Connie Zweig - The Inner Work of Age

To Neil

who wears the face of the Beloved for me

To the grandchildren who are the future

The Inner Work of Age

This is a profound book. Take your time with it. You will find a broad range of ideas, interviews, and spiritual practices pointing to the inner work that we need to undertake for ourselves, our families, our communities, and our planet. Choose from among the vast array of insights and practices that Connie makes available to you and get to work.

THOMAS R. COLE, PH.D., MCGOVERN CHAIR IN MEDICAL HUMANITIES AT THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS HEALTH SCIENCE CENTER AT HOUSTON AND AUTHOR OF THE JOURNEY OF LIFE AND OLD MAN COUNTRY

The Inner Work of Age is an inspiring roadmap to uncover our motivations for what we do with our precious long lives. Even after many years of teaching positive aging and activism, this book has me questioning and exploring my inner self to consider my future choices.

LYNNE ISER, PRESIDENT OF ELDERS ACTION NETWORK, FOUNDING EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF SPIRITUAL ELDERING INSTITUTE, AND CERTIFIED SAGE-ING LEADER

We need stories of possibility. This is a rare book distilled from Connies deep and broad experience studying the leap from adulthood to elder-hood. When I read it, I knew I was in the presence of a wise guide.

RICHARD LEIDER, FOUNDER OF INVENTURETHE PURPOSE COMPANY AND AUTHOR OF THE POWER OF PURPOSE

Connie Zweig expands on my invitation to refirement. The Inner Work of Age offers us a veritable resource book on healthy aging and refiring of the soul that honors the rite of passage that eldership is and that our society neglects to its peril. I highly recommended her diligent and insightful contributions!

MATTHEW FOX, SPIRITUAL THEOLOGIAN, FOUNDER OF CREATION SPIRITUALITY, AND AUTHOR OF THE HIDDEN SPIRITUALITY OF MEN AND JULIAN OF NORWICH

Acknowledgments

To my parents, Tina and Mike Zweig, for the love and the wisdom that was transmitted every day. To my sister, Jane, for the growing and deepening loving friendship between us.

To SGR, for stimulating my holy longing; MMY, for directing my holy longing; Shankara, root teacher; Yogananda, for inspiration; and Ram Dass, for being our generations scout, always lighting the way. Gratitude to RD for the phrase from role to soul.

To Swamiji and Joan Harrigan, for the precious practices; Harri and the satsang, for spiritual family; Mevlana Rumi, for visiting my dreams; Hamid Ali, for inquiry practice; and integral philosopher Ken Wilber, for being the greatest mapper of the territory.

To Carl Jung, who took us by the hand, guided us into the Shadow, and charted the unknown; and to Marilyn Ferguson and Jeremy Tarcher, Bodhisattva mentors who are with me always. To Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi, whose legacy includes From Age-ing to Sageing and the organization Sage-ing International, which initiated me as an Elder and gave me a new orientation to late life. I especially want to thank my Sage-ing mentor, Charlotte Carlson, and Jeanne Marsh for their kind and wise presence. To Rick Moody, who offered me a lifetime of experience in this field with no strings. A deep bow of gratitude to all.

To my literary agent, Barbara Moulton, for her fierce persistence and loving support.

To the staff at Inner Traditions: my collaborative and generous editor Jamaica Burns Griffin, smart and vigilant copyeditor Nancy Ringer, cover designer extraordinaire Aaron Davis, Ehud Sperling, Jeanie Levitan, Jon Graham, Patricia Rydle, Eliza Homick, and enthusiastic publicist Ashley Kolesnik, who shepherded my baby into the world.

For the interviews: Thank you to Mirabai Bush, founder of Center for Contemplative Mind in Society, for your generous gift of conversation; the late Father Thomas Keating, founder of Centering Prayer; the late transpersonal psychologist Frances Vaughan; integral psychiatrist Roger Walsh; ageism activist Ashton Applewhite; transpersonal/ holotropic breath psychiatrist Stan Grof; novelist Deena Metzger; Roshi Wendy Egyoku Nakao of the Los Angeles Zen Center; Buddhist teacher Anna Douglas of Spirit Rock Meditation Center; kirtan master Krishna Das; Rabbi Laura Geller; Elder trainer Ron Pevny; Jungian analyst James Hollis; Rabbi Rami Shapiro; Jungian analyst Lionel Corbett; mythologist Michael Meade; the late honored Sage and mystic Robert Atchley; Jungian analyst Allen Koehn; author Carol Orsborn; humanistic psychology pioneer Tom Greening; therapist Lillian Trilling; environmental activist Andrew Beath; psychedelic Elder James Fadiman; therapist Howard Wallman; friends Ron Klepetar and Rick Weiss; and therapist Ray Anderson, now ninety-five.

During the writing of this book, three of them passed away: Father Thomas Keating, Frances Vaughan, and Robert Atchley. Im so grateful to have received their sagacious words near the end of their lives.

To my dearest clients over many decades: Thank you for your courage and for the opportunity to serve. You, too, have been my teachers.

Thanks to Steve Wolf, soul friend, coauthor and coconspirator; Aaron Kipnis, dharma buddy and brother; and to Sherry Modell, who taught me what matters most at the end of life.

Gratitude to my giggle group: Neil, Steve, Paula, Rhoda, Riley, Linda, Malcolm, you are my circle of love, laughter, and support. We lost Linda, my soul sister, in November 2019, and I miss her every day. Then we lost Riley in 2020, after he modeled for all of us how to face death with equanimity. We are truly walking each other home.

Thanks to my consultation group: Neil, Patricia, Barbara, Bill, Gabrielle, your depth of insight and honesty continues to be an inspiration and source of great friendship.

My family with Neil: Sage and Leila, Cher and Brandon, you are a precious gift.

My grandkids: Jayden, Sienna, Kaleb, Eli, you are my little loves, and the surprise gift of late life.

FOREWORD

Meeting the Shadow of Age

By Harry R. Moody, Ph.D.

However much I fled, my shadow did not leave me....

Only the sun has the power to drive away shadows, the sun increases and diminishes them;

seek this from the sun.

MYSTICAL POEMS OF RUMI (TRANS. A. J. ARBERRY)

During many decades as a gerontologist, executive, speaker, and writer in the positive aging and conscious aging communities, I waited and watched for a depth psychologist to bring the inner world into our field. I frequently left conferences disappointed that we didnt hear the voices, the subjective experiences, of the older people we were studying. I eagerly hoped that someone eventually would build bridges between the crucial objective social, institutional, economic, and political issues and the equally crucial subjective psychological, emotional, and spiritual issues of our aging population.