Dr.Asha Dinesh - From the Diary of a Psychologist : A Guide to well Being

Notion Press

Old No. 38, New No. 6

McNichols Road, Chetpet

Chennai - 600 031

First Published by Notion Press 2019

Copyright Dr. Asha Dinesh 2019

All Rights Reserved.

eISBN 978-1-68466-343-9

This book has been published with all efforts taken to make the material error-free after the consent of the author. However, the author and the publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause.

No part of this book may be used, reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Dedication

To my parents,

For their deep love

For allowing me to be myself.

To Dinesh and Karan,

For their immense love and support

Which helped me become a better version of myself.

Contents

Foreword

I feel proud to write the foreword to this remarkably well-written book entitled From The Diary Of A Psychologist - A Guide To Well-Being. Actually, I am reminded of the book Letters from a Father to His Daughter written by the first Prime Minister of Independent India, Pandit Shri Jawaharlal Nehru. Though this book may appear to be of fiction value, it is definitely based on the rich professional experience of the author Dr. Asha Dinesh, who has come out with a lot of interesting facts that she has so dearly collected and documented.

I am all the more happy that Dr. Asha Dinesh, who did her doctoral research at the Department of Psychology in the University of Madras with my guidance in the early 1990s, is meticulously doing her professional service to society ever since she became a fully qualified psychologist with a Ph.D. in Psychology awarded to her in 1994.

Many in the modern world either think that psychology is sheer common sense or use psychology interchangeably with psychiatry. Both are inexcusably wrong . The human mind is so complex that one cannot always proceed with common sense. A thorough understanding of the mind will be possible only when individuals are seen professionally from various possible angles across different points of time using a variety of techniques such as observations, interviews, and questionnaires. These form a part of the case study approach.

The first wave of psychotherapy concentrated heavily on past experiences, and it was problem centric. Theoretically, it was quite sound. The second wave which followed also had a sound theoretical base and it was in a way past-oriented but present was its main focus. The third wave took a slightly different path. The third wave continues to concentrate on the present but with a future orientation. It does not seem to worry much about causes, but it is determined to provide viable solutions by concentrating on residual resources (till left intact despite pathology) or basic competencies with which one is born.

The fourth wave emphasizes the importance of compassion by advocating the maintenance of dignity, forgiveness, and gratitude, all of which have strong connotations with overall well-being. Dr. Asha has borne this vital point (fostering well-being) in mind while writing this book which is bound to enlighten the readers especially parents.

She has structured this book very neatly with five finely interrelated parts namely [i] individuality and illuminating factor, [ii] a perfect connect - the precise need, [iii] attention a therapeutic tool and [iv] a word on parenting and [v] dealing with emotions - distinctive way of handling situations.

The main aim of the author in writing this book is to bring each and every individual close to reality by matching the inner world consisting of several personality traits with the external world which is full of challenges and opportunities. I sincerely hope that society in general and families, in particular, enjoy the fruits of technology with overall well-being.

Dr. V.D. Swaminathan,

Professor, Department of Psychology,

University of Madras

Preface

F rom the diary of a psychologist is the essence of my two decades of practice as a psychotherapist. Here I have chosen to address the most common issues for which individuals seek the help of a psychologist both personal and interpersonal. Beginners of psychotherapy will be able to understand the nuances of psychological concepts in a very simplified fashion. As a therapist, I have always felt that these concepts need to be taken to the common man so that he can apply them in every sphere of his life.

I have incorporated my experience in private practice, prisons, remand homes, hospital, and factories. I have also attempted to answer some of the common questions asked in workshops, public meetings, and seminars.

I have attempted to demonstrate very crucial psychological concepts in a very simplified form. There is a child in all of us who is interested in stories, and hence I have used the case study method to make these concepts clear.

The objective of this book is to understand ones own beliefs which can be a major barrier and can also lead to major growth in ones self as well as in relationships. The first part is exclusively on the self as I strongly believe that the growth of the self only can lead to growth in relationships and other spheres. This is followed by skills to deal in interpersonal relationships at the personal and professional front to bring about harmony for the self and relationships.

This is the first volume of the series. The following volumes will focus on other crucial areas.

The names and identities in the cases have been completely changed on the account of confidentiality and professional ethics.

The idea for this book sparked when I wrote A Letter to My Son. This was a small booklet I wrote for my son who was stepping into adulthood when he turned twenty-one. His response to this letter was of immense value, and he said it would help him as a guide in his life. I wanted to translate similar concepts into a book which would help readers understand their life better. Lots of self-introspection happened spontaneously as this book evolved, which helped me as an individual and also as a psychologist.

Acknowledements

F irst and foremost I seek pleasure in expressing my deep gratitude to Dr. V. D. Swami Nathan, my mentor, for his incredible feedback and suggestions on this book. Feedback from an expert like him meant a great deal.

I thank Dr. Balasubramanian, who stood beside me not only as the book evolved but throughout my career as a practicing psychologist. I am highly indebted to you, and I salute your commitment, sir.

I thank my friend, Vijaya Lakshmi Kathirvel, who was the first reader of the manuscript for her enthusiasm, support, and encouragement. Her feedback took my enthusiasm to a higher level.

I thank Mr. Vishal Agarwal for offering his valuable comment.

I thank Mr. Sampath Kumar for dedicating his valuable time and expertise in helping me fine tune the work.

I wish to wholeheartedly pay my regards to my friend, Judy Enoch, for her valuable feedback.

I would like to present my warm thanks to my husband, Dinesh and son, Karan for their constant encouragement and support. They took care of my other responsibilities so that I could complete this book comfortably.

I wish to give my special thanks to my team of psychologists, Dr. Sangeetha, Mrs. Jothimathi, Mrs. Sasikala, and Mrs. Manjula. Discussions with them gave me better clarity on my work.