Lee Strobel - Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage

Resources by Lee Strobel

The Case for Christ
The Case for Christ Audio Pages
The Case for ChristStudent Edition (with Jane Vogel)
The Case for Faith The Case for Faith Audio Pages
The Case for FaithStudent Edition (with Jane Vogel)
Gods Outrageous Claims
Inside the Mind of Unchurched Harry and Mary
Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage
(with Leslie Strobel)
Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage Audio Pages
What Jesus Would Say

ZONDERVAN

Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage
Copyright 2002 by Lee Strobel

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of Zondervan.

ePub Edition July 2009 ISBN: 978-0-310-86036-5

This title is also available as a Zondervan audio product.
Visit www.zondervan.com/audiopages for more information.

Requests for information should be addressed to:
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Strobel, Lee, 1952
Surviving a spiritual mismatch in marriage / Lee Strobel and Leslie Strobel.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 0-310-22014-9
1. SpousesReligious life. 2. Non church-affiliated peopleFamily relationships. I. Strobel, Leslie. II. Title.
BV4596.M3 S77 2002
261.8 ' 35843dc21

2002000756

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

03 04 05 06 07 08 /DC/ 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3

Contents

For Linda Lenssen,
Leslies spiritual mentor,
who influenced our whole family for Christ,
and to her husband, Jerry,
who preceded us Home.

I will give you a new heart
and put a new spirit in you;
I will remove from you your heart of stone
and give you a heart of flesh.

EZEKIEL 36:26

How Leslie
and I Wrote
This Book

SEVERAL YEARS AGO LESLIE AND I PARTICIPATED IN A VALENTINESDAY event in which we fielded questions from couples about marriage and the Christian life. Afterward, one young man came up, pointed to Leslie, and said to me, Now we know whos got the brains in the family!

He wasnt kidding! God has given Leslie a gift of wisdom. Her gentle spirit, sincere heart, and intensely practical biblical insights make her sought after by people who want counsel or guidance.

Since both of us have gone through an era of being spiritually mismatched, it made sense for us to write this book as a team so that we could draw upon our combined experiences and lessons. But when I brought up the idea for the book, Leslie protested: Im not a writer! Ever heard of stage fright? Well, Ive got page fright! As for me, writing is what I like best.

So we struck a deal: we would work togethermixing our ideas, insights, and adviceand I would actually write the bulk of the book. Besides, since much of the story is about what Leslie did during our time of mismatch, its more comfortable for me to write about that than her.

So when you see parts written in the first personwith pronouns like me and Ithats me speaking. Leslie has added her perspective and input, and she has overcome her shyness long enough to write a chapter about her personal experiences during the time we were mismatched.

As they say on Sesame Street: Thats cooperation!

Lee Strobel

The Challenge
of a Mismatched
Marriage

Entering
into the
Mismatch

THE WEATHER WAS CRISP AND CLEAR ON THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS 1966 when my friend Pete and I took the train from our suburban homes into downtown Chicago. We wandered around the Loop for a while, reveling in the bustle of the city, but then came time for me to bring him on a pilgrimage that I took as often as I could.

Fighting the wind, we trudged across the Michigan Avenue bridge and stopped in front of the Wrigley Building. There we stood, our hands shoved into our pockets for warmth, as we gazed across the street at the gothic majesty of Tribune Tower. I cant remember whether I muttered the word aloud or if it merely echoed in my mind: Someday. Pete was quiet. High school freshmen are entitled to their dreams.

We lingered for a few minutes and watched as people flowed in and out of the newspaper office. Were they the reporters whose bylines I studied every morning? Or the editors who dispatched them around the world? Or the printers who manned the gargantuan presses? I let my imagination run wilduntil Petes patience wore thin.

We turned and walked up the Magnificent Mile, browsing through the overpriced and pretentious shops, until we decided to embark on the twenty-minute walk back to the train station. As we passed in front of the Civic Opera House, though, I heard a familiar voice beckon from the crowd.

Hey, Lee, whatre you doing here? called Clay, another high school student who lived in my neighborhood.

I didnt answer right away. I was too captivated by the girl at his side, holding his hand and wearing his gold engraved ID bracelet. Her brown hair cascaded to her shoulders; her smile was at once coy and confident.

Uh, well, um... just hanging around, I managed to say to Clay, though my eyes were riveted on his date.

By the time he introduced us to Leslie, I wasnt thinking much about Clay or Pete or the fact that my hands were getting numb from the cold and I was standing ankle-deep in soot-encrusted snow. I made sure, however, to pay close attention when Clay pronounced Leslies name; I knew Id need the proper spelling to look it up in the phone book.

After all, everythings fair in love and war.

FROM FAIRY TALE TO NIGHTMARE

As for Leslie, I found out later that she wasnt thinking about Clay as the two of them rode the train home that afternoon. When she arrived at her house in suburban Palatine, she strolled into the kitchen and found her mother, a Scottish war bride, busily preparing dinner.

Mom, she announced, today I met the boy Im going to marry!

The response wasnt what she expected. Her mother barely looked up from the pot she was stirring. In a voice mixed with condescension and skepticism, she replied dismissively: Thats nice, dear.

But there was no doubt in Leslies mind. Nor in mine. When I called her the next night from a pay-phone outside a gas station near my house (with four brothers and sisters, that was the only way I could get some privacy), we talked as if we had known each other for years. People like to debate whether theres such a thing as love at first sight; for us, the issue had been settled once and for all.