. It might be tempting to skip over some of them and just read the book straight through, marathon-style. But if you do that, youll be missing out. Youll be dipping your toe in the water but never diving in. Ive designed the exercises and rituals to help you integrate the information in an experiential way. So there will be moments as youre reading this book that youll want to put the book down for a bit so you can complete the action steps. Have fun with the exercises and approach them with a spirit of experimentation. And if an assignment seems extra tempting to skip for one reason or another, thats a good indication that it will be especially empowering for you to perform. So get curious about the mysterious blessings hiding behind the reluctance or boredom or fear (or whatever it is), and let that curiosity be an incentive to be proactive and power through. Youll be glad you did.