Lawrence Chaney - (Drag) Queen of Scots: The hilarious and heartwarming memoir from the UKs favourite drag queen

Two-year-old me in the garden of my grans house. I could never be stopped from frolicking around and causing mayhem! I would run around the garden shouting Exterminate! at plant pots, and no doubt I was an irritating wee arsehole. Nevertheless, Im so thankful to have such a supportive, loving family (even though they dressed me like that).Here we see my wee purple blob of a gran wearing a cerise cardigan, for once helping me to improve my drawing skills. This picture sums up our relationship perfectly. She would always help me improve, showing me new techniques and tricks to better my art. If only she knew all the help shed given me would lead to my drag make-up years later. Cheers for helping me get my eyebrows even, Granny!My portrait from Stepping Stones Nursery in Helensburgh, 2001. Looking back at this photo makes me a little emotional when youre that age, youre usually totally unaware of the cruelties of the world and the #bullies that you may come to face in the future, so the smile is innocent and genuine. Oh, to be four again. Woft.Angelina Jolie had nothing on me back in 2003 I was the OG Maleficent! Thanks to my auntie Dodo for spray-painting and hot-gluing the staff for my Halloween costume. I say this was for Halloween, but I wore this outfit for at least three weeks afterwards, so putting an exact date on this picture is rather difficult.Just your average after-school activity! Wearing my sisters school dress and my mums high heels. I think it was evident, even at the age of seven, that I was destined to take over the world and climb my way to stardom, one heeled hoof after the other.Me, my sister Tamsin, Dad and the wee purple blob on holiday in 2000. Big Phyllis is behind the camera. A cute family picture from afar, but look at me no doubt I was trying to strangle my dad because I wasnt allowed a Mr Whippy ice cream!I didnt have designers back in the Halloween of 2004 my mum made the silver lam jumpsuit, my dad spray-painted the welly boots and my sister helped me cut a Pringles tube for the gun. I made the chest piece and helmet out of cardboard. Most Cybermen threaten to take over the universe however, I set my sights on taking over the cookie jar in my grans house.I made this ode to the Red Death (Phantom of the Opera) and Hamlets ghost costume out of a red bed sheet. Back in my early days, if the costume could be flailed about, it passed the Lawza test.My 2010 school portrait from Park House School. Contrary to what it looks like, I did actually brush my hair before the photo was taken. There must have just been static in the airLittle Lawza, aged thirteen. This was an attempt at Lon Chaney from the movie London After Midnight. I glued wiry straw to a Smiffys top hat. Looking at this grey straw hair, I realize that not much has changed just look at my Drag Race confessionalsLawrence Chaney as Jinkx Monsoon as Drew Barrymore as Little Edie from Grey Gardens. My first time out in drag not a wig in sight, just lip gloss, my mums scarf and a dream.Alice Rabbit, a knock-off Alaska (aka me) and Axel at AXM in April 2015. The phone that we were trying to take a selfie on fell into one of the Venoms below, so Im happy we found this snap on Facebook the next day.August 2018, walking offstage after performing at the Glasgow Festival of Drag. Clock to the right, just behind me: a can of Irn-Bru never goes amiss. The BBC Scotland channel launch, on 24 February 2019. How could I forget? Its only on the backdrop right behind me! I remember making this dress out of four metres of 1.99 fabric, mere hours before the event. She never stopped, kids!My flatmate Kiko and I, pictured sober at the end of the night quite a rare occasion.Plot twist: Elizabeth I and Mary, Queen of Scots did meet in my living room. My drag daughter Paris and I getting ready for the Glasgow show Suck in May 2019.Mothers Day 2019. Is there a better gift to give your mother than being in full high-whore drag in her front room?!In Westminster mid-December 2019, where I was on location talking with Rajdeep Sandhu for BBC The Social. There was me thinking I was going for a job interview to be Leader of the OppositionPictured, you can see some of the crew and all cast members (with the exception of Ginny who was having a shite during this). This was just after we wrapped the official BBC Three promotional video for Drag Race UK Season 2. If youre wondering why I dont have a wig on You try falling seventeen times off a bucking bronco decorated as bagpipes! Not pictured, the goats, puppies and horse that also cameoed in the video. Lorraine with the wean. My showbiz mum, Lorraine Kelly, and I at the 2021 Student Pride event in Heaven, London. This was actually an outtake from our yearbook photoshoot but dont tell anyone!Next page