Advance Praise for
The Anxiety Sisters Survival Guide
Anxiety can make us feel hopeless and alone. This engaging guide offers support, insight, and practical techniques for breaking out of the cycle and coping better, every day.
Judson Brewer, MD, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of Unwinding Anxiety
If youre tired of feeling anxious and ready to make a change for a more peaceful life, this book can help you get there. The Anxiety Sisters Survival Guide is truly thata smart, funny, practical, and immensely helpful guide to getting a grip on your anxiety. There isnt a better book to help us tackle our anxiety-provoking world. Hope lives within these pages.
Claire Bidwell Smith, author of Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief
Whether you have a phobia, or youve always been a bit of a worry wart, this book can help you make sense of your anxiety.
Amy Morin, LCSW, psychotherapist and bestselling author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Dont Do
The Anxiety Sisters Survival Guide does for anxiety sufferers what The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy did for moms-to-be. Mags and Abs tell it like it is as they demystify anxiety, offer evidence-based solutions, and make you laugh when you might otherwise hyperventilate. Its like having your nonjudgmental BFF (who happens to be an expert in anxiety) on speed dial.
Shelley Emling, Editor-in-Chief of AARPs The Girlfriend and author of Marie Curie and Her Daughters
The Anxiety Sisters Survival Guide is the perfect blend of community, solidarity, and incredibly useful tools. As the sisters remind us, anxiety is a journey that many of us travel. But if we can travel it together with the knowledge and companionship that this book imparts, whether for ourselves or alongside our loved ones, we can all thrive despiteand because ofthe struggles we may have faced.
Alison Malmon, founder and executive director of Active Minds
This book has everything I want my own patients and their loved ones to know about anxiety in all forms. It is engaging, hilarious, accurate, informative, and most importantnecessary. Well done, my sisters in anxiety.
Nicole Knepper, M.A., LCPCclinical therapist and gerontologist, and author of Moms Who Drink and Swear: True Tales of Loving My Kids While Losing My Mind
An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC
penguinrandomhouse.com
Copyright 2021 by Anxiety Sisters, LLC
Illustrations by Simon Goodway
Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.
TarcherPerigee and tp colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Greenberg, Abbe, author. | Sarachek, Maggie, author.
Title: The anxiety sisters survival guide: how you can become more hopeful, connected, and happy / Abbe Greenberg and Maggie Sarachek.
Description: New York: TarcherPerigee, [2021] | Includes bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2021017306 (print) | LCCN 2021017307 (ebook) | ISBN 9780593329474 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780593329481 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Anxiety. | Anxiety disordersTreatment. | Adjustment (Psychology)
Classification: LCC BF575.A6 G6635 2021 (print) | LCC BF575.A6 (ebook) | DDC 152.4/6dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021017306
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021017307
Book design by Laura K. Corless, adapted for ebook by Estelle Malmed
Neither the publisher nor the authors are engaged in rendering professional advice or services to the individual reader. The ideas, procedures, and suggestions contained in this book are not intended as a substitute for consulting with your physician. All matters regarding your health require medical supervision. Neither the authors nor the publisher shall be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or suggestion in this book.
Cover design: Linet Huamn Velsquez
Cover images: (sun) Mimibubu / Shutterstock; (background) Andersboman / iStock / Getty Images Plus
pid_prh_5.8.0_c0_r0
We dedicate this book to the Anxiety Sisterhood:
Thank you for making us part of your lives, for sharing your stories, and for taking care of each other.
We could not have written this book without you.
contents
If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it.
TONI MORRISON
There is something inside of you that is greater than any obstacle.
CHRISTIAN D. LARSON
introduction
Youve come to the right place. Sit down. Grab a coffee (decaf, if youre anxious). Hang out with us for a while. We know what youre feeling because weve felt it too. We too have spent hours and hours looking through book titles, surfing the internet, combing through magazines, hoping to find answers or clues. We too have spent a small fortune (okay, not that small) seeing doctors, acupuncturists, therapists, hypnotists, nutritionists, and just about any other -ist. Weve looked for something to grab on to, even though we werent sure what it was we needed or where we could find it. We just knew we felt lousy and wanted to feel better.
Malcolm Gladwell, author of Outliers and, more recently, Talking to Strangers, wrote that to be an expert, one must practice for at least ten thousand hours. Weve tripled that. Weve practiced twenty thousand hoursthe equivalent of twenty yearssuffering from anxiety and another ten thousand learning how to manage it. Weve not only walked the walk, but weve huddled, heaved, hurled, sweated, palpitated, and hyperventilated our way through our life journeys: on planes, on trains, in cars, at weddings, at funerals, in grocery stores, on playgrounds, at work, at home, and at family gatherings. Been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt.
Weve spent at least a full year of our lives googling symptoms of diseases we didnt actually have (and some that dont actually exist). If there were a PhD in obsessive thinking, wed both have one. And if there is a more adept catastrophizer than us, we have yet to meet her. There was no molehill too tiny for our mountain-building skills. Put it this way: no paper cut went unwatched for signs of flesh-eating bacteria.
Kidding aside, anxiety is a very real illness and we really suffered for a long time. So how did we start to feel better? Recovery is messy and healing is not linear, so there arent four easy steps we can lay out for you (and dont trust anyone who claims he or she has such a plan). We approach anxiety not as a problem to be solved or a tumor to be excised, but rather as a part of who we are as human beings. Therefore, our goal is to live happily with our anxiety. This can only happen, however, if anxiety doesnt rule the roost. We began feeling better when we regained control over our own decisions and choices. This book is all about keeping