Bianca E. Fernandez - A Night at the Fair

2021 Bianca E. Fernandez

ISBN: 978-1-09-838587-3

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Dedication:

This book is dedicated to all of the growing hearts.

May we know love. May we show love. May we be love.

Why in the world would this place be called a funfair when there was absolutely nothing fair about it? The definition of the word, an adverb, is without cheating or trying to achieve unjust advantage. That could not possibly be true because my date and I had just spent the past hour throwing our money away at games trying to bring home the largest plush-reptile toy. The basketball hoops we were shooting on were not perfectly circular, and the water that shot from the toy guns had to be on a delay. I was sure of it! If that is not cheating and taking advantage of the natural shortcomings of the naked eye, then I dont know what is.

Another definition of the word suggests a beautiful woman, such as in the title of the musical My Fair Lady. But I can assure you, this neighborhood fair resembled a second-hand thrift store for old machinery and games more than any beautiful woman I had ever seen. However, now that I was standing there, waiting in line to ride the only rollercoaster here and contemplating the English lexicon, there is one more definition that I had to consider. The adjective definition of fair was, in accordance with the rules and standards; legitimate.

If I considered the name solely by that definition, I could accept it as something fair and make sense of the fun propaganda that came with it. Yes, the games we played there were overpriced, and more often than not, we left empty-handed. And yes, I was waiting in line to ride a rollercoaster that I had ridden every year since I was eight years old. I was now seventeen and waiting for my date to meet me with a bucket of popcorn that would be too salty and too buttery to enjoy.

But this was the only time of year that this fair came to my neighborhood. The only time of year I could walk hand-in-hand with a lover, under bright lights, surrounded by loud noises, and not feel anxious. Instead, I felt lucky! Like I was about to walk out of there with trophies in one arm, my date on the other, and a smile that stretched across my face. I was also excited to feel the rush of my stomach jumping out of my mouth after crashing down from the steepest drop of the tallest ride, regardless of how many times I had been on it before.

This fair, no matter how janky, had found a place in my heart. It reminded me of my childhood when I first started coming here with my siblings. We would come dressed in our best gear because we anticipated seeing everyone else from our neighborhood. We came with empty stomachs, waiting to spend our money on popcorn, fried sweets, and sugary soft drinks. It was an event. Our night out on the town long before puberty took hold. Now that we were older, it was the pit stop before our night out, but it still held the same value in our hearts. For those reasons, we had accepted these low-standard food choices and overpriced games and rides. Our emotional attachments had legitimized this funfair. But who sets the price on nostalgia?

Finally! I saw Jees face through the crowd and was instantly brought back to the moment. We made eye contact, and a smile streaked across their face. I loved the way they looked at mein a way that no one else did or could. As if I was the only being in existence. If even just for a second, that look stopped me every time. A look that made me feel truly seen. This was someone who could see me through the masks and illusions I put up and the ones they projected as well.

As I finished that thought, Jee was running their fingers through mine and happily offering me some popcorn. Jee and I had been dating since our freshman year of high school. We were what everyone considered high school sweethearts, but I had never been fond of that title. It didnt fully encapsulate our relationship. For starters, weve known each other since grade schoolwe grew up together. Because of that, theyre more like my best friend. When the burdens of my world were too heavy to carry, and I didnt want to fight a battle alone, I knew I could call Jee. They would be the first to show up for me and worry about all of the questions later.

And when life allowed me to ride high, Jee was the only person I wanted riding shotgun. I knew theyll make me laugh the whole way, and wed always stop to take dance breaks. We came from the same place and shared the same thirst for life. By now, we had our own language, and the majority of it was unspoken. Jee was not my high school sweetheart. Jee is Jee and I am me, and together we were something too grand to label.

I had been standing on this line for about 20 minutes now, and Jees been here for the last five, but I soon began to grow impatient. I remembered the first time I rode this roller coaster. This day had to have been the longest amount of time I had ever spent waiting to ride this thing. At least it felt that way.

After what seemed like forever, Jee and I were being strapped into the ride. One would expect my heart to be racing from excitement, but the only thing racing were the chemicals in my stomach trying to digest that nasty popcorn. As the other passengers were being strapped in, I whispered to Jee that I didnt feel too well, to which they replied, Youll be good.

I rolled my eyes and paid no mind to their cold response. They were annoyed because we were one of the last ones to make it on the ride and now had to sit in the last row. I couldnt focus on that at the moment because all I could feel was a sharp pain. I needed a distraction. I started reciting the lyrics to Gods Plan by Drake in my head. Just as I finished mouthing, they wishin on me, we were pulling into the station and the safety bar in front of us was unlatched. I did it! I managed to distract myself long enough to avoid getting physically sick, and all I had to do was sing a three-minute song.

Whatd you think? Jee asked me.

I shrugged and replied, Same thing, different year. I wanted to tell them about the somersaults happening in my stomach, but there was little either of us could do about it, so I kept it to myself.

I feel the same way! they continued, So, I was thinking, we should get on it again but do it the right way this time and sit in the front row.

All I could do was flash a blank stare, which was greeted with a smile while they began to explain how and why we were guaranteed a seat in the front row. I didnt know if my insides could take another spin around the track. So, what do you say? Jee finally asked.