Tim Muehlhoff - Defending Your Marriage: The Reality of Spiritual Battle

T he most extensive passage in Scripture about marriage (Eph 5) comes right before the most extensive passage about spiritual warfare (Eph 6). Is this coincidental? Not hardly.

In Gods design, a good marriage depicts the love and intimacy that characterizes the relationship between Christ and his people, the church. And although Jesus assures us that the gates of hell will not prevail against the church, Satan relentlessly tries to take it down. So too with marriage.

As Tim Muehlhoff says in his introduction, your marriage is a target. Its targeted because it represents a taste of heavenGod in close connection with his people. Satan wants to disrupt and oppose anything that attracts people to the loving and caring community he is working to establish on earth. By undermining marriages and driving spouses apart, Satan effectively destroys hope in the transcendent relationship to which marriages point.

For many people, whether they will openly admit it or not, speaking of demonic spirits and spiritual warfare is tantamount to living on the lunatic fringe of Christianity. Yes, this stuff is in the Bible, they admit, but its better left in Bible times. If a couple is having difficulty in their marriage, they need the wisdom and help that comes from a seasoned marriage counselor, not some kind of demonic deliverance ritual. In fact, some worry that bringing demons into the picture could actually shift the focus away from what a couple may really need to work on to achieve a healthy marriage. But if the Bible is right on this issue, and the demonic realm really is interested in harming marriages, how can we afford to neglect it?

Imagine for a moment that I go to the doctor with a horrible sore throat that is a result of a bacterial infection. The doctor prescribes getting rest, gargling warm water with salt, and taking ibuprofen every six hours. By following this regimen, I will undoubtedly feel some measure of relief, but the doctor has not treated the root problem. I need antibiotics to fight the infection.

If your marriage is stuck in a loop of increasingly unhealthy interactions, have you stopped to consider that you may not be dealing with the root problem? There may be spiritual dynamics at work that require spiritual intervention.

This is where Tims book comes in. The wisdom imparted in this volume will help you discern what is going on in your marriage and give you important tools for handling a wide array of issues that have spiritual roots.

In our culture, weve been socialized and educated to disregard the spiritual and think of the demonic as fantasy. But this isnt the biblical perspective. Its not the counsel of Jesus, Paul, or the apostles. They took this realm seriously and sought to integrate a spiritual warfare worldview into every aspect of daily life. Tim shows how this perspective is relevant to your marriage.

H e has a fever.

Unbelievable, I thought to myself as I listened to my wifes phone message. Last night our middle son felt a little warm, and we hoped it was nothing. No such luck.

Could you swing by the pharmacy on your way home?

You could hear the frustration in her voice. Her irritation was spurred on not only by an unexpected health issue but the fact that I was still at the office even though we had yet to pack. In the morning, my wife and I were flying out to speak at a marriage conference. It was an early flight and everything that could go wrong was happeningsick child, last-minute cancellation of a trusted sitter, and a yet-to-be completed deadline at work. The phrase, everything but the kitchen sink didnt seem so funny when we discovered later that night that our kitchen faucet was leaking again. The tension between us was high as we rode to the airport in silence.

After settling into our hotel room, we headed to the ballroom where the marriage conference was to be held to do a microphone check. We noticed conference volunteers walking up and down the rows pausing at each empty chair.

What are they doing? I asked the conference coordinator.

Praying against spiritual forces, he responded.

His answer took me by surprise. After years of organizing Christian marriage conferences, the organizer took seriously the reality of spiritual opposition. He explained that the couples who would occupy these chairs have certainly faced many obstaclessickness, travel delays, luggage lost in transit, unexpected financial pressures, and marital tension are all par for the course.

Do we really think its all coincidental? he said laughing.

Satan will do anything to keep us from working on our marriages. After all, a Christian marriage should reflect Gods love. Wed be naive to think Satan isnt targeting us.

Walking back to our hotel room I was flooded with thoughts.