Liggy Webb - How to Be Happy: How Developing Your Confidence, Resilience, Appreciation and Communication Can Lead to a Happier, Healthier You

This is a life enhancing book that will undoubtedly bring greater and longer lasting happiness to every reader.

Richard Denny, international business growth specialist, speaker and author

Yet again Liggy provides a simple and constructive approach to understanding the issues and providing a path to achieving personal happiness and success. The clear message and focus is if you cannot change your circumstances, change your focus and your attitude.

Dr David C Batman, Director of Research, Foundation for Chronic Disease Prevention in the workplace and former Head of Employee Wellness at Nestle

Raising young children is full of joy but it can also be one of the most stressful times of life. Its very easy for parents to get caught up in the whirlwind of everyday life looking after kids leaving little time to look after themselves. We know that happy parents raise happy children so many mums will find this new book of interest.

Sally Russell, Founder of Netmums.com

Liggy Webb explains how we can achieve a happier and more positive life and backs up her theory with some great evidence and advice. This is a well-researched and efficient guide to one of lifes most enduring challenges.

Paul ONeill, Vice President, Guinness World Records Commercial

A timely reminder that our attitudes and actions can have a big influence on our happiness.

Mark Williamson, Director of Action for Happiness

This edition first published 2012

2012 Liggy Webb

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN 978-0-857-08342-5 (paperback) ISBN 978-0-857-08339-5 (ebk)

ISBN 978-0-857-08340-1 (ebk) ISBN 978-0-857-08341-8 (ebk)

This book is dedicated to my Mum and Dad, Robin and Ann.

You are my inspiration x

PREFACE

I am a happiness explorer. I am captivated by the concept of happiness.

Having spent so much of my life researching, writing, presenting and speaking about this somewhat nebulous subject, I have deduced the following:

• Happiness is not out there!
• Happiness is a journey not a destination.
• Happiness is about taking personal responsibility.

Let me explain in a little more depth.

First of all I would like to address the plethora of consumerist activity that professes to deliver the silver bullet solution with regards to an individuals pursuit of happiness. It is frequently suggested that some purchase or material gain will make you happy, thereby reinforcing a belief that happiness is out there somewhere. Many people waste valuable time looking in all the wrong places for something that they have been in possession of all along. The ability to be happy is inside everyone, we all have the capacity and it is completely free, no cost attached. You can make the decision to be happier right now if you really want to be.

Secondly, I dont believe that we have the ability to exist in a permanent state of happiness. To have a real zest for life and feel passion and compassion it is important to experience the full range of emotions that make up the rich tapestry of our lives. Life is a journey and so is happiness; as with many journeys, you may hit a few potholes along the way. Sometimes you may get hurt and feel pain. However, without experiencing any pain in your life you will be less likely to fully understand and appreciate happiness.

Finally, you need to take some personal responsibility for your own happiness. Often, people choose to play the victim and look to blame others for the way that they feel. They wallow and indulge themselves in constant pity parties, dragging others down at the same time by spreading their negative attitude germs.

The expectation that someone or something else will come along and make you happy is unrealistic. A key consideration with regards to happiness is the distance between reality and expectation. If you are constantly in a state of expectation, then you will constantly set yourself up for disappointment. If you are dependent on others to make you happy you may leave yourself vulnerable. It is essential to take personal responsibility.

Every person is unique and, by definition, what happiness means to one person will mean something different to another. You need to listen to yourself, define your own agenda and not allow anyone else to superimpose their version of happiness, otherwise you may lose control of what works for you. You need to be your own puppeteer and pull your own strings! So, the relationship you have with yourself is key. Being happy with who you are, what you do and what you have is not only advisable I would say it is essential.

Happiness also takes practice. There may well be times in your life where there is simply too much darkness, times when the concept of happiness seems as far away as the moon. These are the times that you need to remind yourself about the things that make you feel happy and count your blessings one by one, over and over.

Creating a personal happiness toolkit will help you to feel more self-empowered and more in control. It will protect you from the inevitable media invasion of misery, and the negative doom goblins that you sometimes meet along the way. It will also enable you to be more resilient and bounce back, quicker, better and stronger.

There are certainly a few things in my life that have given me a great education with regards to understanding happiness and what works in terms of developing a personal toolkit.

First of all, and perhaps the most insightful experience for me, has been a lifetime of managing bouts of depression. What I have learnt firsthand has been immense and drives me to want to explore how depression can be positively managed and how the stigma that is still attached to mental health issues can be addressed and dealt with. I have a great deal of empathy for people who dont experience depression and live or work with someone who does get depressed. The very nature of this insidious and seemingly invisible illness has far-reaching consequences for everyone.