Jane Graham - Letter To My Younger Self: The Big Issue Presents... 100 Inspiring People on the Moments That Shaped Their Lives

First published in the UK by Blink Publishing

An imprint of Bonnier Books UK

4th Floor, Victoria House, Bloomsbury Square, London, WC1B 4DA

Owned by Bonnier Books

Sveavgen 56, Stockholm, Sweden

facebook.com/blinkpublishing

twitter.com/blinkpublishing

Hardback 9781788702324

Paperback 9781788702348

eBook 9781788702331

All rights reserved. No part of the publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, transmitted or circulated in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission in writing of the publisher.

A CIP catalogue of this book is available from the British Library.

Designed by Envy Design Ltd

Printed and bound in Great Britain by Clays Ltd, Elcograf S.p.A.

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Copyright The Big Issue and Jane Graham, 2019

Illustrations Lyndon Hayes

First published in Great Britain in 2019 by Blink Publishing.

Paperback edition first published in 2021.

Interviews on pages 79, 91, 100, 154, 172, and 307 by Adrian Lobb

Interview on page 34 by Eamonn Forde

Interview on page 84 by Andrew Burns

Interview on page 238 by Vicky Davidson

Interview on page 335 by Thomas Quinn

All other interviews conducted by Jane Graham.

The Big Issue has asserted their moral right to be identified as the author of this Work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

Every reasonable effort has been made to trace copyright holders of material reproduced in this book, but if any have been inadvertently overlooked the publishers would be glad to hear from them.

Blink Publishing is an imprint of Bonnier Books UK

www.bonnierbooks.co.uk

Dedicated to all the people who have ever sold or bought The Big Issue

Contents

B ack in 2007, I had a brainwave. Id conducted a lot of interviews as a journalist, and had long been thinking about how I could encourage subjects to talk about their lives in a revealing and honest way. It struck me that the one person we all try not to lie to, the one person who has known us at our worst and best, is ourself. I wondered how very successful people felt, looking back on how they were before the big dream came true; did they think that teenager would be bursting with pride at their subsequent achievements, or were there things they wished they didnt have to tell such a hopeful innocent?

I first pitched the Letter to my Younger Self column 14 years ago, and it originally ran as a single column in the arts section of The Big Issues Scottish edition. The editor and I quickly realised wed found a key to unlock even the most guarded of big names. The feature doubled in length, then doubled again, to fill two pages at the front of the UK-wide edition of The Big Issue, where it still runs every week.

In the intervening years I have interviewed over 600 people and learned a lot about human nature and the ways we respond to fame, wealth and power. Many subjects have told me that our conversation pulled up long-buried memories, while others said that its intimate focus on home truths and personal values made it feel like therapy. A lot of tears have been shed.

What has been most telling is how fundamentally those formative teenage years shape the way we face our future and weigh up our past. Some interviewees, like Sir Paul McCartney and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, felt warmly towards their uninhibited, excited younger selves, unaware of the curveball life was about to throw at them. Some highly accomplished individuals, such as Sir Ranulph Fiennes and Eddie Izzard, felt their 16-year-old selves still dwelt deep inside them, occasionally flooding them with feelings of melancholy or inadequacy.

John Cleese, Imelda Staunton and Dominic West all struck me for their lack of interest in public glory, caring more about how their family will remember them. Some subjects just turned out to be extraordinarily impressive people who could fail to fall in love with the funny, gutsy, romantic Olivia Colman, the uniquely spirited and mischievous Werner Herzog or the big-hearted, irrepressible will.i.am (whose words so inspired Mark Carney, the Governor of the Bank of England, that he quoted them in a keynote speech in 2018 surely the first time will.i.am, The Big Issue and a major financial leader have appeared together in a landmark address!)

Some of the stories Ive heard have knocked my socks off, from Miriam Margolyes shocking experience coming out to her mother, to Sir Mo Farahs emotional reunion with his twin brother Hassan, 12 years after they were separated by cruel circumstance in Djibouti. Almost everyone who had lost a parent missed them more than they had anticipated. And Wilko Johnsons description of his marriage remains one of the most affecting evocations of passion and devotion Ive ever heard.

Since the first publication of this book in 2019, Ive conducted many more fascinating interviews, a handful of which have been added to this paperback edition. So now you can also read about the teenage Jarvis Cockers meticulous plans for stardom (involving duffel coats, C&A trousers and silly socks); discover what Dolly Parton has always wanted to say to Elvis; and imagine my personal hero Lin-Manuel Miranda leaping to his feet in a busy London restaurant to rap Alexander Hamilton to me (Im pretty sure it really happened, though it feels like a dream now).

Ive often discussed with my friend and fellow journalist Adrian Lobb, who conducted some of these interviews, what a privilege it is to speak to remarkable people like the ones in this collection. Between them theyve led nations, won Olympic golds, conquered the highest mountains in the world and literally been to the moon and back. In the end, almost all of them agree that, in the words of F. Scott Fitzgerald, love is the beginning and end of everything. Thats why the original edition of this book finished with Wilco Johnsons wise and poignant words about that most crucial human base-note. I hope those words leave as deep an impression on you as they have on me.

Jane Graham

Books Editor, The Big Issue

June 2021

Co-founder of The Big Issue

T he advice I would give my younger self is Dont get caught. There I was, aged 16, in an institution I hated all institutions and the forced company with boys. I hated boys; I hated their lives, their smells, their preoccupations. I loved girls so much that I grieved, not because Id done wrong, but because Id put myself out of the way of girls.

I also didnt like boys because they were bullies and cowardly and they would gang up on one another. Or they would hit the smaller boys. There was never any equality between them. I got beaten up at times because Id stand up against bullying. But eventually I got my own back by becoming stronger or by befriending even bigger boys. Some spectacular revenge attacks were orchestrated by me and another boy who also rejected bullying.

At 16, I was in a reformatory for three to five years for receiving money under false pretences. I had also run away just before my sixteenth birthday and, with another boy, had stolen an Austin-Healey Sprite and smashed it up while travelling at 87 miles per hour. The police said it had been travelling at 102 miles per hour and I believed them, until I met a car enthusiast who said that at 87 miles per hour, the steering wheel shakes uncontrollably and that I should pursue the police for compensation for their exaggeration.