Jane Morris - What Its Really Like: Outrageous Stories from Teachers Around the Country

Truth Be Told Publishing

Copyright 2020 Jane Morris

All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions.

This book was written by an American Public School teacher, who accordingly, has little to no money to spend on advertising or anything else for that matter. While the author would be saddened by someone else making money from the illegal distribution of this work, she would be delighted by anyone who shares small portions of its contents with the intention of spreading the truth about the teaching experience in America.

ISBN: 978-0-578-66808-6

FOR M,

Always for you

Note: Everything in this book is true,

as far as I know.

Names have been changed to protect identities.

You might find some of it hard to believe,

but if you are a teacher,

youll know in your bones its real.

I was done. True, I had said that I was done many times before, but this time felt different.

Id had bad classes before, with kids who seemed to get a kick out of trying to break me down. But I never had an administration who supported the misbehaved kids, validated every outrageous complaint they had, and blamed me entirely for their awful behavior.

This is it! I screamed into my phone. Im done! And dont try to talk me out of it! I am smart and capable and I can find another job! I cant do this anymore!

Okay, my husband said calmly, knowing that if I detected any emotion in his voice other than complete support, it would mean doom. You dont need to do it anymore if you dont want to. We will figure it out. It is going to be okay. He knew the perfect response because we had been through this before. He learned the hard way that trying to point out that this little outburst was seasonal for me, and that I would get over it in a few weeks, only made the situation much, much worse. Good! Because I really am done this time!

I tried to get through the rest of the day. I knew that if I just walked out and didnt come back, I would ruin other future opportunities for myself, even if they werent in teaching. Teachers who suddenly resign, with no reason other than I just cant take it anymore! were seen as weak. They broke their contract, which was like breaking a cosmic law. Teachers who resign in the middle of the year werent to be trusted. The rest of the world does not see this the way the educational world does, I have learned. Other people and employers will even respect the fact that you refused to be abused any longer and put your own mental health first. But they brainwash you about a lot of things to keep you in your place, and it works.

Just get through the last class. That was all I had to do. I was not coming back, but I needed to finish out the day, at least. My last class of the day was rowdy, as kids often get at the end of the day, but they were sweet kids and they meant no harm. If I didnt have to get them to listen and produce work, we would have had a great time. They were fun and funny, I just couldnt really get them to shut up for very long. I announced that it was time for them to put their things away and prepare for their little five-question reading quiz, the one I had talked about every day for two weeks (They had two weeks to read 25 pages, but they were lazy as fuck.) They immediately started to push back, as kids often do.

What quiz!

You never told us about a quiz!

I didnt have time to read!

Can it be open-book?

I read it two weeks ago, but I cant remember anything!

Its not fair!

A group of the more spirited ones surrounded me and continued their badgering.

This was their typical crap. They usually tried to play this little game just to see if I would somehow give in. But this time, I was so fragile that it just seemed like too much. I sat down in my chair, and I started to cry. Once I started, I couldnt stop. Out it all came, and the room went quiet. The kids who stood near me slowly backed away.

Are you okay?

Were sorry! Well just take the quiz! one called out.

Its okay, Ms. Morris!

But I couldnt pull it back. I went into the hall and grabbed a sub who was passing by and asked her to watch my class. She saw the state I was in and immediately agreed. I ran to the bathroom, sat down on the floor, and continued crying until the bell rang and the day was over.

Let me back up for a minute. How bad could that other class have been? you might be thinking. It does seem like an overreaction to fall apart the way I did, doesnt it? Allow me to tell you a little bit more about it.

It was my 15th year. I had seen a lot and dealt with a lot (if youve read my other books, then you know just how much I had dealt with.) I had cried in class once or twice before and had quit in my mind, and to my family, probably a dozen times. But this was different. I was used to having an administration and coworkers who had the attitude of, If those kids are fucking with you, we will handle it together. Were a team. Lets go! We comforted each other and most importantly, we validated each other. Its incredible just how far the words Ive been there, and its not your fault can go. When Ive had poorly behaved kids, the head of my department, or an assistant principal, would pull them out of class and conference with them, with or without my presence (whatever I preferred.) Ive had coworkers confront entire classes for me, and Ive done the same for them. We got to the root of the problem in almost every situation together.

In this new school I had found myself in, everything was our fault, and the kids could do no wrong. And kids, as perceptive and manipulative as they can be, knew they had the power. It caused complete chaos. And it broke the teachers down like nothing I had ever seen.

A group of kids in this one class, in particular, came in with their minds made up about my class and me from day one. Ill spare you the details, Im sure you can imagine what the behavior was like. After two weeks I was ready for backup. I had tried contacting parents, and speaking to each kid individually, which only seemed to make matters worse. I almost never ask administration for help, because I know they can see it as bothersome, but I was desperate. I asked the new assistant principal to come and speak to my class about their behavior. There are a lot of well-behaved kids in this class who are suffering because of the others, I explained. I am hoping that a strong message from administration about behavioral expectations and consequences will help.

Sure, no problem, he responded. Ill see you then.