Kathy Allen - The Horrible, Miserable Middle Ages: The Disgusting Details about Life During Medieval Times

1. AD 476 The last Roman emperor in the West is removed from power. Some historians use this date to mark the beginning of the Middle Ages.
2. AD 800 Cities are in decline. Most people live in the country on manors owned by lords.
   
3. AROUND AD 800 New farming techniques are invented that allow medieval farmers to grow more food.
4. AD 1000 Armed horseman called knights serve their lords in battle. They become a symbol of the Middle Ages.
   
5. AROUND AD 1050 Medieval people start to live in towns for the first time since the Roman Empire collapsed.
6. AD 1095 The crusades begin. The crusades were a series of wars between Christians from western Europe and Muslims. These wars would go on for almost 200 years.
7. AD 1200-1225 The city of Rouen, France, burns to the ground six times.
8. AD 1347 The plague begins to spread through Europe from Crimea, a land near the Black Sea. The disease kills about 25 million people in the next four years.

After the peasants dancing to the music of death.

1. AROUND AD 1400 Some historians mark this time as the end of the Middle Ages and the beginning of the Renaissance.

The church was a major force in peoples lives during the Middle Ages. It touched everything from medicine, law, education, and government.

After the fall of the Roman Empire, the ruler of Constantinople in modern-day Turkey continued to call himself the Roman emperor. This Roman emperor in the East lasted until 1453.

LONDON, ENGLAND 100,000

NORWICH, ENGLAND 57,374

STRASBOURG, GERMANY 16,000

VENICE, ITALY 100,000

SMOLENSK, RUSSIA All but 5 people

In 476 AD, the fall of the Roman Empire in the west gave way to the Middle Ages. Some things in the Middle Ages were great. But other things were filthy!

lords. Serfs worked the land from dawn to dusk.

bathed once a week at most. They bathed in water from nearby streams where they also dumped sewage and trash.

The water used for laundry was just as nasty. Peasants wore the same stiff, itchy clothes day in and day out. Some wool clothing was never washed but simply brushed.

Peasants did what they could to stay clean. They washed their hands several times a day. After meals, they paired with a friend or family member to pick off lice crawling on their clothes.

Serfs and peasants worked long hours in fields.

FOUL FACT

Monks filled tanks with rainwater for bathing and drinking. This water was pretty clean as long as birds didnt fall in.

Rotting Teeth

The only things that smelled worse than peasants clothing in the Middle Ages were their dirty, rotting teeth. People didnt use toothbrushes or toothpaste. Many chewed herbs to cover their smelly breath. They also rinsed with vinegar and wine to clean their mouths.

Bad breath was the least of their dental worries. Treatments for doctors yanked teeth from the gums with a pair of pliers.

Trained doctors would not pull teeth because the patient could die from bleeding. Rich patients who survived this treatment replaced their pulled teeth with fake ones made of cow bone. Most people, however, were left gumming their stale bread.

MEDIEVAL DENTIST

A Proven Remedy

Take some newts, by some called lizards, and those nasty beetles which are found in fens [marshes] during the summer time, calcine [heat] them in an iron pot and make a powder thereof.

Wet the forefinger of the right hand, insert it in the powder, and apply it to the

From a 13th-century guide to curing a toothache (Not to be tried at home!)

Trenchers and Other Treats

Dry bread and a lack of vitamins left commoners with loose meals changed little from day-to-day. Most people filled up on bread, beer, and a mushy porridge made from vegetables and grains. Without refrigerators, fruits and vegetables could not be chilled and shipped. People ate only what was in season and available.

Meat was too expensive for most commoners. Peasants ate whatever they could catch, including rabbits, wild beavers, and pigeons. Peasants and nobles alike could not afford to let valuable meat spoil. They often dried meat to keep it from rotting. Then they boiled it back into chunks that were easy to chew. To make this meat mush taste better, they used many spices. Meat was also stored covered in a gel made from boiled cow hooves.

Families gutted animals and prepared food in their homes.

With so few foods available, nothing could be wasted. Chefs of the nobles cooked up animal brains, lungs, and stomachs. The rich feasted on such delights as bear paws, boar guts, and other organ meat.

Cooks were creative. Surprise dishes, such as a goose hidden inside a peacock, would delight the nobles and their guests. Also pleasing were meals made of animal pairs. Chefs would serve the front end of a rooster attached to a baby pigs back end.

Meat was sometimes eaten on trenchers. These stale pieces of bread soaked up grease and juices. When the lords were done eating, they gave the trenchers to peasants. For peasants, these soaked, stale pieces of bread were a real treat!

Nobles feasted on large meals that were often shared with pets. Any leftovers were given to peasants.

FOUL FACT

Diners at nobles feasts used their best manners. They remembered not to fart or pick flea bites at the table.

No Flushing

The food in the Middle Ages left many doubled over and running for the nearest bathroom. Its a good thing many homes had indoor toilets. But people didnt want to spend a lot of time in medieval bathrooms. Waste wasnt flushed away. Instead, a simple wooden toilet connected to a small pipe. The pipe carried waste away but not too far. The waste pooled in a hole behind the house called a cesspit. This pit was lined with timber or stone so it wouldnt leak to other areas.